chloebaby

I am so pissed at myself. I have no idea how I got here. A year ago I got a job at a major automotive company...with good pay. A jeep , 10 thousand in the bank and a family proud of me....finally. Well not my alcoholic dad he died last September and I still don't know exactly why. I left said automotive company to go back to a company where I was somebody not just a drone. I ended up quitting cuz stress.....The day before I got my dui and lost my license. During that time I met my current bf who has stuck by me no matter what I do. I just don't understand why he just doesn't leave. My daughter lives with me who is 18 who I think loves and hates me at same time. She has a mild intellectual disability. Many times she has gotten lost walking yo school. My 21 yr old son moved back. I missed him so much but he has absolutely no ambition but to smoke pot all day. This has been causing conflicks with my bf. I am first woman my bf has ever even brought to meet his family....yes he is 40. Lol I just feel like im in the middle sticking up for both sides. Omg im babbling. Anyway I got a job that I sat on my ass all night but because of my drinking I was demoted cuz I just didn't care anymore except for my beer. I have never ever been demoted...only promoted...this touched a nerve so I quit. Not the supervisor job btw the one after. I have always gotten jobs fast this time it took a month. I am happy I got a job but scared too...all guy plant. So I rewarded myself by buying 3 tall boys. I know that I can't do just one so I drank one and I just dumped the rest. Im sorry that im rambling but no one else understand my mind said yay u got a job go get wasted. You're scared then get wasted.

Jupiters

good job on pouring them out. and congrats on the job

Ruby2

Well I understand. It makes perfect sense to me. But then again, I'm an alcoholic and would drink over everything and anything. I took an offered transfer which was virtually a demotion. My job performance was terrible. Did i blame my drinking? No. My husband, who is also an alcoholic is getting laid off from his job. He went out and drank over it.

It was only when I admitted I couldn't moderate my drinking, that I am an alcoholic, and refused to retreat into the bottle for solace or celebration, did my life improve.

Its great that you dumped the rest. Stick here to learn how to just not buy any. Once I gave it up, the solitutions to a lot of things became clearer. Keep coming back.

Soberwolf

Hi CB dust yourself off & try again learn from this good job on pouring the rest away btw

Acceptance is key

Reward yourself with lil things that dont involve alcohol ie a book, new shoes, a nice meal

Reward yourself with good sober stuff

Ruby2

P.s. next time reward yourself with ice cream. Works wonders for me.

Jupiters

exactly.
Start changing that habit of reward with booze.
Reward with a nice, long hot bath. A great new book. Some new shoes?
something that isn't booze! There's a whole world of stuff out there that isn't alcohol
break the pattern

PurpleKnight

My habit was exactly the same Chloe, I got a promotion, let's drink, it's my birthday, let's drink, it's Xmas, let's drink.

But that soon turned into I'm home from work, let's drink, and I am awake, let's drink.

Old habits die hard and the link between celebrating and drinking is a tough one to break, but what really does alcohol do? does it really improve the situation, make the promotion even better? it simply creates a buzz, the same buzz on a Tuesday or Monday night when there is nothing to celebrate and something I did everyday for years.

We need to break that link, reward ourselves in other ways, in fact isn't appreciating the new job a reward in itself, the fact you're employed and have a wage to provide for you and your family?

Alcohol used to promise soo much when I was "celebrating", but usually delivered nothing more than a hangover!!

Keep pushing through and great job on pouring the rest out!!

Nofearnobeer

^^^^ All of the above! Hang in there and keep at it Chloe! Great job chuckin them out..