The Rollercoaster having an AW
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 10
The Rollercoaster having an AW
My wife is an alcoholic. I was slow to realize the signs. I figured out my family was in trouble July 2008. My wife had gone to the store and the kids said Mommy bought a bottle..........it was in her purse.
What I have read tonight on SR haunts me. Some of the stories and so many of the events have happened to me and my family. It is like an echo.
I do not know where to begin. Last November my youngest sister died from a siezure related to fatty liver disease, yes she was an alcoholic.
My wife's parents were most likely A,s. Her brother is recovered and doing well. I thought my wife was really making progress, but this weekend and tonight it the same old lies, drunk, pass out thing.
I have known her for 29years and been married for 24. My two sons are now both in college. This marriage is filled with lies and seems like a prison. If I need to travel for work, she unravels. I am a prisoner in this house.
Swanee
What I have read tonight on SR haunts me. Some of the stories and so many of the events have happened to me and my family. It is like an echo.
I do not know where to begin. Last November my youngest sister died from a siezure related to fatty liver disease, yes she was an alcoholic.
My wife's parents were most likely A,s. Her brother is recovered and doing well. I thought my wife was really making progress, but this weekend and tonight it the same old lies, drunk, pass out thing.
I have known her for 29years and been married for 24. My two sons are now both in college. This marriage is filled with lies and seems like a prison. If I need to travel for work, she unravels. I am a prisoner in this house.
Swanee
Into the Void
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: California
Posts: 931
Hi Swawnee, sorry to hear about your situation.
FYI - family of alcoholics typically post in a different section called Family and Friends of Alcoholics - where you will get lots of feedback from people who know your situation all too well. This section tends to have more postings by people who have alcohol problems themselves, so you might not get as much feedback.
FYI - family of alcoholics typically post in a different section called Family and Friends of Alcoholics - where you will get lots of feedback from people who know your situation all too well. This section tends to have more postings by people who have alcohol problems themselves, so you might not get as much feedback.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 514
Originally Posted by Swanee 
Yes thank you. New to the site, knew I was most likely making a post location mistake. I thought it better to blunder but make a post to become an active member and not just a surfer.
Thank you
Thank you
The main thing is you are here and can get support that it sounds like you need.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
Hi Swanee --
Thank you for the post. It made me remember just how grateful I am and my family is that I have finally been able to hold on to my sobriety. It wasn't just me who suffered it was my family. My husband went through so much with me. I have no idea how he stuck with me as long as he did. I will tell you that he suffered just as much if not more then I did. I had the ability to be blissful in my drunken state of oblivion while he was stuck remembering and suffering with all the things I had did and all the things I had said. I know he still deals with these things.
I will tell you as a wife who use to get blackout drunk and attempted to hide it... that if your wife does see her own issues and is willing to turn around and fight with all she is to change, that there is hope for you both. But, you should seek out some help as well not just for yourself but for your families sake. I am sure your boys will have issues as they grown up either with drinking themselves, or being someone who enables. The cycle doesn't stop unless we are willing to hold the line.
I am sorry you are suffering. I am sorry your wife is causing you this pain. But, there is hope! I have been sober for 3 years and I have learned through that time that I really have to be accountable, learn to handle my ownself, be the best version of myself that I can be....
Thank you for the post. It made me remember just how grateful I am and my family is that I have finally been able to hold on to my sobriety. It wasn't just me who suffered it was my family. My husband went through so much with me. I have no idea how he stuck with me as long as he did. I will tell you that he suffered just as much if not more then I did. I had the ability to be blissful in my drunken state of oblivion while he was stuck remembering and suffering with all the things I had did and all the things I had said. I know he still deals with these things.
I will tell you as a wife who use to get blackout drunk and attempted to hide it... that if your wife does see her own issues and is willing to turn around and fight with all she is to change, that there is hope for you both. But, you should seek out some help as well not just for yourself but for your families sake. I am sure your boys will have issues as they grown up either with drinking themselves, or being someone who enables. The cycle doesn't stop unless we are willing to hold the line.
I am sorry you are suffering. I am sorry your wife is causing you this pain. But, there is hope! I have been sober for 3 years and I have learned through that time that I really have to be accountable, learn to handle my ownself, be the best version of myself that I can be....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Welcome.
My best advice it to read, read and read some more- both here in the Newcomers section where there is tons of information from the side of the alcoholic and in the Family and Friends section. The more you can learn about what is going on, the better equipped you will be to understand it and make decisions from there.
Please, try to take care of yourself a little. I know that it's easy to put all of your attention and focus on the alcohoic, but it is really imprtant to start to shift that focus back to yourself a little.
My best advice it to read, read and read some more- both here in the Newcomers section where there is tons of information from the side of the alcoholic and in the Family and Friends section. The more you can learn about what is going on, the better equipped you will be to understand it and make decisions from there.
Please, try to take care of yourself a little. I know that it's easy to put all of your attention and focus on the alcohoic, but it is really imprtant to start to shift that focus back to yourself a little.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Welcome Swanee. You can certainly post in this section. I am an alcoholic with a family history of alcoholism like your wife. I lied and cheated, a sneaky drinker for a long time. Until I couldn't hide it. Alcoholics will look forward to the chance to drink when their partner/spouse is away. Just realize that your wife is under a powerful spell. She will need help. She needs to realize that she had a very serious and deadly condition. It had nothing to do with willpower.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Welcome to SR. I am glad you found us and the support that can help
Let her unravel. Stop picking her up or cleaning up her mess. It is hers to clean up, not yours.
In the meantime. Read and take in the information. I am sorry for the reasons that brought you here but I am glad you are here.
I think it is time to think about Swanee.
Originally Posted by Swanee
If I need to travel for work, she unravels.
In the meantime. Read and take in the information. I am sorry for the reasons that brought you here but I am glad you are here.
I think it is time to think about Swanee.
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