Not going into depth
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Not going into depth
My history/background not important.
I can forgive past screaming-pushing-falling-spitting- lies- That is forgotten and forgiven.
There is one thing that I somehow can't see myself forgiving.
He sold my laptop for money so he could get beer.
"It's just a laptop you say" No! It wasn't.
Aprox 9 months before my son was born 13 years ago, I wrote in a log everyday to my child. I wrote him stories, I told him how I was fixing hiss room. I told him funny things I was planning. All that gone because he needed his booze!
He told me he had cancer. I called crying to the Doctor and the doctor thought I was nuts. He asked me who told me that? I said my husband! He said he never told him that.
I talk to my X because of our son together. Do I ever want to bring these things up? Or should I just leave it in the past. It seems sort of useless mentioning it because I don't think he remembers, or if he does he will deny it.
My boy just turned 13 in Dec. so maybe I should start a new Teen-age chapter lol That might be fun lol
I can forgive past screaming-pushing-falling-spitting- lies- That is forgotten and forgiven.
There is one thing that I somehow can't see myself forgiving.
He sold my laptop for money so he could get beer.
"It's just a laptop you say" No! It wasn't.
Aprox 9 months before my son was born 13 years ago, I wrote in a log everyday to my child. I wrote him stories, I told him how I was fixing hiss room. I told him funny things I was planning. All that gone because he needed his booze!
He told me he had cancer. I called crying to the Doctor and the doctor thought I was nuts. He asked me who told me that? I said my husband! He said he never told him that.
I talk to my X because of our son together. Do I ever want to bring these things up? Or should I just leave it in the past. It seems sort of useless mentioning it because I don't think he remembers, or if he does he will deny it.
My boy just turned 13 in Dec. so maybe I should start a new Teen-age chapter lol That might be fun lol
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Look at my tag line.
Maybe, for you, the laptop issue is kind of like the Gestapo.
I think in a list of sh!tty things. Selling your laptop ranks pretty high. To be honest, Airwick, I'm having a hard time forgiving him for selling your laptop. And I don't even know who he is.
I wonder, though, if the real problem isn't more his cavalier attitude about it. "It's just a laptop."?????????? Did he really say that? It's one thing to forgive someone for doing something selfish to obtain their DOC, it's quite another to be confronted by their complete disregard for you as a person.
Unless he's in recovery, my hunch is that it would be useless to bring it up. If he can't respect you as a person what's the point. All he'll hear is blah-blah-blah. You'd probably end up more frustrated.
Maybe, for you, the laptop issue is kind of like the Gestapo.
I think in a list of sh!tty things. Selling your laptop ranks pretty high. To be honest, Airwick, I'm having a hard time forgiving him for selling your laptop. And I don't even know who he is.
I wonder, though, if the real problem isn't more his cavalier attitude about it. "It's just a laptop."?????????? Did he really say that? It's one thing to forgive someone for doing something selfish to obtain their DOC, it's quite another to be confronted by their complete disregard for you as a person.
Unless he's in recovery, my hunch is that it would be useless to bring it up. If he can't respect you as a person what's the point. All he'll hear is blah-blah-blah. You'd probably end up more frustrated.
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SK is spot on! Selling the laptop was bad enough. I lost mine for about a week and was losing my mind. It has writings, resumes, photos and my digital life on it. It's the modern day equivalent of being a horse theif, which btw, they hung people for. It's the attitude that floors you, not that it should be a surprise to any of us. He has no respect for you because he has none for himself. Start that teen log! Leave your son something incredibly precious!
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I'm SO sorry you find yourself here and with this creep's treatment of you airwick! He's your X then? Father of your son? How did he get ahold of your laptop? Could you press charges? The other stuff you wrote that you'd forgiven are bad enough. But the laptop thing is just... CRIMINAL as well as CRUEL with that cavalier attitude. Chalk it up to experience and start the teen journal. And don't let him have access to any of your stuff!
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Forgiveness is an interesting thing.
Forgiving someone who has hurt us is something that, in theory, we aspire to. But the older I get and the more battle scares I acquire, I've come to realize that there are just some things we can't forgive. And that's OK.
In my own case, I do not forgive my AXGF for her behavior and her betrayal at the end of our relationship. Nor will I. That doesn't mean that I seek revenge, or I wish bad things will happen to her, or I ruminate over what she did and how she did it. What it does mean, however, that bridge is burned. There is no going back. That connection is severed forever.
Your case is different. Your AXH is in your life because of your son. With that said, your AXH will likely express no remorse for what he did. In practice, forgiving someone that shows no remorse for what they've is a tough stretch. So don't sweat it. We're human; thus we're imperfect.
Forgiving someone who has hurt us is something that, in theory, we aspire to. But the older I get and the more battle scares I acquire, I've come to realize that there are just some things we can't forgive. And that's OK.
In my own case, I do not forgive my AXGF for her behavior and her betrayal at the end of our relationship. Nor will I. That doesn't mean that I seek revenge, or I wish bad things will happen to her, or I ruminate over what she did and how she did it. What it does mean, however, that bridge is burned. There is no going back. That connection is severed forever.
Your case is different. Your AXH is in your life because of your son. With that said, your AXH will likely express no remorse for what he did. In practice, forgiving someone that shows no remorse for what they've is a tough stretch. So don't sweat it. We're human; thus we're imperfect.
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Forgiving others is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves. I really believe this.
But, I also believe that the journey is as important as the destination. In other words, as long as one is aiming toward forgiveness it doesn't really matter whether or not they ever achieve it.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Even something simple, like posting this post here, can be used as movement in the right direction.
But, I also believe that the journey is as important as the destination. In other words, as long as one is aiming toward forgiveness it doesn't really matter whether or not they ever achieve it.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Even something simple, like posting this post here, can be used as movement in the right direction.
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I think what Zoso just said is correct. You can go ahead and bring it up. You can try to get some resolution, but it just won't happen. They are never sorry. It's disgusting. My X has done so many horrible things. I think he even convinces himself they did not happen sometimes. It drives my kids nuts that he does this too, but we have all accepted he won't change, ever (They are 9 and 15).
Chalk it up to lesson learned in who you need and want in a partner!
Chalk it up to lesson learned in who you need and want in a partner!
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I had given him the computer to use because I felt bad because he was loosing everything.
I left the marriage-got divorced. I brought him the laptop to use.
I will forgive, I just won't forget.
"Fool me once, shame on you"---"Fool me twice, shame on me"
Thank you all for advice given!
I left the marriage-got divorced. I brought him the laptop to use.
I will forgive, I just won't forget.
"Fool me once, shame on you"---"Fool me twice, shame on me"
Thank you all for advice given!
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Originally Posted by Duckygirl1 
SK is spot on! Selling the laptop was bad enough. I lost mine for about a week and was losing my mind. It has writings, resumes, photos and my digital life on it. It's the modern day equivalent of being a horse theif, which btw, they hung people for. It's the attitude that floors you, not that it should be a surprise to any of us. He has no respect for you because he has none for himself. Start that teen log! Leave your son something incredibly precious!
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Originally Posted by SeriousKarma
Forgiving others is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves. I really believe this.
But, I also believe that the journey is as important as the destination. In other words, as long as one is aiming toward forgiveness it doesn't really matter whether or not they ever achieve it.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Even something simple, like posting this post here, can be used as movement in the right direction.
But, I also believe that the journey is as important as the destination. In other words, as long as one is aiming toward forgiveness it doesn't really matter whether or not they ever achieve it.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Even something simple, like posting this post here, can be used as movement in the right direction.
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Originally Posted by hopeful4
I think what Zoso just said is correct. You can go ahead and bring it up. You can try to get some resolution, but it just won't happen. They are never sorry. It's disgusting. My X has done so many horrible things. I think he even convinces himself they did not happen sometimes. It drives my kids nuts that he does this too, but we have all accepted he won't change, ever (They are 9 and 15).
Chalk it up to lesson learned in who you need and want in a partner!
Chalk it up to lesson learned in who you need and want in a partner!
I don' t think I will bring it up, it's really not worth the aggravation or time
I'm just going to keep on keeping on lol
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Originally Posted by zoso77
Forgiveness is an interesting thing.
Forgiving someone who has hurt us is something that, in theory, we aspire to. But the older I get and the more battle scares I acquire, I've come to realize that there are just some things we can't forgive. And that's OK.
In my own case, I do not forgive my AXGF for her behavior and her betrayal at the end of our relationship. Nor will I. That doesn't mean that I seek revenge, or I wish bad things will happen to her, or I ruminate over what she did and how she did it. What it does mean, however, that bridge is burned. There is no going back. That connection is severed forever.
Your case is different. Your AXH is in your life because of your son. With that said, your AXH will likely express no remorse for what he did. In practice, forgiving someone that shows no remorse for what they've is a tough stretch. So don't sweat it. We're human; thus we're imperfect.
Forgiving someone who has hurt us is something that, in theory, we aspire to. But the older I get and the more battle scares I acquire, I've come to realize that there are just some things we can't forgive. And that's OK.
In my own case, I do not forgive my AXGF for her behavior and her betrayal at the end of our relationship. Nor will I. That doesn't mean that I seek revenge, or I wish bad things will happen to her, or I ruminate over what she did and how she did it. What it does mean, however, that bridge is burned. There is no going back. That connection is severed forever.
Your case is different. Your AXH is in your life because of your son. With that said, your AXH will likely express no remorse for what he did. In practice, forgiving someone that shows no remorse for what they've is a tough stretch. So don't sweat it. We're human; thus we're imperfect.
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Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr
To live with anyone who would steal, lie and not treat me with respect is unimaginable to me today. I agree, press charges.
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Originally Posted by SeriousKarma
Look at my tag line.
Maybe, for you, the laptop issue is kind of like the Gestapo.
I think in a list of sh!tty things. Selling your laptop ranks pretty high. To be honest, Airwick, I'm having a hard time forgiving him for selling your laptop. And I don't even know who he is.
I wonder, though, if the real problem isn't more his cavalier attitude about it. "It's just a laptop."?????????? Did he really say that? It's one thing to forgive someone for doing something selfish to obtain their DOC, it's quite another to be confronted by their complete disregard for you as a person.
Unless he's in recovery, my hunch is that it would be useless to bring it up. If he can't respect you as a person what's the point. All he'll hear is blah-blah-blah. You'd probably end up more frustrated.
Maybe, for you, the laptop issue is kind of like the Gestapo.
I think in a list of sh!tty things. Selling your laptop ranks pretty high. To be honest, Airwick, I'm having a hard time forgiving him for selling your laptop. And I don't even know who he is.
I wonder, though, if the real problem isn't more his cavalier attitude about it. "It's just a laptop."?????????? Did he really say that? It's one thing to forgive someone for doing something selfish to obtain their DOC, it's quite another to be confronted by their complete disregard for you as a person.
Unless he's in recovery, my hunch is that it would be useless to bring it up. If he can't respect you as a person what's the point. All he'll hear is blah-blah-blah. You'd probably end up more frustrated.
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Originally Posted by airwick
I will just forgive for "Me!" It is a closure that I need.
Best of luck to you going forward. Keep us posted.
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Forgiving is only about letting go of our resentment. At it's most basic we simply stop thinking about it. It does not mean what someone did is ok, that I will give that person a second chance to do it to me again. This keeps it real for me: "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
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How aggravating!!! I'd be more than a little bit bent if someone sold my laptop when I let them borrow it! What a shame about the daily log you were writing for your son--how heartbreaking!
If it were me...I'd report it to the police. At the very least, you might be able to get your homeowner's or renter's insurance to pay for a replacement laptop?
If it were me...I'd report it to the police. At the very least, you might be able to get your homeowner's or renter's insurance to pay for a replacement laptop?
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