Scared1234

I think I'm starting to realize if I ever want to be 100% off the booze forever, I am going to need AA and rehab. I know I need it...too bad I can't ever utilize those options. This is a secret fight that no one can know about

LBrain

I'll do what ever it takes, except that.

Is that correct? Feeling that the only way to help ourselves rests on only one idea and then totally taking that option off the table seems a bit...

Why do you feel you rehab and aa is the only way? Certainly there are other options that you can 'secretly' use to help yourself. Maybe?

JadedGirl

Nothing is more important than getting sober even if you need to face the fears and be open about it. You don't have to tell the world but can you go to Your gp and seek some support? I'm in counselling and although have had to tell my manager and have also been open with my close friends and family I've been amazed at how accepting and supportive ppl have been. I was expecting to be judged and it has t happened. Obviously you want to be selective but you may be surprised at people's reactions. If you really can't be open about it could you go to a meeting out of area? Xx

Soberwolf

Scared ring the main telephone number for Aa and have a chat see if that helps

If your talking rehab best to get in touch with a Dr and a alcoholic addiction local service

Good luck you have our full support

Anna

I hope you do whatever it takes for you to get and stay sober. And, remember there is always support here at SR.

Thepatman

There is no need to tell people you don't feel like telling.

My experience is that I don't give a dam about who knows. My workplace knows. But they also know I'm awesome at what I do and my dedication is unquestionable.
I lead by example, and people respect me.

advbike

Secrets allow us to hold onto our guilt and shame, and the addiction. I found SR very helpful, and also counseling, AA meetings, and reading about addiction. I also eat healthy and get plenty of exercise. Best of luck to you. Post and read here, learn about your disease, and it will become smaller.

Mikie9

Why can no one know about it? If you don't want to share I understand, but I am curious. I am not saying to make it your Facebook picture lol, but is there no one you can confide in? I drank for decades and thought no one knew, but they did. They just didn't know how bad it was. Living in secret is just lying to yourself in my experience. People may not know how much or even that you drink, but they see you are tired and stressed all the time and don't know why.

I hope my reply isn't offensive, I am just curious because this comes up quite a bit here, and I don't understand caring if people you learn you like to drink too much, and that you are quitting. They already know something isn't right if you are just now realizing it. I bet they would welcome this change and encourage you to be healthy.

least

I got sober without AA or rehab. I saw an addiction counselor once a week and came to SR every day. I have over five years now.

Dee74

I was a nobody must know guy too - until I lost control of my drinking completely and then every knew.


Don't be like me - face that fear (and that pride) and get help Scared.

what have you got to lose, exactly?

D

soberclover

I, too, have been sober with the support of SR checking in and participating daily as well as seeing a counselor on a weekly basis. I pop in to AA meetings on occasion. I also read a lot about addiction, recovery, and sobriety.

esinger

I did AA and treatment (and a lot of AA in treatment). That's not what got me sober. There is no cure-all absolute magic pill to get clean. It takes the willingness to change your outlook on life and make some tough adjustments. I was faced with the choice of getting sober or loosing all that meant anything to me. This was not an easy choice.

No matter how you approach this your going to have to suffer through some humility. How far are you getting doing what you are doing?

There's lot's of different types of help out there and links to several on this site. Why don't you do some reading and see if there's something that fits you? I learned a lot of helpful techniques just reading.

You can do this!

Sasha4

Mine is still a secret fight!
I have 3 years on friday!

You don't have to make any big announcements.
You don't have to make any speeches to audiences or crowds.

This is your battle and you fight it how you see fit.

But..............don't put off stopping drinking because you are scared you will be found out.
To me that is a recipe for disaster and from your post you sound a bit resigned that you will fail.

Come here, read all you can, look at online meetings or travel to an AA group miles away from you if necessary where you won't know anyone.
Just as long as you do something.
Don't just sit back and be resigned to failure.

I wish you the best xx

Scared1234

Thanks you guys. It really means alot to me. Every word said to me by you folks is read and taken in. I guess my biggest problem is that my AV convinces me that because I only binge drink 3 times a week, its ok. I know its not ok. My AV tells me "Well atleast you dont drink 24/7 like an alcoholic". The thing is, when I do open a bottle up at night, I am DEMOLISHING it as soon as possible and just getting plastered. I may only do it 3 times a week...but its still really bad for me. I have to stop kidding myself about that. Bahhh

Dee74

From my own experience binge drinking is every bit as bad as '24/7 alcoholism'...it may even be worse because of the compression factor - so much alcohol in finite periods of time.

D

GracieLou

Mine used to tell me that too until I was drinking everyday. It told me at least I still have a job, then I didn't have one. It told me at least I still have relationships, until I didn't have any. It told me at least you still have your children, until they didn't want anything to do with me either. It told me at least I didn't drink in the morning, until I did.

It is progressive. It told me at least I have a home, car and my health, those were going to be the next to go because I did not want to admit I needed help and then actually get that help. I didn't want to admit I didn't know how to live without booze.

I am not sure why you are hiding it or who you are hiding it from, but the most important person you can't hide it from is yourself. That is the person you have to be honest with. No lies, no denial.

You can go to AA and not announce it. I am almost two years sober and no one at my work knows. People that meet me on the street do not know. It is my private business and my private journey.

Johnston

I found AA very helpful and supportive my two times getting sober. Don't go much anymore, but it's nice to know it's there.

ccam1973

Scared, you do have the power to quit. I have found by opening up to a select few really helped me. Helps to know youre not hiding, ashamed or alone... it also helped me for accountability.

My only source for support has been SR and a plan. In the early days I was on this site as much as I could be. I made a calendar and felt gerat each day I got to mark off as another sober victory.

You can do this. In my opinion, it helps to let others around you know what youre battling. You might be surprised of the support groups you already have in place. That being said though, who you tell is your own business. To this day I tell certain people and not others. Some people just know that I simply dont drink, nothing more. Others know the reason behind my struggle.

you can do this but you have to make a plan and stick with it. There are plenty of people on here with stories similiar to yours, worse than yours and probably not as serious as yours too. If you feel you have a problem then you do. This is your life and your decision should be based on what you want to get out of each and every day.

You do have the strength to overcome this addiction. Its not easy and will be a constant battle that gets easier with time.

Glad your are here with us!

hillbillygirl

Making a calendar is a great idea, I did that too, and every evening before bed, I crossed another day off..another day sober. It's nice to be able to actually see it, progress.

SR is a great source of help, and not feeling alone. Utilize it as much as you want and can.

Best wishes.

Ruby2

Scared, tell the AV to stuff it on the binge drinking being OK. I was a nightly drinker. My husband is a binge drinker and alcoholic, currently relapsed. He was/is drinking every other day but then he spends the days he isn't drinking by laying around recovering from his last jag.

You can do it. I only told those people I needed to tell to get what I needed to get sober. I did inpatient rehab, with AA, relapsed for a few months and then added SR to the AA, along with a group of sober supporters. I have 14 months now.