sibilla86

Hi all
I've been trying to get clean again since a few days, but I have always relapsed. Today I feel like I'm ready to get clean again,I got rid of the dope I still had yesterday night. It hasn't been easy. I went to bed craving, I woke up craving, I'm craving even now. I'm going to a meeting today. I haven't been going to that group for a long time. I want to thank you all for your help, I wouldn't be doing this today if I hadn't had your help in the last few days.
Hugs to all
Irene

Dan

So just for today then Irene...
It's all we have to concentrate on.
Get this day in the books and go to sleep tonight clean and sober.
Tomorrow will take care of itself until tomorrow.
I wish you peace and courage.
Well done.

In memory of miracle

I remember what the first day was like for me . 5 minutes at a time was about all I could handle and sometimes it got down to 1 minute at a time , hang in there it will get better , its great that you are going to a meeting , wilingness is the key ..Thinking of you , sending prayers your way Believe that I believe ....Trish

Jhana

Dan you still amaze me. Oh I hope you never relapse. I am sitting here Sibilla, just hoping to make it through today, if for no other reason than to be able to really sleep tonight.

You are ahead of me; I had my last drink this morning. If I can ever kick this again, I pray all the awful experiences I have posted here remind me never to touch a drink again.

Good luck to both of us today,
Gianna

3legacy

(((((((Irene)))))))))
Still waiting for you in the chatroom.
Three Legs

sibilla86

Thank you all for your replies
I'm really glad to have found you
Irene

peace2u

Keep up the fight, Irene and Gianna! You're stronger than you know. Give that side of you a chance to show the weak side who's boss. You can do it!
You're not alone. All of us can do it together!

eveie

(((((((((((Irene)))))))))))))))))))))) love ya gal

wingsfree

Hi Irene....wishing you all the best on your recovery. Keep up the good fight, for FREEDOM.

KelKel

(((Irene)))
Little Baby steps girlfriend...

A meeting would be good.

Today with our love you can wake up sober tommorow.

sibilla86

I've just come back home from a meeting. I was scared about going at the beginning but I'm grateful I went. Thank you all for having given me the courage to do it.
Irene

KelKel

Irene....

Very glad you made it to a meeting.

Keep workin' it girl....

We are here for you.

In memory of miracle

Irene great ! Day one down !

Jhana

Hi Irene and all,

I didn't make it through yesterday, but I did drink less, and got more or less a regular night's sleep. Perhaps today is the day. Things in my life are becoming very critical and unless I take some control I will be paying a very big price.

Lead me on Irene,
Gianna

sibilla86

Hi Gianna and all
I didn't make it through yesterday too but I am here trying again.
Hugs to all
Irene

2stop

My heart aches for your struggles. Oh how I wish I could grab you up and rescue you from all the vicious cycles, all the falls and pAIN..NOT SO LONG AGO I STRUGGLED SO HARD, FELL AND RELAPSED AND STOOD BACK UP ONLY TO FALL DOWN AGAIN..BUT AS LONG AS YOU GET BACK UP AND ACTIVELY SEEK SOBRIETY I BELIEVE YOU WILL FIND IT!

A few minutes ago I was on the phone with my dad...all of a sudden he ask "Do you need a few pain pills?" Imediately and without hesitation I said..NO! No! No!...Don't even want to SEE them...THAT is a miracle for me...Not so long ago I would have tken one, then two...then down the road to hell I would go....hollering the whole time WHY do I FEEL so bad??? Why? Why? WHY? Finally I said...I WILL do WHATEVER it takes..take any pain..because at least there might be a chance I can make it by being abstinent, by faCING MYSELF SOBER.....I improvised for 'feeling' good, I faked it, I wrote in a journal, I cried and hollered and screamed..but I didn't use..and slowly I learned to adapt..I learned to find peace from within, found strength where before I thought I had none..and my thinking started clearing up...some fears vanished.....and that is basically how I overcome...how I live..improvising, adapting, overcoming. It is a daily process...cannot miss a day, a moment really, of conviction for my intent of being free.....but it works for me. I have you both in my prayers Sibilla and Gianna..and ALL of you. You CAN HEAL! There IS hope....we have to show up for it though..that was difficult for me..I had to stop saying 'perhaps" today is the day....that leaves me wide open to chance and whims of the moment..I had to BELIEVE I would make it...even if it meant faking it. No matter how bad the pain was.....drugs/alcohol will make it worse. I understand that knowledge of that doesn't make it any easier to DO...BUT it is possible, when we want it bad enough to GET IT!.......

I am praying for you..you CAN make it!!!!

((((((((((((((Warmest Hugs))))))))))))))))

angelwings

the last time i used was 2 days ago, and all i do is still think about it, i dont think that ever goes away, that demon in the back of your head saying why not? one last time is not going to make any difference. i went to go pick up last night and something spoke to me and i kept right on driving. irena and giana listen to that voice, there is someone leading your life, walking beside you, holding you in his arms when you feel like you cant go on anymore. he hears your cries, he knows your pain, he has felt it himself ten fold. he died on the cross so we could make mistakes and be forgiven, we are not perfect and he still loves us. everyone here loves you so much, and no matter how much you stumble, we will still be here, when you need to cry - let us listen, and when you fall we are here to pick you right back up, dust you off and give you a big hug and say i STILL love you, no matter what. no matter how many times you go back, noone is judging you and that feels pretty good. your sun is on its way to rising, let it rise.

love you
angelwings