scaredofchange

Besides feeling like I got hit by a bus, I am so ashamed and embarrassed by how I acted last night when I slipped up and got hammered. In a way I wish this feeling wouldn't go away 100% because I know when it does, I'll talk myself into drinking. And I will probably drink, just a couple and be fine. Maybe I'll do that once or twice a week and think all is swell. Then, bam! One night I drink too much and do things that aren't true to myself!!! Ugh

Just talking out loud. Thanks for reading. 😕

Soberwolf

Dust yourself off think of things to strenghten your sobriety what could you add to your sober plan

Findingtheway

May seem odd...But I've found my slips back to drinking have actually STRENGTHENED my resolve. It's forced me review...How did that happen? Why did that happen? How can i avoid that from happening again?

Recovery is the hardest thing i've ever tried, and YES i have slipped and fallen a few times. But the sober days are outweighing the non sober days.

I'm committed to sobriety. Don't allow yourself to stay in the self-pity/self-hate state. That leads to resentment of yourself (At least in my experience.)

Resentment can lead you back to drinking. It has for me a few times.

I'm learning as i go. Take it a day at a time. Don't drink TODAY.

upminer

My last drunk night still plays in my head every time a drinking thought comes to mind some 77 days later.... It is truly the thing that keeps me right.

scaredofchange

You guys rock! Thanks

PurpleKnight

This thread is saved on SR to refer to at a later date!!

So use that resource and check out your past threads on a weekly basis as a healthy reminder!!

Wholesome

My last drunk horrified me too! I literally gasped myself awake in horror and spent the day having flashbacks and feeling like I was going to jump right out of my skin. The shame and guilt was immense and crippling. I never want to be in that place again. Shudder. It's good to remember where you were but it's better to look forward and create a new life where such occurrences and behaviours have no place.

scaredofchange

Anna

I remember being caught up in that downward spiral. I would drink one day, maybe two and it would be fine, but then Day 3 would be through the roof. And, I felt like I never saw it coming. But, of course I did. Maybe I didn't know when, but I knew it would happen. Stopping drinking is really such a relief.

Justincredible

Cant really add anymore that anyone hasn't already nailed but I know the feeling!

Btw, I like your avatar. Don't know what it is but its pleasing to my eye.

scaredofchange

Thanks! It's a tree blowing in the wind. Represents my battle with booze. It'll try and take me down but I'll bend with weight of it all, stay strong and grow!

Charlie117926

Your not alone. Don't lose site of what you just wrote and described. Keep your determination front and center!

Soberwolf

Youl find so much support here Scaredofchange

like your analogy with the tree

mns1

Just repeat this to yourself whenever you get an urge!

least

I hope this can be your last day one.

Ruby2

It's amazing how when we are feeling the slightest bit better we forget the misery, pain and embarrassment from our last outing and repeat ourselves. I did it a lot. Dust yourself off and hang out here for the weekend. You can do it.

scaredofchange

Ya'll are great!

Creekryder

My last drink seems so far away now. I seldom think of drinking now, and if I do think of alcohol, it is in a passive sense. No desire to partake in the craythur for this Irishman! I hope you reach that point soon as well.