Charlie117926

I just cant seem to get it right. I did so well through December and this month and last night opened the door to hell again.

I don't even know why I did it. One turned into 14 in less than 3 hours.

I want to apologize to all of those I try to encourage and tell them "they can do this" and I cant even do it. Hypocrite is the only word I can see when looking in the mirror.

Had a plan. Had security in all the right places...and it did me no good.

I wasn't even going to post this, but one thing I have learned through this process is honesty, so here it is.

Jupiters

you don't owe anyone and apology here Charlie!
we've all been there.

LBrain

Charlie, no need to apologize. You are living proof of how difficult this can be. The important thing is that you shared it - your own shame.
AND, that you came here acknowledging it and that you are still not giving up.

Don't give up. Never give up.

mns1

Charlie you have nothing to apologize for. In fact we are thankful that you posted. It shows that you haven't given up hope!

Setbacks like this are opportunites. Don't ask what it says about you, ask what you can learn from it. If your current plan isn't working, think about what you can do to improve it.

We got your back man you're gonna figure this out

Anna

Charlie, it's good that you had a plan, and hopefully you can tweak it a bit so that it does work next time.

The main thing is that you're back and working on your recovery again.

Foolsgold186

Dont be so hard on yourself! Most of us have been where you are.

Start again! You CAN do it.

Wishing you well.

JT0626

Charlie,

Thank you for sharing with us & being honest. That right there tells me that you do want sobriety. You made a mistake, we all have before.....start today at day 1. Dust yourself off, you are in good company.

((hugs))

airwick

Charlie:

Honesty is something I value so highly. I can't even imagine what I would have done in your situation. I'm not sure if I would have the courage to publically post. I would privately post to a member that I never even corresponded with . I know I would have to tell someone! You can STILL do it!

It takes a lot of guts, so that I congratulate you for.

Have a great day!

ardy

charlie Honesty is always the best policy... trust me on that... and keep trying do not stop... when you are temped go to a mirror and have that conversation with yourself. get tough if you have to hey Dummy What are you Thinking... mmmm...
I do that all the time use my maiden name Look Quilling fess up will you.. what a mess.. and now you are going to do what ... fffftt I don't think so kid ... what your not listening.. hey I am Talking Quilling listen and remember this will not fix athing just make it worse.. ah so it works about 99% of the time.. talk myself out of the drink or whatever.. really... hugs and prayers and a punch in the arm for being a good Bean...

matilda123

I, too, appreciate you posting, Charlie. These posts help all of us as much as the ones that say we can do it. Beyond that (and more importantly) it helps you. Sending you healing thoughts today.

Jsbodhi

Hey Charlie,

Don't beat yourself up!
This happens to us, we're alcoholics, just keep going xoxo

P.S. I know the self loathing tape playing on repeat in your head right now, but it'll go away.

Fly N Buy

Charlie,

I reference this thread fairly often for people I care about who struggle. If you haven't read it, maybe consider. It has over 500,000 views. Read about the effects of kindling -

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lly-again.html


Have you tried any live f2f support?
Kind Regards,
FlyN

Soberwolf

Hi Charlie in the future its a really good idea to phone someone who understands it really helps in the early days

Dont beat yourself up dust yourself down think of things to add to your sober plan

Good luck bud

MyTime86

We all have failed, it's hurts to fail.
But failing is what helps us learn how to succeed. your ok, don't give up.
You will get it right

Findingtheway

In my experience...(And i have fallen multiple times back to drinking...)

If you can say the words : I want to STOP drinking! And with your heart mean it.

Then in my book you are moving in the right direction.

Each time i have started drinking again...I could see it was BAD news just around the corner. I've managed to stop relatively quick each time.

To alcohol i say : NO MORE!

leviathan

agree with all the above. you didnt run away. its just a setback.

hey Flynby, good link! -i believe that whole-heartedly. the moderation thing is more of a pain than anything, and dangerous to drunks that dont want to be drunks anymore.

i dont want a beer. i want 8! or 12! -and i want to be able to fix my hangover in the morning! there really is no going back to "one with dinner". -not that i ever really did that... LOL!

PurpleKnight

Main thing is you're back posting!! Never give up Charlie!!

SoberLeigh

Thanks for posting, Charlie, and for your honesty.

You CAN do it, Charlie. You HAVE done it and you WILL again.

Shore up the holes in your plan and start again.

Bailey3

Your not a hypocrite, your human. Your post shows integrity and, thats an admirable quality. All you have to do is try again.

headcase1

Thanks Charlie,Your post is an excellent reminder to me about how quickly it happens.