He forgot my birthday :(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 51
He forgot my birthday :(
Hello all,
Today is my 29th birthday
but I feel so very sad that AH has forgotten, the first birthday he has not remembered in the 7 and a bit years we have been together. Yes we are separated and yes I guessed he wouldn't remember, but oh my gosh it hurts so much 
I'm so lucky to be surrounded by such incredible family and friends who are making my day so special but part of me just longs for him today he tells me he's in recovery now, but I don't know what to believe! I assume that if he's no longer on his pills, he would remember my birthday, but perhaps not. How can someone quit their addiction without rehab and professional help anyway? I didn't think it worked like that.
Saffy x
Today is my 29th birthday
but I feel so very sad that AH has forgotten, the first birthday he has not remembered in the 7 and a bit years we have been together. Yes we are separated and yes I guessed he wouldn't remember, but oh my gosh it hurts so much 
I'm so lucky to be surrounded by such incredible family and friends who are making my day so special but part of me just longs for him today he tells me he's in recovery now, but I don't know what to believe! I assume that if he's no longer on his pills, he would remember my birthday, but perhaps not. How can someone quit their addiction without rehab and professional help anyway? I didn't think it worked like that. Saffy x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Saffy, Its wonderful that you have loving family. they sure do bring up the rear, when other things in our lives bring us down.. you are blessed and I can tell that you know that.
I am sorry about your pain, though. I know how that can feel. Anyone can forget a birthday, but perhaps being separated it's different now.
Happy birthday...grab the joy today, and best wishes for a better year for you.
chicory
I am sorry about your pain, though. I know how that can feel. Anyone can forget a birthday, but perhaps being separated it's different now.
Happy birthday...grab the joy today, and best wishes for a better year for you.
chicory
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
happy birthday!!!
Don't allow him to ruin your birthday. You are trying to move on. Work your program and stay busy. You have to remember that he is your addiction. You can't have him, just like an addict can't have his drug. It is not healthy for you.
This to shall pass. Stay strong and try not to think about him.
(((((((Hugs))))))
Don't allow him to ruin your birthday. You are trying to move on. Work your program and stay busy. You have to remember that he is your addiction. You can't have him, just like an addict can't have his drug. It is not healthy for you.
This to shall pass. Stay strong and try not to think about him.
(((((((Hugs))))))
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 574
Happy Birthday Saffy !!
I feel the same as maia. And I became addicted to my addict. It's a consuming and painful place to be. Staying strong and staying away, letting the thoughts flow but reminding yourself that you need to keep to the path away from that, is a lifesaving boundary. I lost myself in the narcissism of his addiction.
You matter. Find something special to do for yourself today and come back to let us know how it all went.
hugs saffy
Joie
I feel the same as maia. And I became addicted to my addict. It's a consuming and painful place to be. Staying strong and staying away, letting the thoughts flow but reminding yourself that you need to keep to the path away from that, is a lifesaving boundary. I lost myself in the narcissism of his addiction.
You matter. Find something special to do for yourself today and come back to let us know how it all went.
hugs saffy
Joie
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I agree that today you should just embrace the joy and love of those who are making this day special for you.
Hope you have a wonderful day, Happy Birthday.
Let there be cake!!! (Just a little something I whipped up.
)
Hope you have a wonderful day, Happy Birthday.
Let there be cake!!! (Just a little something I whipped up.
) Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 51
Thank you everyone for your kind words of encouragement. You guys always make me feel strong. My family made me feel so loved today. I agree that I am somewhat "addicted" to my addict (and feel so ashamed to admit that )
Big hugs x
) Big hugs x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 205
I'm sorry but please let this serve as a reminder why you are separated from him to begin with. We don't need people like this in our lives. They are not deserving of us! Think of your family and friends who made your day special and feel loved and thankful.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Happy Birthday!
I think that’s what most of us thought, once the substance was no longer in the picture things would be happy and great and life would be wonderful and rolling along as normal as we saw normal to be. Usually once the substance is gone they are then left with dealing with what they were trying to avoid with the booze/drugs in the first place. The drinking and drugs are just the tip of an iceberg, it’s that ice berg that needs to be addressed.
It doesn’t work that way. If they were able to quit on their own with no problem then the alcohol/drugs wouldn’t be a problem right?
Stopping the drinking/drugs is the easy part it’s the staying stopped that is the hard part and for that most need something other than them to accomplish that.
I assume that if he's no longer on his pills, he would remember my birthday,
How can someone quit their addiction without rehab and professional help anyway? I didn't think it worked like that.
Stopping the drinking/drugs is the easy part it’s the staying stopped that is the hard part and for that most need something other than them to accomplish that.
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