beYOUtiful

Hello. I feel so blessed to have found this site. I have been married to AH for 14+ years. We have 6 children together. AH left our house Dec 1 after I confronted him about the drug dealer's number being in his call log (which I have now learned is not a good idea to torture myself with things of this nature!). Well, I think that was the best thing he could have done for me! Long story short...he overdosed on Aug 21 when I was 9 months pregnant with our last child. After that occurrence, my mom and step dad moved in with us to be there for me. He tells me he left because he knows he is not a good influence and he doesn't want our kids to be exposed to his behavior. I hope that some of that is true, but I am starting to realize that my parents being there made his status quo more difficult to maintain. I have started attending Al-Anon and reading posts on this forum. I am beginning to take baby steps and coming to accept that the behavior he exhibits is because he is an addict - so I'm teaching myself to not take it personal. It's a learning process. Last Sunday night, he texted me at work wanting $80 and went through all sorts of manipulation ploys to get me to give in and hand it over - vague suicide threats to "so you're going to make me go do something stupid." I am happy to say that I held my ground and told him that I could not give him money in good conscience - and I didn't. I was able to see how sick he really is - he hasn't given $ to support his kids in now 5 weeks and I am working and paying all the bills - only a truly sick individual would consider it appropriate to ask for $ in this situation. I am learning to set boundaries - it is hard. I accept the fact that I have been a codependent and enabler in our relationship, but I am determined to not do it anymore. He is still on my insurance at work - help is available if he wants it. He tells me he is calling a treatment center on Monday morning (that he called Friday and they did not have time for paperwork). I am being supportive - but from a distance. We've been down the rehab road before. I hope it goes well for him, but I have my doubts (he is staying with his grandparents who have been HUGE enablers all his life and I have a feeling grandma is "driving the boat" for this rehab stint...but that's a whole 'nother post and issue all together - and, honestly...let it be her problem, let her learn her own lesson and hit her own bottom like I've had to!) As for me...I'm just happy to be off the crazy train! Now my goal is to keep myself from being drug back on!

Hawkeye13

Sounds like you are on a solid, positive path.

Sending you support

irisgardens

you sound as if you are on a solid path to me as well. welcome to SR--you will find support here.

thequest

This site was/is a life saver for me as well. Learned ALOT. Things are much clearer paying attention to drug abuse and addiction at this level.