Failed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 26
Failed
i havent been able to stop drinking, i did 7 days but now I have just been getting worse. After the last time I drank I have been miserable, and feeling like I'm nothing more than a worthless piece of ****. I feel like I'm about to loose everything, my job, relationships and my life. I don't know what to do
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 369
Are you really ready to quit? I've quit halfheartedly many times before. knowing in the back of my mind I would drink again. You have to be honest with yourself. To quit you have to decide that drinking isn't an option anymore. It's hard but easy at the same time. Just don't have that first drink. Have you tried meetings? AA helps a lot of people.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Pro,
I agree with Dave & Grace. For most people like us, it's almost impossible to quit without outside support. Although I went to rehab for six weeks, once I got home I realized that I still had an awful lot of work left to do... there's something profoundly wrong when you just spent $20,000 to get six weeks sobriety and excellent training about addiction but still want to drink. I went to AA the day after I got out of treatment, and can say that without it, I seriously doubt I could have stayed sober.
I agree with Dave & Grace. For most people like us, it's almost impossible to quit without outside support. Although I went to rehab for six weeks, once I got home I realized that I still had an awful lot of work left to do... there's something profoundly wrong when you just spent $20,000 to get six weeks sobriety and excellent training about addiction but still want to drink. I went to AA the day after I got out of treatment, and can say that without it, I seriously doubt I could have stayed sober.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
There's some good advice here proclub - make a list of all the things you could possibly do for help - all the recovery groups, the doctors, counselors and rehabs - then look at what you're prepared to do right now out of those options....
If in doubt, at least commit to the least confronting option & start from there
Your new life can start whenever you like
D
If in doubt, at least commit to the least confronting option & start from there
Your new life can start whenever you like
D
Last edited by Dee74; 02-05-2015 at 02:12 AM.
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Proclub
For years I had a victim mentality where I felt hopeless and wished that someone would just take the problem away. That doesn't happen. It takes hard work to get and stay sober, and most of us cannot do that without support.
For me, I had health problems and I realised that at 52, there was only two paths I could take -illness and death, or life. That's when I grew up and stopped f**ing around. Wish I'd grown up at 30.
Don't underestimate your addiction. It is powerful and insidious. Read up and know everything about alcoholism that there is to know.
Saying that you can't give up feeds you addiction. Your AV wants you to fail.
You need tools on board to deal with your cravings.
Find out how your mind works too. Observe it working up to a craving. it is full of thoughts that you don't have to act on.
The premise is simple. Do not drink today. Do that every day, one day at a time.
Find a recovery programme that speaks to you, be it AA, AVRT, prayer, exercise, a mix of all, whatever.
Work the programme.
Knowing isn't enough, you also have to act.
Start again, and try not to beat yourself up too much. You haven't failed- you are still posting. I had dozens of relapses before I finally made it stick.
You can do this.
For years I had a victim mentality where I felt hopeless and wished that someone would just take the problem away. That doesn't happen. It takes hard work to get and stay sober, and most of us cannot do that without support.
For me, I had health problems and I realised that at 52, there was only two paths I could take -illness and death, or life. That's when I grew up and stopped f**ing around. Wish I'd grown up at 30.
Don't underestimate your addiction. It is powerful and insidious. Read up and know everything about alcoholism that there is to know.
Saying that you can't give up feeds you addiction. Your AV wants you to fail.
You need tools on board to deal with your cravings.
Find out how your mind works too. Observe it working up to a craving. it is full of thoughts that you don't have to act on.
The premise is simple. Do not drink today. Do that every day, one day at a time.
Find a recovery programme that speaks to you, be it AA, AVRT, prayer, exercise, a mix of all, whatever.
Work the programme.
Knowing isn't enough, you also have to act.
Start again, and try not to beat yourself up too much. You haven't failed- you are still posting. I had dozens of relapses before I finally made it stick.
You can do this.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by proclub 
I don't know what to do
JanieJ nailed it, so read her post again (and again).
I knew I had to quit drinking and I thought that meant I would just immediately stop wanting to drink. Addiction does not work that way, and it can be maddening.
You have not failed. You have learned. Addiction to alcohol is no joke. It kills people every year. It kills the people who don't learn enough about how to stop it.
Learning is positive. You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Like other say, if you present this as a failure in your own mind you will find it more difficult to instigate changes. Reaching out to us is a great start. Who else around you can you reach out to face to face?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: The Northland
Posts: 600
Great advice here. I found it didn't work to focus only on not taking an action, drinking. I had to put some focus on a new action to fill the void left by inaction. In the first months, I replaced consuming alcohol with consuming everything I could about addiction and recovery. 100 days today.
Take action. You can do it!
Take action. You can do it!
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by proclub
i havent been able to stop drinking, i did 7 days but now I have just been getting worse. After the last time I drank I have been miserable, and feeling like I'm nothing more than a worthless piece of ****. I feel like I'm about to loose everything, my job, relationships and my life. I don't know what to do
What kind of life do you reasonably expect to live if you don't stop?
Life awaits, but not forever.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
For me an acceptance that I needed to part ways with alcohol on a permanent basis was the first step, there was gonna be no more moderation attempts, no more testing the waters, trying to be one of those people who could be a normal drinker, this was the reality and I needed to do something about it.
The next thing was a system of support because my acceptance after a week or so would be called under question as my addicted mind grinded me down to the inevitable, so whatever it is, regular SR posting, meetings, support groups, get something in place and reach out and use it on a regular basis.
Finally for me changing up my routines/habits was important, take drinking out of my life and I was left with a whole lot of time on my hands with my own thoughts, and guess what I would think about?
So my lifestyle needed to change and adjust to that of a non drinker in every aspect, I needed to make decisions on what activities to get involved in and what people to hang out with to make it happen!!
You can do this Proclub!!
The next thing was a system of support because my acceptance after a week or so would be called under question as my addicted mind grinded me down to the inevitable, so whatever it is, regular SR posting, meetings, support groups, get something in place and reach out and use it on a regular basis.
Finally for me changing up my routines/habits was important, take drinking out of my life and I was left with a whole lot of time on my hands with my own thoughts, and guess what I would think about?
So my lifestyle needed to change and adjust to that of a non drinker in every aspect, I needed to make decisions on what activities to get involved in and what people to hang out with to make it happen!!
You can do this Proclub!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
When the pain of getting drunk exceeded the pain of reality and I felt I was a hopeless,helpless,useless,worthless, POS, I walked into the rooms of AA.
And today I have worth, use, can help others, and have a lot of hope.
And today I have worth, use, can help others, and have a lot of hope.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 26
I've definately have been better. The worst part was the last time I drank it wasn't just alcohol I slipped up on. I'm so disappointed in myself because I have such a head full of steam and think I'm doing so good only to fail miserably and generally end up even worse than what I was before. I live in a remote town where I don't have nearby access to help (i have to drive to the next town) and it feels like everyone in the town knows about my problems and judges me for it, which makes me just want to hide away and not speak too or see anyone.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
it feels like everyone in the town knows about my problems and judges me for it, which makes me just want to hide away and not speak too or see anyone.
The only way is up proclub - you can start climbing... or you can wallow in shame and beat yourself up some more - but I know which is the right path to take.
As far as support goes, there's always SR.
If thats not enough then go to that next town - get connected and pick up some phone numbers to call next time you feel you're on shaky ground?
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