Jodie77

He doesn't have a FB account but his friends do, and he is tagged in pictures kissing another woman (she is beautiful) 2 weekends in a row. People are posting "bravo!" under their pic. I am not on FB but my friends are and showed me.

I got dumped after 5 years and he moves on that fast? I cannot put into words the level of pain I am in. Lord help me.

suki44883

Please tell your "friends" to stop showing you that crap. You are well rid of him but you won't start to recover until you stop keeping up with what he's doing.

LemonGirl

Yep..... And he'll do it to her too! Your pain will pass hun, and soon you'll be feeling sorry for her, and nothing for him except "he made his own bed, and now he has to lay in it!"

Please allow yourself to grieve so you can let it go... Do what is going to get YOU well. His behavior is only adding to the dark hole that exists in his heart. His problem. Not yours.

ladyscribbler

I was with my ex for five years. He got married a couple of months after I left.
Crummy as it feels, it really isn't about you. He hasn't changed, except that his addiction is still progressing. All the mental health issues he had are still there. This new relationship is just another way of self-medicating. It will eventually implode just like everything else in his life. Right now is the honeymoon period. You know what comes after that. The criticism, the verbal and emotional abuse, the emotional yo-yo you endured.
Also agree with Suki. Tell your friends that you don't want to hear it. That's pretty crappy and immature behavior on their part.

Jupiters

100%.
I don't know if your "friends" are showing you this to help you forget him?? Not sure what the motives are, either way, it isn't going to help you move on and forget him.
Trust me, this poor woman will find out quickly enough what a winner she has. He has done you a favour, and a whopper of one at that.
I know you don't see/feel it yet - but you will. Oh you will.
*hugs*

hopeful4

Lady Karma is a B, she will find him eventually. Focus on YOU. Tell your friends not to show you that crap and be glad he is no longer in your life, you deserve more!

freetosmile

I know it hurts but just know that he will do the EXACT same thing to her. HE isn't changing, but YOU are Jodie!! Seriously, I know rejection sucks sooooo bad and I am sooo sorry you are feeling that.

you're friends aren't being very helpful if they are showing you this crap!! Please be good to yourself and tell them to quit showing you and if they offer, just say no!! This isn't what you need now! You are doing so well lately. And you will continue to do so.

he is not going to change, but YOU are. Would you really want him back now anyway?

Spacegoat

^ This. And whatever you do, dont drink about it.

Anyone who does that to someone is an assh*t.

Don't keep in contact or actively think about it...

tomsteve

It's gotta be difficult and maybe think about a couple things:
He moved on that fast....I'm thinkin yer a very lucky woman, Since he's doing that, to not have him around any more. Seems pretty emotionally immature to act that way.

You may want to reevaluate the status of your friends. " friends" that know what yet going through and then show you that crap are also,IMO, emotionally immature.

Suggestion and seems to work for me:
At this time keep sayin
Not my monkey
Not my circus

And since ya say Lord help me.....talk to God,too.

Jodie77

I'm never going to get over this. I don't have words to put on paper to describe the absolute devastation and heartache I am feeling.. I would rather be dead

Jupiters

I know you FEEL that way RIGHT NOW.
But trust me. You WILL get over it.
I know you don't want to hear that or you cannot wrap your head around it...been there.
You will move on. You will be happier. Rather be dead? Really? Vs. what? stuck in a miserable relationship with someone that clearly didn't respect you. Don't give him that. He isn't worth it.
Keep on keeping on for YOU!!!!

Hawkeye13

I'm sorry you are feeling that way.
Have you considered grief counseling or some intensive therapy for the next few months?
It might really help with processing all of this if it is too much for you right now.

Jodie77

This is way too much. I found out the back story. They've been talking behind my back and he left me for her. I am legit shell shocked right now.

I do not know how I'm going to cope

Hawks

Ya know the saying in AA about the supposedly wonderful new women that alchies go to.

"a drink on two legs "

Just another feel good thing.

Sick attracts sick though, so she's quite as mad as he is.

She knows he is alchie (deep down) , she knows he just got out of a marriage and she's right in the firing line anyway.

That's not the hallmark of a "well" person

Hang in there

SparkleKitty

You're going to get through this, Jodie. I promise. I have felt the exact same feelings of devastation and being blind-sided, and I survived. I didn't know how I was going to cope, but I found ways. Please keep posting. I am sorry I can't remember if you have a therapist or counselor but if you don't, please find one as soon as possible. Face to face individual support is invaluable at a time like this. You are in crisis mode, operating at a sustained, intense level of feeling, and you need personalized, individual help to navigate it.

You won't believe how the world can open up on the other side of grief like this. But you have to hang in there awhile longer.

Dojang

Jodie, my ex actually texted me a pic of him having sex with another woman. A full on porn pic. It hurt, a lot. I truly loved him & thought I would NEVER recover from the pain. It's been 4.5 months & I did recover. I have worked a lot on myself and it's really paid off. I do know how you feel & just how painful this is. Work through the pain. I did, and I feel great now. If I can get through it, you can too. Hugs!!

Jupiters

sorry if it was another poster - but isn't this the guy who left his wife after a 3rd kid for some broad he met in Miami?

Jupiters

Do you have any friends/family near you? (not the friends who are shoving FB in your face)
anyone?
I know you're crushed right now. I hope that you have someone close that you can confide in and talk to.
So hard to see the light at the end of this very dark tunnel (so it seems right now)...but it will get light again. hell, it'll get blinding light again.

tomsteve

A lil harsh maybe but I'm gonnna type it as easy as I can and I'm not meaning it to Read harsh-
With an attitude of " I'm never going to get over this"
You won't.
When I got sober if I thought,"I won't ever be able to do this"
I wouldnt have.

When I was diagnosed with cancer if I thought," I'm never going to be able to fight this."
I wouldn't have and I'd be dead today.

But I didn't allow myself to think that way.
I'm here 4 years longer than my oncologist thought I'd be.
And I'm still sober!!!!!


A bad attitude is like a flat tire.
If I don't change it it will never go away.


PLEASE change your attitude!!!!

Sungrl

Jodie, You do not wish you would rather be dead.

Think about that and what you are truly saying.

Relationships fail a lot and people get hurt. That is life.

Not in any way to diminish your pain. I have had broken hearts too.
Everyone has.

take the time you need to process this, go through all the emotions that go with it and pick yourself up and move on.

Dead is a pretty permanent solution. You will fell silly for saying such a thing in a few months. Unless.....you keep moving backward and wanting explanations you will probably never get. Time to let go.