Bad day yesterday
New Life Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Noblesville, IN
Posts: 777
Bad day yesterday
Yesterday, I decide to get out of my house and drove to the mall with my kids and my mother n law. My daughter can stress me out time to time. She get everything she wants when Grandma is here. My Grandma spend about 500.00 dollars on her last night at the mall. Which I am grateful that my mother n law can spend money on her, due to me not having a job. But, when my daughter makes a big scene in the mall about she has to get this and that, I started feeling my anxiety kicking in. I felt like my face was red and I felt like I was on fire inside. I hate when she makes a big deal about things and say I blame her for everything.
I get the teen moods, but she needs to give me respect.
Anyways, I just had to walk away and took my son with me and just meet them to the car. It was getting late that night, and we have a 1 year old dog at home in the cage. I wanted to leave and take her out of the cage.
We bought this dog cause my daughter wanted her and told me she will take care of her. She does sometimes, but I am tired most of the time.
I have talk to her about my drinking and let her know that if you want me to stop you got to give me love and support.
This kind of stuff wants me to drink, and I was going to get some after I dropped everyone off at home. But instead I ate something and watch 2 movies after I put my son to bed.
This is my 8th day without alcohol, and it is really hard. I got one more week and it should get easier after that. I am hoping!!
I get the teen moods, but she needs to give me respect.
Anyways, I just had to walk away and took my son with me and just meet them to the car. It was getting late that night, and we have a 1 year old dog at home in the cage. I wanted to leave and take her out of the cage.
We bought this dog cause my daughter wanted her and told me she will take care of her. She does sometimes, but I am tired most of the time.
I have talk to her about my drinking and let her know that if you want me to stop you got to give me love and support.
This kind of stuff wants me to drink, and I was going to get some after I dropped everyone off at home. But instead I ate something and watch 2 movies after I put my son to bed.
This is my 8th day without alcohol, and it is really hard. I got one more week and it should get easier after that. I am hoping!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Originally Posted by Jen73 
I have talk to her about my drinking and let her know that if you want me to stop you got to give me love and support.
But, this does not depend on your daughter's love and support. It's up to you, completely. It would be nice if your family supported you, but in my opinion, it's not right to put this onto your teenager's shoulders. You can do this and make your family proud of you.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 609
Every time you get through something like this without turning to alcohol, it will get easier the next time. At the age of 14, am sure there will be a next time.
I'd lay down the law on boundaries to her. I know it was a special occasion but her behavior is unacceptable with Grandma or anyone.
She should get some kind of negative for making a scene. It's not too late to do that.
Hang in there. All in all, you came out of this better than a lot of folks would. <---like me, I almost have anxiety attacks reading about a public scene. My daughter is just 12 and I'm very leery of moods that I have no clue how to handle till they happen.
I'd lay down the law on boundaries to her. I know it was a special occasion but her behavior is unacceptable with Grandma or anyone.
She should get some kind of negative for making a scene. It's not too late to do that.
Hang in there. All in all, you came out of this better than a lot of folks would. <---like me, I almost have anxiety attacks reading about a public scene. My daughter is just 12 and I'm very leery of moods that I have no clue how to handle till they happen.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Every time you fight off an urge like this Jen73, you get a little bit stronger, and a little bit more confident in what you are doing.
You deserve a lot of credit for last night. You really do. Well done.
Now, expect that there will be more challenges like this in the days ahead. Be ready for them and think of how you will deal with them when they do arise.
Good luck. I am glad you are here with us.
You deserve a lot of credit for last night. You really do. Well done.
Now, expect that there will be more challenges like this in the days ahead. Be ready for them and think of how you will deal with them when they do arise.
Good luck. I am glad you are here with us.
Practice Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: KC missouri
Posts: 885
I have bad days all the time. I don't take them personally. I make sure that every bad day is turned into a "Learning day" When I have good days I don't learn anything from them. I can learn a whole lot about bad days. About how to persevere, how to stay positive through adversity, how to keep on tacking massive action even through the face of adversity.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
8 Days is fantastic!!
For me I needed to develop some new coping skills for life when I got Sober, because all I had in the toolbox was alcohol, but we can't keep going back to that as a default, we need new methods, because will always have stress, we just need to deal with it differently!!
Keep pushing through!
For me I needed to develop some new coping skills for life when I got Sober, because all I had in the toolbox was alcohol, but we can't keep going back to that as a default, we need new methods, because will always have stress, we just need to deal with it differently!!
Keep pushing through!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Hello:
If you get sober your daughter will respect you more. I don't know your story but sobriety and honesty in my opinion, are always the best policy. I don't know the dynamic between you and also your MIL, but stressful situations will still be around but you will learn to deal with them. Flex your sober muscles and use us for support.
If you get sober your daughter will respect you more. I don't know your story but sobriety and honesty in my opinion, are always the best policy. I don't know the dynamic between you and also your MIL, but stressful situations will still be around but you will learn to deal with them. Flex your sober muscles and use us for support.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
I agree with some of the sentiments from above the decision to drink or not drink does not depend on your daughter or how you perceive she is treating you. Support is a beautiful thing and when nothing else worked I always found it here. However, ultimately drinking or not drinking depends on you. Sounds like you've got a solid start though congratulations on 8 days keep up the good work.
New Life Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Noblesville, IN
Posts: 777
I understand that it doesn't depend on my daughter, it depend on me.
I know my daughter been thru a lot by me drinking for years, and other things in her life she has to cope with. I know it takes time to get my trust back from her.
I am trying to be there for her when she needs me to be, which gives the courage not to drink, but I need her to be there for me when I need her.
We both need reinsurance in our life. I do tell her I love her and I want the best for her. Every time I see her, she remind me what I was when I was, I don't want her to walk in my paths.
She has walked in my path before and it was very scary seeing her drunk, when she came home from a friends house. She has told me she will never do that again.
She is very emotional, young girl. I just want her to follow her dreams and not get stuck in bad situations. She is very smart, pretty, and knows what she wants. I try to keep pushing her to her dreams.
I realize she needs me more than ever right now, Since I been sober I can go toward that path with her and make a new life together.
"I love you Amber, and don't forget the good times we spend together"
I know my daughter been thru a lot by me drinking for years, and other things in her life she has to cope with. I know it takes time to get my trust back from her.
I am trying to be there for her when she needs me to be, which gives the courage not to drink, but I need her to be there for me when I need her.
We both need reinsurance in our life. I do tell her I love her and I want the best for her. Every time I see her, she remind me what I was when I was, I don't want her to walk in my paths.
She has walked in my path before and it was very scary seeing her drunk, when she came home from a friends house. She has told me she will never do that again.
She is very emotional, young girl. I just want her to follow her dreams and not get stuck in bad situations. She is very smart, pretty, and knows what she wants. I try to keep pushing her to her dreams.
I realize she needs me more than ever right now, Since I been sober I can go toward that path with her and make a new life together.
"I love you Amber, and don't forget the good times we spend together"
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