jryan19982

So today starts day 3 for me after 8 weeks of being sober in which I threw away with one night of drinking- a very heavy night of drinking. I want to get back to the way I was feeling before, like my life had changed for the better and I was really moving forward. I need to get back to that place of being happy and content with life and without needing the bottle to make my world numb. I realized how much I enjoyed feeling (even the bad stuff) because I could feel and actively work to make that better instead of drowning my fears, stress, anxiety, and inhibitions in a bottle of alcohol.

I am absolutely disappointed in my decision on Friday night, and wonder what it would have been like to have not done that. I am sure I would have continued with my normal (and sober) life and not given one thought was to what it would have been like to drink the night before. In a sober mindset, and one which is not influenced by addictions) it never would have crossed my mind to drink. Never; because I was happy sober and content. I was starting to work out more and get a natural high. I was starting to eat better and my body was thanking me. I want and need to get back to that state of getting better.

Saturday was bad- bad- bad. Sunday was better, but still aches and pains and extremely tired. I didnt sleep well last night, so I am pretty damn tired today. I want back- I want to time travel back into my streak of 8 weeks and not have to deal with overcoming my bad decisions on Friday night.

Can I bounced back quickly from a one night binge?

Soberwolf

Congrats on day 3 Jryan

SoberLeigh

Have you read about the kindling effect? Here is a good link:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...light=kindling

jryan19982

I can totally relate. Pretty much just sums it all up. Thanks.

Jillian2563

Keep going jr. I'm on day 2. Had 6 days a year ago. Been drinking ever since. But I finally realized, I cannot drink. We can get thru this.

SoberLeigh

Even if this withdrawal is more difficult than previous ones, try to remember that each minute, each hour, each days brings you closer to recovery; then the healing can begin.

Withdrawal may be difficult but the benefits of sustained sobriety and recovery far outweigh the difficulties.

You can do this, jryan.

Jen73

Hi JRyan,

You can bounce back, If you are Hungry eat instead of drinking. If you are tired take a nap instead of drinking, If you are alone, get a pet instead of drinking. If you are stress do some exercise instead of drinking. If you are bored find a hobby instead of drinking.

You can do it, we all can do it, keep strong and kick butts to fight to be sober each day.

jryan19982

Well typical day three fogginess, anxiety, and just feeling of blah. Need to take deep breathes from breaking down.

biminiblue

I think it is good to remember just how this week feels, emotionally and physically.

One of my most powerful tools is "playing the tape all the way through." When I have that moment of thinking, "Oh a drink is a good idea," I have to play that whole thing out right up to the horrible state I was in when I finally was ready to stop.

jryan19982

Oh no, I am not even thinking a drink is a good idea lol. I know how bad that drink will be (even if it makes me feel good at the time).

biminiblue

Well, sometime on Friday you did decide it was a good idea. That's the moment when all the forces you can muster have to be in play.

OnMyWay7

Welcome back

jryan19982

Ok I see what you mean now. Thanks.

Spacegoat

Sorry to hear about your slip man but thats all it is. It is what is.

Keep pushing forward now. Well done for not reverting to 'the cure'.

jryan19982

Just really hating my decision right now. I am looking out side my window at work... nice blue skies. I cant wait to get outside for lunch.

Spacegoat

Keep us up to date, it will be interesting to see how long it takes until you feel as good as you did before.

I drank a bottle of whiskey at xmas after being dry for approx 3 months and I still haven't got back to where I was at in my mind & body.

Although I went through a bad depression after that and I've got stressful situations hanging over me, real bad sleeping patterns too bro. So not to worry!

jryan19982

I will never feel like this again. I will not drink again. I will never feel like this again.

Jillian2563

So jrryan, how was lunch?

jryan19982

It was ok. Good to get out of the office and walk around in the sunshine. Anxiety hit a peak after lunch tho, but it seems to have come down considerably. Thanks for asking.

JaylaaKent

If you are an alcoholic sooner or later alcohol will quit working for you. There will be no "feel good at the time" moments. Your withdrawals will also become worse. You can spare yourself months or a few years of experimenting by stopping now. Depending on your body and if you are a man or a woman. Alcohol has serious physical consequences at a faster rate with women. It will never get better, always gets worse. Controlled drinking is something an alcoholic will pursue into the gates of insanity and/or death. I think most people don't understand how serious alcoholism is and how bad it can get. People in AA and on this site told me and I kept relapsing only to prove them right. Took me 18 months of relapsing to come to terms with my alcoholism and that I can not drink. The consequences have sure piled up - all of which I could have avoided if I had just stayed sober I hope you can come to terms with your drinking and stay on the road to recovery. It's not an easy path hoping back/forth between and it does take it's toll. Hang in there you can do this.