losing my mind
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Ugg - what a mess they make.
Meditation and yoga have helped me so much with stress management. There are tons of videos out there on it. Please treat yourself well today - indulge in some laziness, call a friend, take a hot bath, download a great e-book - anything to keep your mind from spinning.
It is maddening - the alcoholics in my life don't seem to have any stress about what they are doing to themselves or us - they sleep soundly, they eat fine, they probably don't even remember half the time...while I have taken years off my life in blood pressure and worry. We can take a lesson from that attitude i guess... It's so sad.
Please take care of you and that baby - I hope you can find some peace today.
Meditation and yoga have helped me so much with stress management. There are tons of videos out there on it. Please treat yourself well today - indulge in some laziness, call a friend, take a hot bath, download a great e-book - anything to keep your mind from spinning.
It is maddening - the alcoholics in my life don't seem to have any stress about what they are doing to themselves or us - they sleep soundly, they eat fine, they probably don't even remember half the time...while I have taken years off my life in blood pressure and worry. We can take a lesson from that attitude i guess... It's so sad.
Please take care of you and that baby - I hope you can find some peace today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Central---Pa
Posts: 27
He's in the recovery process. ..and doing wonderful with it...now that I've seen him through the dark times he's falling in love with someone else...every other day he says he wants me back but won't let go of her. I'm not strong enough for this
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
The last time you posted, he was arrested after breaking into your house and stealing from it. That was in November.
If this is what he's doing right now I wouldn't say he's doing "wonderful" with his recovery. He's trying to juggle two relationships--keeping you on the string while he's involved with someone else. My bet is that his "recovery" will crash and burn in short order.
Why, exactly, do you want him back? He's treated you like dirt, and he is continuing to do that.
I know it's scary when you're pregnant, but is this someone you can count on to do right by you and your baby?
If this is what he's doing right now I wouldn't say he's doing "wonderful" with his recovery. He's trying to juggle two relationships--keeping you on the string while he's involved with someone else. My bet is that his "recovery" will crash and burn in short order.
Why, exactly, do you want him back? He's treated you like dirt, and he is continuing to do that.
I know it's scary when you're pregnant, but is this someone you can count on to do right by you and your baby?
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Sweetie, you CAN help it. You really can. You just THINK you can't.
We were talking in a previous thread about how we can get just as addicted to the alcoholic and they are to alcohol. We have to say ENOUGH, the same way they have to say that with alcohol.
And yes, it can feel scary and lonely at first. But you can't count on him. He is still displaying the same selfish, callous behavior as he did when he was drinking. That isn't what recovery looks like. You and your baby deserve much, much better.
We were talking in a previous thread about how we can get just as addicted to the alcoholic and they are to alcohol. We have to say ENOUGH, the same way they have to say that with alcohol.
And yes, it can feel scary and lonely at first. But you can't count on him. He is still displaying the same selfish, callous behavior as he did when he was drinking. That isn't what recovery looks like. You and your baby deserve much, much better.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 865
At moments like this I like to sit quietly and repeat the serenity prayer over and over again until I can hear my words. Because there is a difference in saying the prayer and hearing the words. It brings me peace and back to a happier place.
Take care!
Take care!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
WhiteDove....I know, from my own experience, and, from working with pregnant women, that there is an increased need for nurturance and loving support during that time.
Hormones can also open the tear gates easier...lol.
Hon, I can't remember what trimester you are in...but, you MUST gather some support from caring others....for yourself...and VERY importantly for the health of y our baby.
You sure as Hxxx are not going to be able to get i t in any meaningful way from him.
Friends, family, neighbors, church members,---these kinds of people...tell them what is going on and ask them for support...you will be amazed at how people will come forth if you let them know!
Talk to your GYN or call Planned Parenthood---they are excellent for this kind of thing. Tell them that you are pregnant and alone and need emotional and practical support.
You are evidently grieving the demise of the relationship. Terrible timing...but, this is reality. You are going to grieve. No way around it.
Try to turn your attention to the coming birth and your nesting activities.
dandylion
Hormones can also open the tear gates easier...lol.
Hon, I can't remember what trimester you are in...but, you MUST gather some support from caring others....for yourself...and VERY importantly for the health of y our baby.
You sure as Hxxx are not going to be able to get i t in any meaningful way from him.
Friends, family, neighbors, church members,---these kinds of people...tell them what is going on and ask them for support...you will be amazed at how people will come forth if you let them know!
Talk to your GYN or call Planned Parenthood---they are excellent for this kind of thing. Tell them that you are pregnant and alone and need emotional and practical support.
You are evidently grieving the demise of the relationship. Terrible timing...but, this is reality. You are going to grieve. No way around it.
Try to turn your attention to the coming birth and your nesting activities.
dandylion
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Hon, I just read your last post.
Of course, you don't "wanna" let go. You are still grieving. It takes time to break those bonds (more l ike dissolve than break).
Right now there is another priority about to make an entrance. Do you want your baby to come into an unhappy home?
The best thing you can ever do for y our baby is to give it a happy and stable mother.
This relationship is anti-happiness.
Please think ab out this.....
dandylion
Of course, you don't "wanna" let go. You are still grieving. It takes time to break those bonds (more l ike dissolve than break).
Right now there is another priority about to make an entrance. Do you want your baby to come into an unhappy home?
The best thing you can ever do for y our baby is to give it a happy and stable mother.
This relationship is anti-happiness.
Please think ab out this.....
dandylion
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Central---Pa
Posts: 27
I got home around 1230 am my time. I talked it out with someone and heard basically everything you guys told me. I just have to decide within myself to be strong enough to handle it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Hello WhiteDove,
I'm glad you saw someone to talk to in person. I hope you were able to go home and sleep.
Please focus on wrapping up your pregnancy safely! That is your first priority, especially since you are high risk.
I'm glad you saw someone to talk to in person. I hope you were able to go home and sleep.
Please focus on wrapping up your pregnancy safely! That is your first priority, especially since you are high risk.
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