chantylc

I think about him 24/7 - we had a conversation that he needs to work on himself and then he said he will come back to me?! SHOULD I WAIT?

Then I see him on his social media webpages making comments that he is excited for the weekend!

Breaks my heart. Should I text him and let him know that I will no longer wait for him, because at this point I am so angry I just want to go off on him.

lillamy

It's totally up to you what you want to do.
If you're done with the relationship, I would not contact him. I would also block him on all social media.

kris101231

Hi C -

You are right. We are in very similar situations. My exbf told me that "the problem isn't us. it isn't you. i'm just not happy and i need to work on myself." It was then that he suggested time apart so he could "have time to think." I did not appreciate this as I feel like in a healthy relationship you work through problems together, not pushing your significant other apart. How old is your boyfriend? My ex told his mom he planned to keep up this lifestyle for a few more years…

Like you, I told him that if he wanted time apart then we should go on an official break. He was not happy about this and said forget everything - this wasn't a good idea. But here we are a few weeks later broken up and I have heard nothing from him. In my situation, his time apart is really just hanging out with his friends (obviously drinking) and going out at night.

NerdlyBeauty

Hi, Chantylc. Welcome to SR. I agree with lillamy. If you want to save yourself a lot of grief, I would recommend blocking him from all of your social media accounts. You are going to end up seeing a lot of things that will cause you pain if you don't. You also need to ask yourself: is he worth waiting for? Maybe you should go completely no-contact, and see what happens. Live your own life, and do things that make YOU happy. If he comes back and he's healthy, great. If not...well, you just saved yourself a lot of heart break. Just some advice from someone with a lot of experience on this matter

chantylc

kris101231-

THis is exactly how I feel. He told me he still is going to go out with his friends, despite the face that his friends doesnt know anything about his addiction. He always put this "front" around his friends that he has the best life ever, but really he is suffering. We are both 29 years old.

He also told me that he needs to work on himself so that "when" he gets better we will get back together. BUT I AM NOT WAITING anymore!

Our ex bfs are completely the same. Mine said that "he needs to go out" shows me he is NEVER going to get better.

chantylc

NerdlyBeauty -

I am struggling right now and fighting the urge to call him and just want to be back in his life. I know its not right, but I feel I have to be there for him.

atalose

I would suggest you work on you so that you are never the lady in waiting for some guy to make up his mind if he wants or doesn’t want you in life.

There is nothing to “close” he’s done that already, said what he had to say to you. You telling him you are NOT going to wait around for him aren’t going to change what he does or doesn’t do at this point.

Take control over your life instead of putting it in addict’s hands and block him on your phone and all social media then move on and find happiness.

It’s hurts when relationships end but it hurts far more holding onto what doesn’t want to be held.