itstheone

I am starting my 4th month. Been a looong time coming! I do find myself constantly thinking about drinking? Not urges per set but the whole in general? Like my thoughts are in some way consumed and ruminate?

Will this some day subside? I know I will always have vigilence but constant? Any advise on this?

Soberwolf

Itstheone well done on 4 months sober everybody is diffrent with mental cravings

have you spoke with an addiction counsellor ?

sugarbear1

I used the 12 steps, not a craving since.

everyone is different

what are you going to do to address this?

itstheone

I have good support...just can't seem to not think about my drinking life...its soon strange. Its not an urge I am trying to fight, just a tape that keeps playing of everything drinking and non drinking related..I want to think and worry like a more normal person..lol..ugh!!

PurpleKnight

It took me a year to finally cement being a "non drinker", experiencing a whole year Sober, Xmas, New Years, birthdays, weddings, funerals, my birthday, going through everything in a year without alcohol finally pushed alcohol to the kerb!!

Hang in there!! It will get better!!

Dee74

I found making changes to my life really helped.
My old life was all about drinking...my new life needed to reflect the new me?

what are some of the other changes you've made besides just not drinking, itstheone?
D

itstheone

Omg...numerous. I am way more involved with kids, work, gym now, attending groups, and generally doing things socially like never before. I wonder if I just have too much newness in this life where the new harvested non drinking thoughts and world are not yet established? Its a little exposed feeling and notice the rumination is way worse during high stress..

itstheone

I would appreciate any suggestions. Thank you

liv1ce

You are obsessing. There is a part of you that is not all in on this quitting drinking thing and it is niggling at you and your brain in turn is focusing on it. Tell that voice NO! and put it away. Think through what will happen if you drink. Does it take you somewhere you want to be? Remember the feelings and events that made you want to quit in the first place.

I have gone back a couple times and ended up exactly if not worse than I was before. Yet I can still have a thought that I will obsess upon.

I am more of an opiate guy who quit drinking years ago. Yet I still can romanticize about that warm buzz of the first couple drinks. If I let it go it can take over my thoughts and I can start to plan for some way that I can convince myself and others aware of my history that a drink or two can't be bad.

We are about to go on a cruise of the Caribbean for the first time. I ALWAYS thought that this was strictly an excuse to drink all day and thought if I ever went on one that I would take a hiatus from being sober - it would only be for a few days after all - and then I could get back on the wagon. I went a couple months with this thought going through my head until I became a large asssshole, saw what I was doing and put a stop to it. I am now going with a good attitude and will overeat I am sure.

mns1

Hi itstheone,

If I may ask, what made you decide to stop drinking and get sober?

itstheone

I quit because it was destroying every single thing in my life. Lost marriage, kids, respect and some freedom. I miss my crutch at times as it was the only thing I had but ended up to be what nearly ruined me. So I have to deal with it all straight and having to process mental anguish and all life day to day stuff just well....tuff x2! I didnt know drinking obsession would be problemsome and consuming in its own right...I want to move on and think of new things about life..seems simple I guess but I am working very hard!!

mns1

Is it possible you are trying to change too much at one time?

How can you tweak your recovery plan to dial back the stress?

upminer

that's how I started. I was going to quit drinking, quit all behaviors, blah blah blah and it ended up almost leading to relapse.... Once I focused on staying off alcohol and letting everything else fall as it may things got a lot easier

Mikie9

What thoughts are you having? It doesn't sound like you are missing being drunk, but more maybe that you are dealing with what has happened because of it? I was hit by sort of the same thing last month, so i will share part of my story, maybe it will help you, or someone else.

I would drink and smoke pot every night. Every. Single. Night. If I had some obligation I couldn't get out of, I was counting the seconds until I could get away.

My hardest thoughts when becoming sober were about how much time I had wasted, how much I had missed, how much I failed those I truly love.

I eventually came to the conclusion that I was STILL wasting time. There is nothing I can do about the past. All I can do is live now like I always wanted too. I mean, I finally get to be me now right? I finally am available to others, right? So why on earth did I spend any time thinking about the past?

Because I am new to sobriety as a lifestyle, and that takes a little bit of processing.

Anyways, hang in there man. Your mind will start to settle the more you talk about your thoughts. This is a good place to do so. It is safe, we all understand, and we are all on the same team with the same goal.

Chuck39

I have similar thoughts on this topic of never drinking again. I know it's more of a mental struggle than a physical craving at this point. I have social things coming up when the weather gets nice ... fishing with my dad and brothers, a much looked forward to wedding, my own 40th birthday, and it seems surreal to do these things without alcohol. Almost as if sobriety will ruin the occasion ... I know that's the AV talking but it nags at me when I am sitting thinking about things and making plans for the future. Just thought I would add my $0.02! Happy Monday.

Nofearnobeer

Me tooo , exact same thing....I had to get a whole lot stuff done with the house , a bunch of repairs...As I am going through with drill in hand, replacing blinds , running cables , repairing trim\moldings , it kept reoccurring to me that I always drank when working on the house , or when working on cars , or when doing yardwork...All that has changed , and my mind state is trying to get used to it ..

It's only been a little over 2 months sober , but the thoughts are still running rampid...

LBrain

ever see the fine print on remedies and such, one of the things they always seem to sneak in is: Results May Vary

It took me close to nine months before I started to see a difference in myself and attitude. One of the reasons was I stopped looking for it. At three months I was still foggy and not thinking very clearly. Give it time and try not to dwell on it too much. The change is gradual but one day you are going to wake up know things are different.

Dee74

I wasn't trying to rattle you itstheone...I was still living my old life...sitting on the couch and wondering why I felt so unfulfilled.

I'm glad you're active and have made what seems like a lot of changes

It may just be a question of time - I obsessed about drinking, then I obsessed about not drinking...then I stopped obsessing

D