2Wheelterror

Other than AA how does one make sober friendship. This is where I'm baffled, i will admit I'm horrible with small talk. I am not someone that people come up to and start a conversation with and probably never will be. I've been told i look agressive and unfriendly.
Most of the things i enjoy doing are not a group thing. So my question is where do sober people hangout? Taking classes are out of the question since the closest place is 10 miles away and i don't drive. Same for volunteering its too far for me to get there.
Maybe I'm to fresh into sobriety with only 14 days but i would like someone to talk to face to face. Sorry I'm kinda rambling but ive been wondering about this for a few days.

Dee74

This article may help:

11 Ways to Make Friends as an Adult

I'm not great with small talk either but I chose the volunteering route...I met a lot of new people and relearned the basic social graces, sober.

The main thing is - be yourself.

If you're like me you spent decades trying to be someone else....Just be you - it really is ok...more than ok - to be you...real friends will dig that

D

DontRemember

I don't have any.. I have "normie" friends..hung out with a couple today, at the bar..Most of my friends are off the damn charts with moderation!

Wholesome

I'm in the same boat. I need to get out and make at least a few new sober friends.... I'm getting a bit lonely. Almost all my friends now are people who I assosiate with drinking. My plan is to start some new activities that I'm interested in. I like to knit in the winter and there's a yarn store across the street from me and there are always a bunch of women in there sitting together, drinking coffee and knitting. Not a bunch of old ladies either but many around my age, mid 30's. I'm also looking into taking up archery and I'm sure there will be some interesting people at the range. There are a few people at work who I think I should invite out some time.

I say get out and do things you enjoy and hope that new friendships follow naturally.

I have to get over initiating conversation with strangers without the liquid courage I used to rely on.

Niamh

Has anyone else heard of speed dating? Well, someone needs to make speed dating but have it be speed friends. I would go to that for sure.

2Wheelterror

Yeah its hard starting a conversation I'm really bad at it. If I'm really nervous my stuttering gets even worse than it is normally then i feel foolish and don't say anything. Guess being sober is more difficult than just not drinking.

Dee74

I'm a stutterer too...but to my friends, real friends, it doesn't matter

I know it's easier said than done but try not to over think it - we made friends pretty well at age 5...I think the basic principles are the same

D

Soberwolf

if there are no services within a ten mile radius asking for volenteers then what about a book club

Animal shelter, hospital, salvation army, local charity shops etc ?

2Wheelterror

There is a book club at the library but it meets during the day when I'm at work. For the rest nope nothing around here.

FeelingGreat

Not so much sober friends, but sober situations. Many people drink, but you don't have to be with them when they do.
I volunteered for the Salvation Army, even though I don't have a religious bone in my body. Love those guys and girls.
Some thoughts, book clubs (start an evening one by advertising locally), hiking clubs, volunteering if you can find something suitable, helping older neighbours with chores. Make it a priority to find something local. Just had a thought seeing you don't drive. Cycling. Craft groups. Not sure if you're f or m, but Men's Shed.
When you're doing something else conversation tends to come naturally.

Soberwolf

How about a 15/20 mile radius ?

SoberLeigh

Nursing homes are always looking for people to read to the residents or just sit and talk with them. Their activities directors are usually looking for help, too.

2Wheelterror

Yes there are but its hard to get there in the winter.Roads are very unsafe for bicycling this time of year. I'm not trying to be negative its just difficult to get out without driving a car.

FeelingGreat

If it's not too personal a question, is there any reason you can't learn to drive? Just wondering if it would be possible to overcome the 'don't drive' obstacle?

2Wheelterror

Its not that i don't know how to drive its just that i can't have a drivers license.Lost that privilege along time ago.

Soberpotamus

I've met people where I volunteer, and while out walking my dogs. Unfortunately, no real friendship has evolved from those encounters. But I would consider the ladies at the agency where I volunteer to be acquaintances that I'd feel fairly comfortable with contacting outside of volunteer work. An occasion really hasn't presented itself.

There are some super friendly people at dog parks.

happyandfree

For me it just happened because I stopped hibernating. I signed up for a marathon and a I heard a friend of a friend was very active. It was hard for me, but I called her and asked if she was interested in doing it with me. We trained together and I've met lots of other people through her. They are not a drinking group of people. So for me, it took venturing outside of my comfort zone and really pushing myself to be more social. So in sobriety, ive met a new group of friends who don't focus on drinking. I also do volunteer work and have met some new people through that.

notaloser

I would love some sober friends too. I really need to work on some of these ideas...Sobriety feels so lonely to me lately

upminer

Same here. I've got friends from work but other than that my personal friends are all about drinking and if they want to do something it's being in a bar which I've done with them twice since quitting but I found that boring. I'd rather be without friends than be with people who have the same problem I do just are actively drinking.

OnMyWay7

I'm just trying to do things that are fun/healthy. Started a yoga class and starting going to the YMCA. I'm hoping that I just start organically start making friends. If I don't at least I'm doing something fun. I'm lucky that I have 4 kids so I'm rarely alone/loney