2nd time around
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: corpus christi
Posts: 2
2nd time around
Hello kind folks, well this is my second try at sobriety. I successfully quit for 11 months then things got really bad at home and anxiety stress and family situations pushed me too far and I fell off the wagon. Now I have been on some serious benders and I feel it killing me. My kidneys are burning, liver is swollen, whole body sore. I have the worst brain fog. I cant seen to remember things I have known for the longest time. Insomnia is maddening. I feel so hopelessly compelled to drink so much for so many days straight that I stop eating and sleeping and am just so sick for days at a time. I am taking care of my elderly grandfather who has stage 4 cancer and is getting a little senile and most likely doesn't have much time left. Its taking a huge toll on me. The past two years have been the most difficult of my life. I have lost all my ability to be happy when im not drinking. I dont have any motivation to do any of the things I love anymore. It just seems so impossible to get on track in this moment. Please help me find some solutions. Your my only hope.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
I'm sorry to hear of your difficult conditions. You made it eleven months and that's great.
You'll find lots of support here.
I've been sober for four years, and the situations that used to baffle me I can now handle.
I, too, went on binges where I wouldn't sleep nor eat. I remember some of these binges being so bad I was afraid to stop drinking because I knew what awaited me.
Fear, anxiety and remorse. Bad. I drank like that for ten years and the drinking had long ago ceased to be fun.
My life was a nightmare of confusion and anxiety. I could accomplish nothing.
I would recommend seeing a doctor about your health problems. Be brutally honest.
You had eleven months sober, you can do it again. Just remember you never have to take another drink or go through the vicious hangovers again.
I'm glad you found this place. So welcome and post as often as you need to.
You'll find lots of support here.
I've been sober for four years, and the situations that used to baffle me I can now handle.
I, too, went on binges where I wouldn't sleep nor eat. I remember some of these binges being so bad I was afraid to stop drinking because I knew what awaited me.
Fear, anxiety and remorse. Bad. I drank like that for ten years and the drinking had long ago ceased to be fun.
My life was a nightmare of confusion and anxiety. I could accomplish nothing.
I would recommend seeing a doctor about your health problems. Be brutally honest.
You had eleven months sober, you can do it again. Just remember you never have to take another drink or go through the vicious hangovers again.
I'm glad you found this place. So welcome and post as often as you need to.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and welcome.
What you describe is fairly common in the lives of alcoholics. Getting sober again is a huge drain on us so perhaps a different path might be advisable. Seeing your doctor and being honest is a starter. Perhaps a detox and rehab would help. It’s indicated that sobering up with a bunch of AA meetings could easily help if getting sober is a real goal as opposed to “getting out of this one” which is the bottom line for too many.
It gets down to being honest with ourself about our drinking and then accepting the fact that we cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row in safety.
BE WELL
What you describe is fairly common in the lives of alcoholics. Getting sober again is a huge drain on us so perhaps a different path might be advisable. Seeing your doctor and being honest is a starter. Perhaps a detox and rehab would help. It’s indicated that sobering up with a bunch of AA meetings could easily help if getting sober is a real goal as opposed to “getting out of this one” which is the bottom line for too many.
It gets down to being honest with ourself about our drinking and then accepting the fact that we cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row in safety.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,855
Welcome to SR, JoeAmerican. Well done on your 11 months of sobriety; sorry to hear that life became unbearable and that you were unable to maintain sobriety.
Have you actually stopped drinking yet? Have you spoken with your doctor about your drinking and your plans to stop? Do you think you may need a medically supervised detox?
It is quite admirable that you are caring for your elderly grandfather. Caring for an elderly loved one is both extremely rewarding and incredibly challenging. Do you have any support in that endeavor?
Have you actually stopped drinking yet? Have you spoken with your doctor about your drinking and your plans to stop? Do you think you may need a medically supervised detox?
It is quite admirable that you are caring for your elderly grandfather. Caring for an elderly loved one is both extremely rewarding and incredibly challenging. Do you have any support in that endeavor?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: corpus christi
Posts: 2
My last drink was on Saturday. I am just still really sick. I managed to sleep three hours last night but still feel very Ill. Unfortunately I don't have much of anything in the way of support as far as my health care or help with my grandfather is concerned. Mental Illness and alcoholism plagues most all of my family. My brother who Is the only one I can count on moved to a different city for a job. Since then I been doing everything solely on my own. Right now my battle is just stay sober today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,855
The Office on Aging in your area may be able to give you some information on free available services for your grandfather.
Have you thought about going to the ER for help with detox symptoms; I don't think that they can turn you down for lack of insurance.
Have you thought about going to the ER for help with detox symptoms; I don't think that they can turn you down for lack of insurance.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi Joe - welcome! 
There are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?
http://www.needymeds.org/free_clinics.taf
2-1-1 Call Center Search
D
There are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?
http://www.needymeds.org/free_clinics.taf
The 12995 clinics in this database are free, low cost, low cost with a sliding scale based on income, or offer some type of financial assistance.
2-1-1 provides free and confidential information and referral. Call 2-1-1 for help with food, housing, employment, health care, counseling and more. Learn more about your local 2-1-1 by looking it up here.
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