Its not worth it, is it?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 164
Its not worth it, is it?
Love life problems make me want to drink!!!
I think I'm fighting with my bf. I've been freaking out really bad and having trouble calming down. He's not responding to any of my calls or texts, and its clearly intentional.
It's not worth it, is it? I could just go buy a case of my favorite beer and throw myself a pity party today. It would be a nice distraction while I sit here waiting and wondering what's happening behind this deafening silence.
In case anyone wants the drama backstory..... He made wknd plans without me that he knew I couldn't go to. He didn't tell me about this until the last minute and he keeps saying it's because his friend did the planning and he forgot about it. He IS a flake. But I was hurt and I expressed that I felt hurt and left out. Heard nothing. I guess because we'd already discussed it? 12 hours later I apologized for overreacting. I still haven't heard back.
I'm so upset, I didn't eat lunch or dinner yesterday, I slept for like 12 hours and I'm still not hungry.
I have to stress this is NOT normal behavior. I know its probably a classic case of him needing space and not saying so outright. So I'm going to give him the galaxy. So I left a nice voicemail last night, and a really nice text with an apology, and now I'm leaving the ball in his court.
But I'm also getting ready to get my heart broken yet again. I'm not sure that my psyche can handle another broken heart but I have to be ready for whatever I get served.
Not knowing what's up is KILLING me!!!
I could go buy some beer or cocktail ingredients (vodka or maybe rum-- or bourbon!) and get nice and toasty and cry while staring at my very, very inactive phone. Then I can pass out, wake up in the evening, and start over again. The day will be over quickly, and my fate will have been decided.
This option has two benefits. One, it will help me cry. Two, it will help me care a little less, even if only for just a little while.
It also has major drawbacks. I have stuff to do.
Option 2: I could distract myself by being productive. I could drink a ton of coffee and energy drinks, do some work, hardcore clean, shovel my driveway, hang some paintings, work out. The caffeine option has the drawback of potential panic attack....and staying sober means my mind will be racing ALL FRIGGIN DAY...... but at least I'll be sober.
I know I have to choose option 2. Today is Day 65 of my new non-drinking life and I can't turn back. Option 1 just keeps beckoning.... and to be honest, if I still haven't heard back by tonight, that's not a good sign and I'm going to assume I'm getting dumped and I'm probably going to go buy a case of IPA's.
It's not worth it, is it?
I think I'm fighting with my bf. I've been freaking out really bad and having trouble calming down. He's not responding to any of my calls or texts, and its clearly intentional.
It's not worth it, is it? I could just go buy a case of my favorite beer and throw myself a pity party today. It would be a nice distraction while I sit here waiting and wondering what's happening behind this deafening silence.
In case anyone wants the drama backstory..... He made wknd plans without me that he knew I couldn't go to. He didn't tell me about this until the last minute and he keeps saying it's because his friend did the planning and he forgot about it. He IS a flake. But I was hurt and I expressed that I felt hurt and left out. Heard nothing. I guess because we'd already discussed it? 12 hours later I apologized for overreacting. I still haven't heard back.
I'm so upset, I didn't eat lunch or dinner yesterday, I slept for like 12 hours and I'm still not hungry.
I have to stress this is NOT normal behavior. I know its probably a classic case of him needing space and not saying so outright. So I'm going to give him the galaxy. So I left a nice voicemail last night, and a really nice text with an apology, and now I'm leaving the ball in his court.
But I'm also getting ready to get my heart broken yet again. I'm not sure that my psyche can handle another broken heart but I have to be ready for whatever I get served.
Not knowing what's up is KILLING me!!!
I could go buy some beer or cocktail ingredients (vodka or maybe rum-- or bourbon!) and get nice and toasty and cry while staring at my very, very inactive phone. Then I can pass out, wake up in the evening, and start over again. The day will be over quickly, and my fate will have been decided.
This option has two benefits. One, it will help me cry. Two, it will help me care a little less, even if only for just a little while.
It also has major drawbacks. I have stuff to do.
Option 2: I could distract myself by being productive. I could drink a ton of coffee and energy drinks, do some work, hardcore clean, shovel my driveway, hang some paintings, work out. The caffeine option has the drawback of potential panic attack....and staying sober means my mind will be racing ALL FRIGGIN DAY...... but at least I'll be sober.
I know I have to choose option 2. Today is Day 65 of my new non-drinking life and I can't turn back. Option 1 just keeps beckoning.... and to be honest, if I still haven't heard back by tonight, that's not a good sign and I'm going to assume I'm getting dumped and I'm probably going to go buy a case of IPA's.
It's not worth it, is it?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Nothing in this world is worth destroying
over with alcohol or drugs. Nothing. You have
a whole new sober life ahead of you with
so many rewards and promises waiting
for you with each day you move forward
sober.
Strength, courage, understanding, forgiveness,
not only for urself but for others as well,
health, knowledge, is all on your side. That
will be your new shield, your new armour,
to ward off all negative people, places and
things that stand in your way to achieving
a happy, healthy, honest life for yrs to come.
over with alcohol or drugs. Nothing. You have
a whole new sober life ahead of you with
so many rewards and promises waiting
for you with each day you move forward
sober.
Strength, courage, understanding, forgiveness,
not only for urself but for others as well,
health, knowledge, is all on your side. That
will be your new shield, your new armour,
to ward off all negative people, places and
things that stand in your way to achieving
a happy, healthy, honest life for yrs to come.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 132
you feel bad now. You will feel more anger tomorrow if you drink over it, it will make things better...and most of us don't get happy over a sad situation when we are drunk.
We feel worse., we feels sadder, angrier and work ourself up more.
do something productive, or at least nothing harmful.
We feel worse., we feels sadder, angrier and work ourself up more.
do something productive, or at least nothing harmful.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Mass
Posts: 85
Why don't you do something enjoyable that will
Make you feel good? Go to a movie, go buy a fun new pair of shoes or just sit at Starbucks with some tea and a good book. I'm so sorry that you're hurting right now, but things don't have to be so black or white. Hope you feel better soon, and don't drink!!!
Make you feel good? Go to a movie, go buy a fun new pair of shoes or just sit at Starbucks with some tea and a good book. I'm so sorry that you're hurting right now, but things don't have to be so black or white. Hope you feel better soon, and don't drink!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Well, I've been in your shoes too many times to count and option two is best.
Don't push him. Don't think about him even though that's all you can do. Don't pick up the phone. Don't text him. Don't check his Facebook page if he has one. Just get about living your life. This will pass. Too often I got caught up in the paranoia wondering where he was, why Wasn't he calling? Its crazy making.
What I found helped was keeping busy. Some mindless tasks to keep your brain occupied. My husband is an active addict following a relapse. He went out last night and after I sent a blast of texts at him I started folding load after load of laundry. That helped omg with ice cream. I already shoveled snow all morning. Just keep busy. Sort it out without drinking AT the problem. And it may not actually be a problem. Hugs.
Don't push him. Don't think about him even though that's all you can do. Don't pick up the phone. Don't text him. Don't check his Facebook page if he has one. Just get about living your life. This will pass. Too often I got caught up in the paranoia wondering where he was, why Wasn't he calling? Its crazy making.
What I found helped was keeping busy. Some mindless tasks to keep your brain occupied. My husband is an active addict following a relapse. He went out last night and after I sent a blast of texts at him I started folding load after load of laundry. That helped omg with ice cream. I already shoveled snow all morning. Just keep busy. Sort it out without drinking AT the problem. And it may not actually be a problem. Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: South
Posts: 226
Redefine the problem. Commit to experiencing this adversity sober. Reconcile that the real test has nothing to do with weather you get dumped or not, but if you can experience it sober regardless of outcome. Whether you believe in God, nature, the Galaxy....whatever, humanity has had these events and experiences from the beginning of time. We as people were meant to experience these things, and continue living. Although alcohol has been a round for a while, it nonetheless is a new externality. A synthetic substance created that happened to numb the brain for some period of time. Had it not been discovered, would humanity have died out, every time somebody got dumped? My suggestion: challenge yourself to experience life on life's terms without the synthetic externality. You just might surprise yourself.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Where has this Clementina gone? Does a few missed texts and phone calls reverse everything? I hope not.
Originally Posted by Clementina 
Hey everyone. I've been gone for awhile. I gradually slipped back into my drinking habits-- first I had a few 'sips,' and I did have a few successful nights of moderation. But of course, those didn't last. It went to full blown binges & blackouts. Now I'm back to day 2. It is going to take every fiber of strength in my body to get through today without drinking.
I had been working up the courage to quit again. And I was just about to do it when my mom suddenly died
I am a complete wreck. And I've gone on more than a few binges recently. But I don't want to take my grief or pain or anxiety out on alcohol anymore.
I'm scared I might not have it in me. And a huge part of me just wants to crack open a glass of white wine right now. But that's false desire. I'm trying to build up my resolve and recognize how much my drinking is affecting my life, my relationships, my ability to function and grieve.
So in loving memory of my mom, who lived most of her life sober, I am going to need to quit drinking. (Again.)
I had been working up the courage to quit again. And I was just about to do it when my mom suddenly died
I am a complete wreck. And I've gone on more than a few binges recently. But I don't want to take my grief or pain or anxiety out on alcohol anymore.
I'm scared I might not have it in me. And a huge part of me just wants to crack open a glass of white wine right now. But that's false desire. I'm trying to build up my resolve and recognize how much my drinking is affecting my life, my relationships, my ability to function and grieve.
So in loving memory of my mom, who lived most of her life sober, I am going to need to quit drinking. (Again.)
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Originally Posted by Clementina
Not knowing what's up is KILLING me!!!
I'm so glad that you are staying strong and sober.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Originally Posted by aasharon90
Nothing in this world is worth destroying
over with alcohol or drugs. Nothing. You have
a whole new sober life ahead of you with
so many rewards and promises waiting
for you with each day you move forward
sober.
Strength, courage, understanding, forgiveness,
not only for urself but for others as well,
health, knowledge, is all on your side. That
will be your new shield, your new armour,
to ward off all negative people, places and
things that stand in your way to achieving
a happy, healthy, honest life for yrs to come.
over with alcohol or drugs. Nothing. You have
a whole new sober life ahead of you with
so many rewards and promises waiting
for you with each day you move forward
sober.
Strength, courage, understanding, forgiveness,
not only for urself but for others as well,
health, knowledge, is all on your side. That
will be your new shield, your new armour,
to ward off all negative people, places and
things that stand in your way to achieving
a happy, healthy, honest life for yrs to come.
It is absolutely NOT worth it. I vote for Option 2. Option 1 is worthless and destructive.
If your relationship does end, try not to look at it as having been dumped (that term makes me cringe as it implies there is a 'dumpee' which you are not; you are too strong and empowered to be reduced to a dumpee); realize that your bf and that relationship was not meant to be a part of your healthy future.
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