Has anyone experienced this?
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Ireland
Posts: 55
Has anyone experienced this?
Last week I went with my on\off partner to the hospital because he was having chest pains which we thought may be a heart attack. After examination and hearing that he has vomited blood recently the doctors said his liver is severely enlarged and pressing on blood vessels which is what's causing the bleeding. They wanted to keep him in and do further tests but he insisted he was going home and would go back for a day appointment and that he would go back immediately if there was any more pain or bleeding.
He hasn't stooped drinking, is having at least a bottle of vodka a day, probably more. He is in pain all the time, liver and kidneys and told me last night there is blood coming up into his mouth, not vomit, just blood. Sorry for the description. He is refusing to go to the doctor or back to the hospital. Today I told his 25 tear old daughter what is happening as she asked me to keep her informed as he is not telling family members how he is and doesn't want me to either but I told him I can't carry this on my own and keep it from them.
I know we can't stop them drinking even if they are killing themselves. He says, and I feel that he wants to drink himself to death. He says he just can't stop this time. He was sober for a couple of months before he started drinking again a couple of months ago. I suppose I believe that people have the right to choose how they want to live and die. My question is, is he capable of making that decision at the moment? And do we have the right to intervene in any way? He just gets very angry when I try. I think his liver is not able to process the alcohol at all anymore so he is getting very confused and contrary as soon as he takes any at all. He is not himself anymore, not making any sense most of the time and it's so sad. So are we supposed to just watch him die knowing that even at this late stage there are medical procedures which could help if he could stop drinking too. Any feedback would be much appreciated. And prayers too. Thanks.
He hasn't stooped drinking, is having at least a bottle of vodka a day, probably more. He is in pain all the time, liver and kidneys and told me last night there is blood coming up into his mouth, not vomit, just blood. Sorry for the description. He is refusing to go to the doctor or back to the hospital. Today I told his 25 tear old daughter what is happening as she asked me to keep her informed as he is not telling family members how he is and doesn't want me to either but I told him I can't carry this on my own and keep it from them.
I know we can't stop them drinking even if they are killing themselves. He says, and I feel that he wants to drink himself to death. He says he just can't stop this time. He was sober for a couple of months before he started drinking again a couple of months ago. I suppose I believe that people have the right to choose how they want to live and die. My question is, is he capable of making that decision at the moment? And do we have the right to intervene in any way? He just gets very angry when I try. I think his liver is not able to process the alcohol at all anymore so he is getting very confused and contrary as soon as he takes any at all. He is not himself anymore, not making any sense most of the time and it's so sad. So are we supposed to just watch him die knowing that even at this late stage there are medical procedures which could help if he could stop drinking too. Any feedback would be much appreciated. And prayers too. Thanks.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'm so sorry you are both going through this. I watched my second husband almost die from liver/kidney failure, and after a brief period of sobriety he went right back to it--it's been 15 years and I don't know HOW he is still alive.
The bleeding from the esophagus is a very dangerous (and common) result of cirrhosis. He could literally bleed to death at any time once that starts.
He sounds terribly ill, and I don't honestly know what to tell you. You could attempt to have him committed for medical care--if he is bleeding you could call 911 and they could probably take him for an evaluation against his will--end-stage liver disease (coupled, of course, with the drinking) does render people incompetent to make medical decisions.
It's kind of a last-ditch sort of thing--get him detoxed and mentally clear enough to find out whether he wants to live. He may not.
It's a horrible thing for the families to have to go through. You might want to consult an attorney who deals with issues of mental incompetency and medical care--maybe someone who specializes in mental health issues. Your local bar association should be able to give you a referral.
Hugs, I am so, so sorry all of you--you, him, and his children--are having to go through this ordeal.
The bleeding from the esophagus is a very dangerous (and common) result of cirrhosis. He could literally bleed to death at any time once that starts.
He sounds terribly ill, and I don't honestly know what to tell you. You could attempt to have him committed for medical care--if he is bleeding you could call 911 and they could probably take him for an evaluation against his will--end-stage liver disease (coupled, of course, with the drinking) does render people incompetent to make medical decisions.
It's kind of a last-ditch sort of thing--get him detoxed and mentally clear enough to find out whether he wants to live. He may not.
It's a horrible thing for the families to have to go through. You might want to consult an attorney who deals with issues of mental incompetency and medical care--maybe someone who specializes in mental health issues. Your local bar association should be able to give you a referral.
Hugs, I am so, so sorry all of you--you, him, and his children--are having to go through this ordeal.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
i'm sending prayers to you honey, I'm so sorry you are in this place.
I don't know a thing about how you should proceed, I don't know what I would do in such a horrible situation. I guess I would pray for an incident that gave cause to call an ambulance to take him away, sounds like he is convinced that sobriety is not for him. Worst possible spot to be in with someone you care about.
Katie xo
I don't know a thing about how you should proceed, I don't know what I would do in such a horrible situation. I guess I would pray for an incident that gave cause to call an ambulance to take him away, sounds like he is convinced that sobriety is not for him. Worst possible spot to be in with someone you care about.
Katie xo
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Oh, I'm sorry, I just noticed he is an "on/off partner," not a spouse. You probably cannot force him into anything against his will, but his kids might be able to. They would be the only ones with a legal right to take action on his behalf. I'd give them ALL the info and let them decide what is best to do.
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