It's not a slip. It's a choice.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
It's not a slip. It's a choice.
It's always irked me how innocuous it sounds when we apply the word "slip" to actively choosing to drink . A slip, to me, indicates a unwilling participatory event that occurs wherein we are meandering through our day, and BAM, we trip over a dog toy, or a Lego, or miss a stair, or get caught on black ice, or the rug is ruffled, or the floor is uneven, or our damn feet just get all bunched up underneath us and we fall to the ground.
It happens unbeknownst to us. Our human fallibly tangles us all up in ourselves.
Slips happen.
When the word "slip" is applied to drinking or using, it subtly removes our responsibility to ourselves. It feels less like a decision we are making and more like a tragic turn of the wheel of fortune. It's just a "slip", right ? No big. Slips happen.
All ownership and accountability ease under the guise of a misfortunate, not in our control, event.
Slippery slope indeed.
We alcoholics are not victims. At our own hands, perhaps, but certainly not weak in spirit.
Have you ever seen an addict seek to get a fix ? Hell, we stop at NOTHING once the AV slips into the driver seat. If we make the active choice to drink or use, (and it is ALWAYS a choice, even in the throws of withdrawal), we will slip, fall, crawl, beg, borrow, steal, lie, cheat, scam, manipulate and sell our very soul to satisfy that craving.
I want what I want when I want it.
We have to take back our power and own our choices and recognize that we are not ill fated victims simply suffering through our lives with our addictions.
Somewhere along the line, the party ended, but we opted not to go home. Thinking if we just kept it going, just a little longer, all those silly quitters would eventually come back around and see what fun it is to stay blind.
Twenty fives years of the same party, day in day out, and strangely, the outcome never changed. Hangovers slyly turned into withdrawals, without my knowledge and certainly without my permission. But not one of my relapses would I categorize as a "slip".
Slips are what clowns do. To make people laugh.
No one is laughing anymore.
Party. Over.
It happens unbeknownst to us. Our human fallibly tangles us all up in ourselves.
Slips happen.
When the word "slip" is applied to drinking or using, it subtly removes our responsibility to ourselves. It feels less like a decision we are making and more like a tragic turn of the wheel of fortune. It's just a "slip", right ? No big. Slips happen.
All ownership and accountability ease under the guise of a misfortunate, not in our control, event.
Slippery slope indeed.
We alcoholics are not victims. At our own hands, perhaps, but certainly not weak in spirit.
Have you ever seen an addict seek to get a fix ? Hell, we stop at NOTHING once the AV slips into the driver seat. If we make the active choice to drink or use, (and it is ALWAYS a choice, even in the throws of withdrawal), we will slip, fall, crawl, beg, borrow, steal, lie, cheat, scam, manipulate and sell our very soul to satisfy that craving.
I want what I want when I want it.
We have to take back our power and own our choices and recognize that we are not ill fated victims simply suffering through our lives with our addictions.
Somewhere along the line, the party ended, but we opted not to go home. Thinking if we just kept it going, just a little longer, all those silly quitters would eventually come back around and see what fun it is to stay blind.
Twenty fives years of the same party, day in day out, and strangely, the outcome never changed. Hangovers slyly turned into withdrawals, without my knowledge and certainly without my permission. But not one of my relapses would I categorize as a "slip".
Slips are what clowns do. To make people laugh.
No one is laughing anymore.
Party. Over.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Exactly.
I had an Ex who slept with his ex wife while on a business trip.
"It just happened."
Yeah. You flew to Chicago, she flew to Chicago, you both stayed in the same room for three days. Uh huh.
Drinking is the same. Pick up the stuff and put it in your mouth. Your hand, your mouth. It's pretty simple.
I had an Ex who slept with his ex wife while on a business trip.
"It just happened."
Yeah. You flew to Chicago, she flew to Chicago, you both stayed in the same room for three days. Uh huh.
Drinking is the same. Pick up the stuff and put it in your mouth. Your hand, your mouth. It's pretty simple.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by alphaomega 
Somewhere along the line, the party ended, but we opted not to go home. Thinking if we just kept it going, just a little longer, all those silly quitters would eventually come back around and see what fun it is to stay blind.
Meanwhile, I was always the last guy there. And then I'd start trying to find strangers to keep drinking with or drum up some kind of after-bar party.
What a pathetic display it must have been...such a good reminder of where I never want to go again.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,039
I can't imagine using the word "slip" on myself. When I relapsed, I did so very consciously, with planning -- it was a relapse.
On the other hand, I know someone I respect who says he doesn't talk about either a relapse or a slip -- he considers that those who start using again hadn't really achieved sobriety -- at least for the first 5 years.
I don't mind when someone else says someone slipped. It's good to me to see someone be gentle on the living. Some of us are a little too inclined to expect perfection from ourselves.
On the other hand, I know someone I respect who says he doesn't talk about either a relapse or a slip -- he considers that those who start using again hadn't really achieved sobriety -- at least for the first 5 years.
I don't mind when someone else says someone slipped. It's good to me to see someone be gentle on the living. Some of us are a little too inclined to expect perfection from ourselves.
AWESOME post! AlphaOmega! Just awesome! Thank's for posting that perspective!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
I agree with you, AO.
I use the word "relapse."
Slip sounds way to innocuous, so I have never liked the term.
When I think of relapse, words like disaster, untold personal loss, jails, institutions and death come to mind - not "slip."
I use the word "relapse."
Slip sounds way to innocuous, so I have never liked the term.
When I think of relapse, words like disaster, untold personal loss, jails, institutions and death come to mind - not "slip."
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Yes and yes and yes!!
Staying sober involves a certain amount of will and intensity and determination. It means that even when the rug at the top of the stairs actually does trip you up, and the banana peel pile is on that top stair, and you're wearing those ill fitting shoes with the slippery shiny bottoms you STILL use every resource in your body to grab at the banister and keep yourself upright.
We are capable of staying sober in every single situation in our lives.
We build our core strength and our balance each day, and that is part of how we become so amazingly graceful and catlike in our inability to slip and fall....
Staying sober involves a certain amount of will and intensity and determination. It means that even when the rug at the top of the stairs actually does trip you up, and the banana peel pile is on that top stair, and you're wearing those ill fitting shoes with the slippery shiny bottoms you STILL use every resource in your body to grab at the banister and keep yourself upright.
We are capable of staying sober in every single situation in our lives.
We build our core strength and our balance each day, and that is part of how we become so amazingly graceful and catlike in our inability to slip and fall....
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