thousandwords53

Tonight AH asked me, rather sheepishly, if he could just have one beer. It has been exactly one week since me asking for a separation if things stayed the way they were. He went cold turkey that night.
I told him, with a smile: "you can do whatever you want to do"
Which he took either as a challenge or a hidden NO. Two minutes later he declared he was going to bed. Was my response inline? I didn't realize we had anymore beer in the house.
I don't want to tell him what to do. But when I stated my boundaries, I mean it 100%, not 99.999%

Soberintexas007

You did well with your response. But I would not allow any alcohol in the house, as it can be too tempting.

thousandwords53

Ok thank you. And yes, that was a stipulation: no drinking in the home. There is none in the fridge so I wonder where this beer is? Hmmm

Katchie

Don't drive yourself crazy wondering where his hidden stash is, just stick to what you said and mean it.
hugs

Clee0308

Good job!

thousandwords53

Thank you guys!
I'm not worrying about where it's at. I haven't even moved from the couch lol. I find it sadly humorous.
Right now I am having an internal struggle of feeling just done, and wish that if he has no serious interest in getting healthy that it will become apparent sooner rather than later.
It makes me sad, but I'm tired of effing around.

SeriousKarma

From what I remember, after having had many discussions on the topic with my STBXAH, the beer is delivered by elves riding magic unicorns.

I love your response. It put the responsibility of his drinking on him. Which is exactly where it should be. I never really managed to get that down, and spent the bulk of my 23 year marriage chasing elves and cleaning up unicorn poop.

thousandwords53

Unicorns ARE pretty awesome. I didn't realize this was such a magical dilemma

Honshine

I now despise unicorns and anything that sparkles >_<

LeeJane

LOLOL!!

Nice job, Thousand Words, you kept the responsibility in the right place.

Jupiters

hahahah I always thought Unicorns were pretty awesome, now they are tarnished! I had no idea they were in cahoots with them!

CodeJob

I'm Irish and we leave gold for the fairies for a reason!

This doesn't bode well. Is the boundary he leaves if he drinks or you Thousand words?

redatlanta

Good on that ^^^^. I think you handled it beautifully. No point in looking for it.

fluffyflea

It will become apparent, look at his feet rather than listen to his lips...........

dandylion

thousand words...I think you handled it beautifully.

This man has a war going on in his head that is just as fearful as the one going o n in your s, right now. For him to stop cold turkey and never have a drink again (WITH NO PROGRAM) is close to the impossible.
He is probably going to have to learn this the "hardest way".

Nothing you can do except to enforce your boundaries when they are crossed. If you don't--your words will just ring hollow.
The saying: "actions; not just words" applies to the alcoholic and us, alike.

dandylion

FireSprite

I think you handled this perfectly! To me, this is exactly how to enforce a boundary without trying to control behavior/issue ultimatums. Well done!

hopeful4

HaHa...SK, that is hilarious!

I personally think your response, and your reaction (doing nothing), were spot on. Good for you!