ANewDayNYC

My last attempt I gave it my all and it still wasn’t good enough. I don’t even feel like getting up again – in two weeks it will be the same story.

ScottFromWI

You can write the ending to the story however you like. Your AV/addiction would love for you to think that you'll go back to drinking in a couple weeks, and that's exactly what it's trying to do. See if for the BS that it really is though.

Perhaps it is not that you aren't trying hard enough, but that you aren't trying the right thing. You wouldn't be here posting if the desire to be sober wasnt inside you...harness it and start again.

JanieJ

Don't give up, ANewDay.

You are not worthless.

I know that feeling after many failed attempts, trust me, I've had many times of feeling like you do-many dark nights where I felt that I just could not ever get myself together.

I'm new to this too, so I can't give much advice, but please don't give up.

I understand that you gave it your all, but there was something missing from your plan.

Perhaps reaching out for more support might help ?

mns1

NewDay I know this sounds overly sentimental but it's when you least feel like getting up that you need to pull out all the stops. You need to look inside yourself and think real hard.

What piece of the puzzle is missing? What were you thinking, feeling, seeing, smelling, tasting when you drank again?

Giving it your all and coming up short doesn't mean that you aren't meant to succeed, it simply means you need to give it your all in another approach.

Keep trying we're in your corner. As long as you don't give up you are eventually going to find what works for you.

SoberLeigh

You are NOT worthless, ANewDay. That is your addiction talking.

You can do this. I agree with Scott that maybe you haven't tried the right thing yet.

Have you looked into RR and AVRT?

I'll send you a link.

SoberLeigh

Here is the link that I mentioned:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

Fly N Buy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_hZyzst6i0

Ghostlight1

It took me many attempts to quit drinking. The fourth day was the killer for me.
You're not worthless, you may just have a problem.
It took me a long time to become an alcoholic and it took me a long time to quit. But I never gave up. And I was a bad drunk.
Thinking that you'll drink again in two weeks is self-defeating. You're setting yourself up for failure.

How about I won't drink today? I'm four years sober and I live by that and the way you feel now. If I don't drink today, I'll not feel the worthlessness the next day.
I wish you the best. Getting a daily reprieve from a drink is possible. Getting better is possible.
Put the energy you put into imbibing and recovering into staying sober and you'll do well.

OklaBH

Honey you are not at all worthless! No one said this is an easy thing to do. It GETS easier but it doesnt start that way. Have you tried any face to face support?

ANewDayNYC

Thank you for the responses. After a drinking night, I will be able to have a strong commitment and stay away for 2 weeks or so and then it gets really difficult.

It feels harder getting up this time because last time I had everything on my side. I cut out all my drinking friends, built more of a support network, had the “2015 new year feeling” – and I still decided to go to a bar. After multiple attempts, I just don’t know how this new time will be any different. Just feel disappointed in myself.

There is a part of me that feels “Why Bother?”. However, that could just be the AV. I just feel lost.

Foolsgold186

It doesn't have to be the same story. You are in charge of your future.

You can do this!!

Nonsensical

What's the plan for when it gets difficult? Making one now is so much easier than trying to make one when it happens.

Next time I feel like drinking I will _______________ instead.

Then when it comes you say to yourself, OK, I knew this was going to happen, so now I'm going to _____________.

You can fill in the blank with one thing or fifty, whatever you think you'll need.

You can do this.

kittycat3

I feel worthless at times too NYC. You are not at all. You have another chance to get this right. So take it!

ANewDayNYC

Thank you for the support everyone – I want to continue to fight for my sobriety now. Will go to AA today and then stick close to SR.

mns1

Way to pick yourself up NewDay!

Your time will come. Get after it!

More power to you!

Soberwolf

Going AA is a very good idea NYC

Im sorry your feeling like this

Never stop trying bud

PurpleKnight

Never give up ANewDay!! You can do this!!

MIRecovery

I had failed too many times and I was desperate. I went IOP and AA. In the first year I went to 300+ meetings. I must have done something right because I'm still sober.

Thomas Edison said, "I've never failed. I just know a thousand ways not to do it."

You can do it. If one way doesn't work try another

strategery

AnewdayinNYC, you need to change how you're thinking about things. Think about how many sober days you have had and how much progress you have made with your sobriety. Almost all of us have had to try multiple times to get sober. It's a process. It takes time and effort, but you can do it!

Anna

You simply must not give up.

This disease is relentless and it will take everything from you.

You can do this and we can help.

What happened to make you relapse last time?