A secret life
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: London
Posts: 172
A secret life
Alcohol has started to make me feel like 2 completely different people the sober one is good decent kind loving and the drunk one is the complete opposite. Iam so sick of hating myself Iam so sick of lying and being something that I hate!!
I wish I was not cursed with this issue, alcohol is destroying me from the inside out and every time I try and stop after a few days it seems like a good idea it's insanity. The worst thing is Iam so use to it I have kind of accepted Iam doomed to drink myself to misery and worse.
I just can't see myself living sober and happy it seems the hardest thing in the world!!
I wish I was not cursed with this issue, alcohol is destroying me from the inside out and every time I try and stop after a few days it seems like a good idea it's insanity. The worst thing is Iam so use to it I have kind of accepted Iam doomed to drink myself to misery and worse.
I just can't see myself living sober and happy it seems the hardest thing in the world!!
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
in hindsight Sobriety was the best decision I ever made Hercules, but at the time it sounded like an awful idea, what about my social life? my friends? birthdays? Xmas? New Years? winding down after work? I had soo many fears over everything!!
But alcohol is not the centre of the universe, many people don't drink and still have happy, fulfilled lives, don't give alcohol soo much credit in the world we live in, it's not the end of your life without it, in fact it's causing you misery now, if alcohol was a real person you would have told them to pack their bags long ago.
As for quitting you'll find loads of support here on SR to help!!
But alcohol is not the centre of the universe, many people don't drink and still have happy, fulfilled lives, don't give alcohol soo much credit in the world we live in, it's not the end of your life without it, in fact it's causing you misery now, if alcohol was a real person you would have told them to pack their bags long ago.
As for quitting you'll find loads of support here on SR to help!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Hey!
Many here on SR have been trough hell. And not the proverbial hell.
They made it and are now living happy and sober. But when they first arrived here, the light was dim. But one day at a time you can stay sober, it takes that leap of faith, the moment you say enough is enough and fight back.
Many here on SR have been trough hell. And not the proverbial hell.
They made it and are now living happy and sober. But when they first arrived here, the light was dim. But one day at a time you can stay sober, it takes that leap of faith, the moment you say enough is enough and fight back.
StayingAdrift
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Inez, Ky
Posts: 16
I understand... I am tired of all the lies, betrayal, and seeing the hurt I have caused because of my addictions. I am 1.5 days sober of all my addictions. I have been thru rehab twice, been sober on and off for 10 years. I know what these diseases cause but why do I keep returning?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Originally Posted by carla1979 
I understand... I am tired of all the lies, betrayal, and seeing the hurt I have caused because of my addictions. I am 1.5 days sober of all my addictions. I have been thru rehab twice, been sober on and off for 10 years. I know what these diseases cause but why do I keep returning?
The root cause, unless addressed just keeps coming back at the surface.
For me, I am confirmed that my constant fear of dying, without proper psychiatric treatment will always drag me down. So on my plan, this is in the top items.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 750
Hi Herc,
Welcome to SR. There is a way to happiness and sobriety. I am finding it here on SR. I am only almost 2 months in but this time feels VERY different and exciting in a strange way. I am finally getting it and feel so blessed to have found this place.
Stick around and read/post all you want, there are many kind helpful people here who really really understand the issues we face.
Justin
Welcome to SR. There is a way to happiness and sobriety. I am finding it here on SR. I am only almost 2 months in but this time feels VERY different and exciting in a strange way. I am finally getting it and feel so blessed to have found this place.
Stick around and read/post all you want, there are many kind helpful people here who really really understand the issues we face.
Justin
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 508
Hi Hercules
Well done on recognising a need to quit drinking & trying to do something about it... Never stop trying, I don't believe anyone is destined to die from alcohol addiction. I was interested you said how you felt like 2 people/minds. This sounds like addictive thinking (Av). There's loads of supportive people here who want to help you recover from your addiction. Keep looking, I'm sure your 'answer' is not far away
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
Well done on recognising a need to quit drinking & trying to do something about it... Never stop trying, I don't believe anyone is destined to die from alcohol addiction. I was interested you said how you felt like 2 people/minds. This sounds like addictive thinking (Av). There's loads of supportive people here who want to help you recover from your addiction. Keep looking, I'm sure your 'answer' is not far away
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hello Hercules read this my friend Cherokee Legend - Two Wolves.
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
It is hard at first to look into a future without alcohol, but honestly, now I wonder how I could have drank every day.
You can do this, Hercules, even though it seems like you can't.
I would not go back to drinking, it seems ridiculous now.
You can do this, really you can.
Those two minds you speak of are familiar to me- one is the addict in me, the other is the real me. Why not listen to the real you who wants you to stop drinking ?
It's helpful to have some strategies in place for that danger point you reach after a few days. You have to be determined not to drink, and that involves distracting yourself by doing something else -perhaps posting here or taking a walk, eating, watching a movie, etc.
Yeah the first few weeks are no picnic, it's true, but if you are prepared and have a good plan, you can do it. If can do it, you can.
Get in that mindset of "I will do this".
You do have the choice.
You can do this, Hercules, even though it seems like you can't.
I would not go back to drinking, it seems ridiculous now.
You can do this, really you can.
Those two minds you speak of are familiar to me- one is the addict in me, the other is the real me. Why not listen to the real you who wants you to stop drinking ?
It's helpful to have some strategies in place for that danger point you reach after a few days. You have to be determined not to drink, and that involves distracting yourself by doing something else -perhaps posting here or taking a walk, eating, watching a movie, etc.
Yeah the first few weeks are no picnic, it's true, but if you are prepared and have a good plan, you can do it. If can do it, you can.
Get in that mindset of "I will do this".
You do have the choice.
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