Timeiskey

So, I attended my first meeting last night in about three weeks. I was in the middle of moving and didn't prioritize Al Anon and Coda. WHAT A MISTAKE!!! Three weeks ago, I had a pretty good handle on my emotions and was coming to a decent awareness and acceptance of the situation with my exABF. Since I saw him everyday, I was very aware of his "feelings" towards me. He had grown resentful that I was not allowing him to boost his ego at my expense anymore. I had simply stopped engaging. If I saw him, I said nothing, had neither a negative nor a positive response, but simply existed until he went away...I had stopped internalizing his disapproval and was excited about my move...then I stopped going to my meetings and by yesterday, I was a hot mess! Totally absorbed in self-pity, isolation, and internalizing his choices and actions as a reflection of my self worth. I even found myself biking on my old exercise path at a time that could have put him in my way. This was not okay.

I had to make myself go to the meeting last night. But for those of you out there that haven't been in awhile or haven't found a meeting that suits you- believe me, it is worth it to keep going and find your place. There is nothing better for the recovery Codi soul than communing with friends that you have come to trust that are experiencing the same kind of obstacles and issues that you are working through.

They reminded me that grief is not only acceptable but necessary. That I have been doing the right things to get healthy and that my ex and his actions are not reflections on me. This morning, I woke up early and have dived right into my work. I am feeling positive again and intend on attending another meeting tonight. I just wanted to let you all know that going to the right meetings can make a world of difference.

lillamy

I often think it's when I really don't want to go to a meeting that I need it the most.

walkinganewpath

Yes Yes Yes so SPOT ON with this!! I try to attend two a week - have an option of three different days a week while the kids are at school. That means I get to at least one. There are overlaps of people I know at all three which is kind of nice - Friday is my 'home' meeting but I try to get to the Monday meeting as well or instead. I had a hard time getting there even once a week just before Christmas and then I had a two week lapse of meetings during which time chaos erupted in my household. Finally got back to one meeting and then the last three Mondays the kids have had snow days...plus my car is horrendous in the snow and I have a very steep uphill drive to the road (the car that is good needs tie rods replaced and has to be towed-not happening). Being stuck at home also has me isolating myself. Not good....

I have been to one meeting a week for the last three weeks reading my literature, journaling etc. I feel like I am still working to get a toe hold on where I was before. I spent two meetings just listening and taking notes. It was like I needed so bad to absorb the wisdom, the stories, the inspiration and yeah some hugs and tissues too. Putting the Wednesday meeting on my must do list for tomorrow!!

I guess no matter what it is that works for you it needs to be made a priority if you want it to keep working.

Timeiskey

So true Walking. That saying "keep coming back, it works if you work it!" is so true!

NYCDoglvr

Alanon saved my sanity. The comfort of being around people who understand what I'm saying and don't judge me harshly. Eventually, the shift in my own thinking so I never pick another alcoholic or anyone who doesn't treat me with respect!