SadOnEarth

It has not been very long since my axbf and me broke up. It was a heartbroken experience. I have been reading extensively on SR website and I find so many warm and constructive suggestions for how to improve my own situations without being affected by axbf's behavior.

I relocated just this weekend, been looking for some job opportunities to put my degree into work, meanwhile, I am working on getting another degree also. I just set up the first session with my therapist and he has been very considerate and understanding. As soon as the weather gets better here in the East Coast I will start exercising and working out again. I changed my diet and started quitting smoking cigs.

As for my axbf, he tried to cursed me out for not telling him where I moved to, being extremely mean and I also found out he cheated as well during our relationship. It would be a lie if I say I was not upset but from other people's stories, I learned it was a typical behavior for them and I tried not to take everything personal. He says because I left, he finds everything working out fine for him, new apartment, new friends, new romantic interest...etc...
He also mentioned how great his life could be since I (the bit*) left him, how he has been working on detoxing (taking black market sub) I am not sure if he was serious with the self-detox plan, but I pray for him regardless. I am also thinking of cutting contact with him completely..just in case I go soft.

I probably have to go back to where I lived some time to settle some issues over there, yet, I am determined not to see him again, although torn, but I am sure this time I am leaving all negativities behind.

Thank you SR, and I will keep updating, just to make a point, we can be better and we can get away.

FeelingGreat

SOE, it sounds like you have a plan and a good one. It's hard to break the ties when you love someone, but in your case hearing about how well he's doing, new friends, appt. etc while it's probably BS, isn't doing you any good. We all know it's vengeful quacking and your 'friends' are being relied upon to pass all this on.

NC, means block his number and ask friends not to tell you anything. You'll find it hard to start with but you'll get over that stage surprisingly quickly and then find it much much easier.

You have a fantastic future ahead of you and the strong character to treat this as a road bump. Good for you.

Ann

Sad, around these parts that's called "Quacking", his lips are moving but all that's coming out is "quack, quack, quack!"

Be careful, all this "my life is wonderful now that you're gone" quacking soon turns to "I can't live without you and will surely die if you don't come back...and it will be your fault".

This, my dear, is progress, real progress. With a good attitude and the effort you are putting into making a very good "new beginning" for yourself...you will surely make it and be better for the lessons you take with you.

Hugs

SadOnEarth

Feeling Great and Ann:
thank you for your warnings. Although I do hope he gets better, or if there is another girl help him with what I cannot do, I sure do not want to know too much details about his life anymore as it pained me somehow still. It is hard to go NC, but I will try to stay on this path as much as I can.

He did not text me yesterday, but today he says he is fine with my decision because if this is what I want he is happy with it. I hope this attitude of his stays. I want to send something encouraging him to get off the source of his miserable life that he blamed soo much on others but I do not know if I should.

zoso77

Yeah, I was cheated on, too. Multiple occasions. The sadism is nothing new, either. But this is who and what he is, so in that regard, this is rare moment of honesty from him, and it's one you should be thankful for.

I would change my number. Tonight. That way he has no way to contact you ever again. Leave him in your rearview mirror.