helpimalive

What happens when you conclude

A) you absolutely are an alcoholic

B) alcohol is absolutely going to destroy you if you don't stop

And C) you don't have what it takes to stop; some people do, but you're not one of them

D) you're just going to live and die like this; you're beat

What then?

Dee74

I should be the poster boy for 'not what it takes' - I was drinking all day everyday for 5 years and a good 10-15 years binging behind that.

I'm celebrating 8 years soon. It really is possible - for anyone

What things have you tried helpimalive?

D

suki44883

You're not beat unless you stop fighting. You DO have what it takes to stop drinking, but most of us can't do it alone. Most of us need help. Whether that help comes in the way of therapy, AA meetings, AVRT, or some other face-to-face support, it is imperative that you have support.

You will have to change your life in some (or many) ways, but if you want sobriety badly enough, then you can have it.

Anna

You must not give up. You must continue to try to stop drinking. Don't give in to the disease. What have you tried? What can you do differently?

helpimalive

I've tried AA (I actually really like a lot of their message, I'm just not strong enough to rise to it), and I've tried just therapy and healthy living (exercise, nutrition, sleep cycles, all that). I've tried them together and I've tried them separately. I've read literature from AVRT and concluded it is decidedly not for me. I've tried just coming on here, and staying away from triggers, too ... That attempt was more than a year ago and I had a different username which I never did remember, which is why I'm not using it anymore. That got me a week, I think.

Nothing has worked for very long at all. And every time a concerted effort fails I can't bring myself to believe in hope for long enough to try again (or to be desperate to try again?) for, like, three or four months.

I just don't think I have the stuff. Some of us die. I don't want to be that person but I sure feel like I'm qualified.

mns1

Don't find out what happens helpimalive. Don't come to that conclusion.

What are your strengths? And how can you use them to gain the upper hand?

Name them.

Then get up and grab this by the throat!

ScottFromWI

You find a new conclusion...because your reasoning is flawed. Point C is false because everyone has what it takes to quit. You are correct that some do die from drinking, but it is not inevitable. If what you tried has not worked, try something else. '

helpimalive

You really think everyone has what it takes? You don't think some people just happen to be both alcoholic, and also too weak to ever beat that?

... She asked with embarrassingly obvious desperation.

Dee74

I really needed to make some pretty fundamental changes in my life - not only who I hung with and the places I hung around, but also the ways I dealt with stress, or sadness or fear or elation...basically a whole grab bag of emotions.

Everyone needs help with that - but the important part of support is learning to reach out and asking for help when you need it.

Have you ever tried a 'Class of' Thread or committed to the 24 hour thread? Those are some great ways to find support and use it

D

Dee74

I believe everyone has what it takes - noone could have been weaker or more pathetic than I was, believe me.

Sadly, tho, some people let themselves be convinced they don't have what it takes.

Don't be in that group.

D

sugarbear1

I was like you, but this last time, I knew it was die an alcoholic death (slow and painful) or try something different.

I worked those 12 steps and my life has been saved and changed. Working on 3 years and 8 months now....

You CAN stay stopped, too!!

ScottFromWI

I don't think it, I know it. People overcome amazing odds from all walks of life. You have the power to quit just as you have the power to make a choice to drink.

SoberLeigh

I, too, believe that everyone has what it takes and that no one is too weak to beat alcoholism.

You have to want it and be willing to work really hard for it.

Ready, helpimalive????????

helpimalive

Yeah, I want it.

No, I don't think I am ready to work really hard for it. I think I'm ready to go ahead and die instead of that. That's what I'm qualified for. I've never worked hard in my life. I don't know how to start. I'm a bit spoiled.

The problem is the part of me that wishes that was otherwise. I'm divided. Why couldn't I just be committed to going ahead with things, or else committed to quitting?

How's that for proof some people just aren't strong enough.

I'm sorry to be an obvious brat.

mns1

You can count me as another person who knows that everyone has what it takes. But a lot of people see every little shortcoming as the final verdict on their abilities. It doesn't matter how many times you've come up short, or how many people have told you you're not good enough.

You can choose to say, "To hell with all of that! I know what I'm worth."

If I can do it these guys can do everyone can do it and YOU can do it

None us would be here trying to convince you of this if you weren't worth it.

You are.

Ultramarathoner

I'm not concerned about 'everyone' right now.

Your courage in posting shows me that you have what it takes.

I'm not the best person to offer advice since my path is pretty untraditional- but there are a bunch of really bright folks here with a variety of backgrounds, approaches, and success. Take advantage of their insight.

Thanks for reaching out!

helpimalive

I've been in two classes

Ha ...

November, and one earlier in the year with the aforementioned earlier username I've now forgotten entirely (because my life is a ******* blur). I think it was march. Or may. Anyway. Sorry. Like a said, life's a blur.

And I'm about to make a change, that's for sure. I posted last night about how my whole world will be different next month. No more independence, no more job, no more friends, no more boyfriend, no more Florida. Instead, Texas, spending quality time with my younger sister, getting bills paid by my parents, living in moms guest room, cooking the food for my moms household (I'm the only cook in the immediate fam), and figuring out what masters degree I want so I can start a new career and eventually applying for it; my dad will pay.

Lots of blessings, lots of people who love me, and ...

lots of free time to drink. Lots of people who won't even for a second believe I have a problem, but will give me money if I ask for it.

That shall be my new life. I need it to be one where I don't drink. I feel like this whole thing could like, really really go either way? Really good! Or really bad.

I'm the only one who knows how precariously I'm situated, finally giving into the fact that my family has money and I don't have to do the whole independence thing.

That's why I'm back on here. I can move across the country and still post on here, lol.

I just don't know how to ensure it, that it's a good change instead of a bad one.

In fact I feel so sure it will be a bad one. I just don't know anything else.

SoberLeigh

You are not being a brat; addiction has you in its claws. I don't think that you really want to stay there.

MyShadow

I say its because you've believed a lie. The same lie we have all believed about alcohol. You have the strength, it doesn't feel like it now, but if I have it, so do you. That's why you and I are here, looking for help.

Prayers to you, for strength and confidence.

gypsytears

If you couldn't do it you wouldn't be here. You have what it takes. Keep at it.