cherra

It's been a while since I've been here so I bet a lot of you think I went back! I didn't! I've been gone for three months now (again). I asked him to sign the divorce papers the week after Christmas. He keeps telling me that he will but then he doesn't. The delusional man wants me to pay half his utility bill because it cost a lot to keep that big house warm. He says that it is my responsibility to help keep pipes from freezing! I say that he should be paying me rent for living in our house. He says he didn't make me leave! And then there's our daughter. He wants her to act like nothing happened after he cursed her, called her names, and lunged at her as if he intended to hurt her. He may not remember it because he was drunk but she told him he did it and still no apology. I've tried to get her to let it go, but then I don't take my own advise about things he's done and said to me when he was drunk. DD is still seeing her counselor who is trying to help her with her anger. Just venting and rambling!

Duckygirl1

Vent on sister! That's what we're here for. I have friends that vent to me all of the time. Sometimes we don't have the answer, but lord know we need to get it out of our systems! Praying for your strength!

theuncertainty

Vent away, Cherra. I think I'd have a hard time letting it go if my dad did that to me. I think I'd be terrified and untrusting of him for quite while. I'm glad she's seeing a counsellor; she'll be able to come to terms with it in her time, even if he never does acknowledge it or make amends. Getting her trust back is all on his shoulders, though it doesn't sound like he's owning up to that responsibility.

Actually... It doesn't sound like he's shouldering much responsibility at all.

Sending hugs.

dandylion

Cherra....I think it would be very important to get her to alateen or SR for teens in addition to her counselor. This is how kids can become "parentalized". She is too young to be playing the parent role when she should be the child. This is how people sometimes develop some twisted boundaries.
You don't want her out looking for an alcoholic or wounded soul of some kind to take care of in about 10yrs.......LOL!

dandylion

hopeful4

Cherra, I am sorry, I had missed your post!

I am so glad you did not go back! Have your DD keep working with the counselor, it will help, even if it does not seem to all the time. She is right, one does not just forget those things.

Hugs. Stay strong, you are doing great!!!!