I'm back - guess what? Moderation didn't work.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
I'm back - guess what? Moderation didn't work.
Hi Everyone.. I'm back again, well actually never left (I've always been reading). I never viewed myself as a serious drinker, in fact I rarely drank until I quit smoking.
Until I quit smoking I would and could go weeks without drinking and never give it a second thought. I knock back 4 or 5 pints at a sitting but never black out or get hangovers etc.. Never even bought beer for the fridge, and any wine I had would go bad once opened.. crazy eh?
Then I decided to quit smoking, which I am grateful for doing. Problem is I passed one addiction on to another. It started out slowly, whereby I would have a glass of wine or beer at night time every few days. Over the span of about 2 years it got to the point where I was drinking every night. Not enough to get sloshed, but enough that it was getting troublesome and noticeable. This is the point where I first found SR.
I battled believing I had a problem, but nevertheless decided to prove I didn't need alcohol anymore. Class of NOV 2011, and I went all the way to Dec 2012 without a sip. It was difficult at the beginning, but after a few months I was so happy (I take meds for Depression too) and thoroughly enjoyed life. I was proactive, exercised, and spent more time with my kids. Why I ever decided to start up again is beyond me, but I guess it was my way of saying meh I can do it once I can do it again.
Well for the past two years, I have basically become a functioning alcoholic. A few people in my inner circle are certainly aware, but I'm great at hiding it (or so I think). I now crave alcohol first thing in the morning (I also work from home which makes things brutal). Again, I don't blackout or get sloshed but I drink basically 1 bottle of wine/day (+ a beer if need be). If I start at 11AM, im done a couple of hours later, but my day is destroyed. I get nothing done, and all I feel is regret and guilt come dinner time. It's such a pathetic existence, to carve your day around a drinking schedule - but alas, I've come to realize that this progressive disease has finally sunken its teeth into me.
I know where this is going, and I have educated myself enough to know I DON'T want to go there. I've passed the point where Alcohol is just a "drink" and it has consumed me. It is time for me to stop again, this time for good and I couldn't be more excited.
Yesterday was day 1, and wow - I was exhausted. Much different this time around. I started my cravings around 10AM and battled through them. around noon I took a quick nap only to battle some more all afternoon. By the time I ate dinner around 5PM, I went upstairs for another nap and fell asleep until this morning at 8AM!!!!! that's almost 14 hours (unheard of), thank god my wife just let me be but how odd is that???? I also had crazy nightmares waking up periodically in a sweat. I'm going through my Day 2 cravings as I write, and no doubt I'll be exhausted again this evening, but I am so happy to make through to Day 2, that I will be even happier on Day 3.
Tour #2 has so far been much harder, and probably because of my need for alcohol in the system. I'm not sure what to expect, but I'll def be hanging out on this site 24/7 for the next month (except when I sleep).
Incidentally, has anyone else experienced these crazy nightmares/dreams? and if so, what's the typical timeline before they subside?
thx for listening.
Until I quit smoking I would and could go weeks without drinking and never give it a second thought. I knock back 4 or 5 pints at a sitting but never black out or get hangovers etc.. Never even bought beer for the fridge, and any wine I had would go bad once opened.. crazy eh?
Then I decided to quit smoking, which I am grateful for doing. Problem is I passed one addiction on to another. It started out slowly, whereby I would have a glass of wine or beer at night time every few days. Over the span of about 2 years it got to the point where I was drinking every night. Not enough to get sloshed, but enough that it was getting troublesome and noticeable. This is the point where I first found SR.
I battled believing I had a problem, but nevertheless decided to prove I didn't need alcohol anymore. Class of NOV 2011, and I went all the way to Dec 2012 without a sip. It was difficult at the beginning, but after a few months I was so happy (I take meds for Depression too) and thoroughly enjoyed life. I was proactive, exercised, and spent more time with my kids. Why I ever decided to start up again is beyond me, but I guess it was my way of saying meh I can do it once I can do it again.
Well for the past two years, I have basically become a functioning alcoholic. A few people in my inner circle are certainly aware, but I'm great at hiding it (or so I think). I now crave alcohol first thing in the morning (I also work from home which makes things brutal). Again, I don't blackout or get sloshed but I drink basically 1 bottle of wine/day (+ a beer if need be). If I start at 11AM, im done a couple of hours later, but my day is destroyed. I get nothing done, and all I feel is regret and guilt come dinner time. It's such a pathetic existence, to carve your day around a drinking schedule - but alas, I've come to realize that this progressive disease has finally sunken its teeth into me.
I know where this is going, and I have educated myself enough to know I DON'T want to go there. I've passed the point where Alcohol is just a "drink" and it has consumed me. It is time for me to stop again, this time for good and I couldn't be more excited.
Yesterday was day 1, and wow - I was exhausted. Much different this time around. I started my cravings around 10AM and battled through them. around noon I took a quick nap only to battle some more all afternoon. By the time I ate dinner around 5PM, I went upstairs for another nap and fell asleep until this morning at 8AM!!!!! that's almost 14 hours (unheard of), thank god my wife just let me be but how odd is that???? I also had crazy nightmares waking up periodically in a sweat. I'm going through my Day 2 cravings as I write, and no doubt I'll be exhausted again this evening, but I am so happy to make through to Day 2, that I will be even happier on Day 3.
Tour #2 has so far been much harder, and probably because of my need for alcohol in the system. I'm not sure what to expect, but I'll def be hanging out on this site 24/7 for the next month (except when I sleep).
Incidentally, has anyone else experienced these crazy nightmares/dreams? and if so, what's the typical timeline before they subside?
thx for listening.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Yes, to the crazy dreams which shouldn't last too long.
And, yes to the fact that each time I tried to quit was more and more difficult. It truly is a progressive disease.
I'm glad you have decided to stop drinking.
And, yes to the fact that each time I tried to quit was more and more difficult. It truly is a progressive disease.
I'm glad you have decided to stop drinking.
I will NOT drink to that!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Baltimore MD USA
Posts: 634
Welcome to SR!!! It seems like you are on the right track. Keep coming back too!
I never had the wierd dreams in my first days of sobriety. What's crazy is that I barely had any immediate withdrawal symptoms but now that I am nearing 90 days I am experiencing what they call Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms (PAWS). That's what I have been dealing with lately.
I never had the wierd dreams in my first days of sobriety. What's crazy is that I barely had any immediate withdrawal symptoms but now that I am nearing 90 days I am experiencing what they call Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms (PAWS). That's what I have been dealing with lately.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back Joe. As you probably know from reading here, your story is a very familiar one. It ( addiction ) almost always catches up with us. But as you also probably know from reading here, those that fully accept their fate as an addict and take the necessary action can absolutely overcome it. It seems as though you are very much on the right path with the acceptance/motivation part. And having a good year of sobriety under your belt recently definitely won't hurt either. Stay close...you now know what happens when you don't.
Regarding the dreams, i had them too...I didn't sleep much at all the first 4 or 5 days. But they definitely decreased in severity and regularity after a bit.
Regarding the dreams, i had them too...I didn't sleep much at all the first 4 or 5 days. But they definitely decreased in severity and regularity after a bit.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
Regarding the dreams, i had them too...I didn't sleep much at all the first 4 or 5 days. But they definitely decreased in severity and regularity after a bit.
Also, I am not an "AA" type of guy, I could never do it (No offense intended for others where this might work or is needed). SR worked wonders for me the first time, and now with the idiotic decision I had post-1-year sobriety last attempt, I am better armed for such a poor decision this time. Onwards and upwards!!
Back to club sodas with a twist of lime!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
