First time caller...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Fresno
Posts: 106
First time caller...
Long time listener. If you see my join date vs my quit date perhaps you can say I did not stop in time. Because I eventually lost everything about 2 years ago, marriage, dream job and the worst is having to fight everyday to get my kids back, because I deserve them 50% of the time. I have a very bitter former spouse who seemingly set sail to make me pay for what I did in any and every way possible. I don't blame her, but uh, to a point, we do recover and all must move on including victims of our behavior.
My quest is only some semblance of "normalcy" in my life and that is ALL i strive for and it feels wonderful.
I guess the consequences were never severe enough for me to search within and find the answer. Well, on Oct 17 I did, and I work these tools everyday. The answer was in me this whole time and I just ignored it. I can honestly say I wish I knew after such a small period of clarity my life would be so much easier? So much....and i am a rocket now. No, not a pink cloud for those. When you are on the floor, just sitting up is good, and in time I will stand, then walk.
Today I go to non-step support groups and attend a parenting class. I take the parenting class to show the court I am a very capable, loving father. If you have any experience in the custody side and what you did, i would love to hear..
I am going to stick around this time and post.
My quest is only some semblance of "normalcy" in my life and that is ALL i strive for and it feels wonderful.
I guess the consequences were never severe enough for me to search within and find the answer. Well, on Oct 17 I did, and I work these tools everyday. The answer was in me this whole time and I just ignored it. I can honestly say I wish I knew after such a small period of clarity my life would be so much easier? So much....and i am a rocket now. No, not a pink cloud for those. When you are on the floor, just sitting up is good, and in time I will stand, then walk.
Today I go to non-step support groups and attend a parenting class. I take the parenting class to show the court I am a very capable, loving father. If you have any experience in the custody side and what you did, i would love to hear..
I am going to stick around this time and post.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Congratulations for seeing the “light.”
For most of us it took awhile to hit our bottom and it will take awhile for many things to clear up, and they will IF we don’t drink even if our A$$ falls off.
Hang in and do the repairs needed.
BE WELL
For most of us it took awhile to hit our bottom and it will take awhile for many things to clear up, and they will IF we don’t drink even if our A$$ falls off.
Hang in and do the repairs needed.
BE WELL
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
If the ex has used your substance abuse against you regarding access to the kids, you might consider offering to submit regular UA's as evidence you are serious about sobriety. That direct link could keep you in line as well, because it creates a direct link between sobriety and your children. I know it has worked for some parents.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
welcome itstheone,
I must assume you are sober for 3 months? Congratulations.
It's good that you are working on yourself and starting to move forward.
Just be mindful that doing something for others (or other reasons) rather than for self can be challenging. For one, if you don't get the expected results, then what? Are you going to say you wasted your time and go back to drinking? One thing we as a group must understand is that the most important part is that we must clean up for ourselves first. We must make ourselves the number one priority. If we realize benefits from it great.
We cannot be disappointed when all of our hard work goes unrewarded based on our expectations. Surely we reap rewards from making ourselves better. But we must also learn to accept that sometimes things we broke in the past are unfixable. And by making ourselves 'well' again we learn how to deal with disappointments and not getting our way. Part of the journey is learning how to live life without leaning on booze, and becoming a real part of our own existence.
Hope the best for you. Keep at it. Sounds like you are doing the right things.
I must assume you are sober for 3 months? Congratulations.
It's good that you are working on yourself and starting to move forward.
Just be mindful that doing something for others (or other reasons) rather than for self can be challenging. For one, if you don't get the expected results, then what? Are you going to say you wasted your time and go back to drinking? One thing we as a group must understand is that the most important part is that we must clean up for ourselves first. We must make ourselves the number one priority. If we realize benefits from it great.
We cannot be disappointed when all of our hard work goes unrewarded based on our expectations. Surely we reap rewards from making ourselves better. But we must also learn to accept that sometimes things we broke in the past are unfixable. And by making ourselves 'well' again we learn how to deal with disappointments and not getting our way. Part of the journey is learning how to live life without leaning on booze, and becoming a real part of our own existence.
Hope the best for you. Keep at it. Sounds like you are doing the right things.
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