Yet.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 478
Yet.
I wrote this to hopefully illustrate the progression of alcoholism in a "high functioning" accomplished in career and community, marathon runner, long, long list of "look how great I ams"-- Well.....hmmm. Really?
20s: low tolerance
drinking in social group settings only
excellent career and lifestyle
NO: (not yet)
relationship issues
drinking at inappropriate times
hiding alcohol
"pre" drinking before going out
obsession over "will there be enough" etc.
missed work
missed responsibilities
social phobia
black outs
lying about drinking
drunk dialing
drunk emailing
Hiding alcohol
Health problems
really bad hangovers(like Cocaine comedowns)
drinking to escape a problem or feeling (only drank if all great)
Binge Drinking
anxiety
Panic Attacks
depression
tremors
sweating
benders-drinking all day for days or months at a time
cirrhosis
dementia or wet brain
DTs
seizures/heart attack
Impending Doom/Paranoia
Hallucinations
death
DUIs/ PIs nor any trouble with the law
YET
30s drinking escalates but still high functioning and successful
wine at home in the evenings
weight gain
Health: dx type II diabetes & HBP
obsession with alcohol (when is the next wine in the garden)
drinking at inappropriate times (kids, professional settings, etc.)
***Still doing fairly well considering the other people in the room who are obviously WELL into my list of "Not Yets" above.
40s missed responsibilities
regular black-outs
upgrade to Vodka and Wine
Hiding bottles (stuffing empties way down in kitchen trash)
SEVERE social phobia--agoraphobia
Severe anxiety
Depression
Panic attacks
(put on RX for these-said I would NEVER take RX)
Also, High Blood pressure back as well as High Blood Sugar
tremors
sweating profusely at awkward times
Binge Drinking like a 21 year old college kid
drunk dialing
drunk emails (and Facebook now)
daughter and husband not happy about consumption
50s....I am 46 now--so what could that possibly hold if this pattern were to continue? Here are the upcoming "Not Yets" I would get to look forward to.
benders-drinking all day for days or months at a time
cirrhosis
dementia or wet brain
DTs
Seizures or Heart Attack
Impending Doom/Paranoia
Hallucinations
Death
NO THANK YOU.
(note: I list DUI-never had one, but that was SHEER LUCK. I should've had many, so that's not even worth saying "never had one".)
Still, through all of this, I have maintained a pretty good façade. So I think. As far as you? If you are thinking I can't POSSIBLY be one of them, maybe not. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE PROGRESSION. And it's just not worth it to continue drinking just to see if I am right. I would also like to add I have had long sobriety stints (2 years my longest in 2010-2012)and STILL, most people would laugh in your face if you told them I was an alcoholic.
Just food for thought. I have notes from a library visit I made at age 23 researching alcoholism, and if I was on that road. I still have these notes, and that is what I have compiled above. There was a progression test. It's amazing how I added more check marks to the test over the years.
20s: low tolerance
drinking in social group settings only
excellent career and lifestyle
NO: (not yet)
relationship issues
drinking at inappropriate times
hiding alcohol
"pre" drinking before going out
obsession over "will there be enough" etc.
missed work
missed responsibilities
social phobia
black outs
lying about drinking
drunk dialing
drunk emailing
Hiding alcohol
Health problems
really bad hangovers(like Cocaine comedowns)
drinking to escape a problem or feeling (only drank if all great)
Binge Drinking
anxiety
Panic Attacks
depression
tremors
sweating
benders-drinking all day for days or months at a time
cirrhosis
dementia or wet brain
DTs
seizures/heart attack
Impending Doom/Paranoia
Hallucinations
death
DUIs/ PIs nor any trouble with the law
YET
30s drinking escalates but still high functioning and successful
wine at home in the evenings
weight gain
Health: dx type II diabetes & HBP
obsession with alcohol (when is the next wine in the garden)
drinking at inappropriate times (kids, professional settings, etc.)
***Still doing fairly well considering the other people in the room who are obviously WELL into my list of "Not Yets" above.
40s missed responsibilities
regular black-outs
upgrade to Vodka and Wine
Hiding bottles (stuffing empties way down in kitchen trash)
SEVERE social phobia--agoraphobia
Severe anxiety
Depression
Panic attacks
(put on RX for these-said I would NEVER take RX)
Also, High Blood pressure back as well as High Blood Sugar
tremors
sweating profusely at awkward times
Binge Drinking like a 21 year old college kid
drunk dialing
drunk emails (and Facebook now)
daughter and husband not happy about consumption
50s....I am 46 now--so what could that possibly hold if this pattern were to continue? Here are the upcoming "Not Yets" I would get to look forward to.
benders-drinking all day for days or months at a time
cirrhosis
dementia or wet brain
DTs
Seizures or Heart Attack
Impending Doom/Paranoia
Hallucinations
Death
NO THANK YOU.
(note: I list DUI-never had one, but that was SHEER LUCK. I should've had many, so that's not even worth saying "never had one".)
Still, through all of this, I have maintained a pretty good façade. So I think. As far as you? If you are thinking I can't POSSIBLY be one of them, maybe not. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE PROGRESSION. And it's just not worth it to continue drinking just to see if I am right. I would also like to add I have had long sobriety stints (2 years my longest in 2010-2012)and STILL, most people would laugh in your face if you told them I was an alcoholic.
Just food for thought. I have notes from a library visit I made at age 23 researching alcoholism, and if I was on that road. I still have these notes, and that is what I have compiled above. There was a progression test. It's amazing how I added more check marks to the test over the years.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
Excellent progression chart. The problem those who need it, beginners, have a built in quality of denial, not me, I’ll stop when….. and on and on.
They need to want sobriety and accept that we cannot drink alcohol in safety.
We cannot get anyone drunk or sober, it’s in their hands.
BE WELL
Excellent progression chart. The problem those who need it, beginners, have a built in quality of denial, not me, I’ll stop when….. and on and on.
They need to want sobriety and accept that we cannot drink alcohol in safety.
We cannot get anyone drunk or sober, it’s in their hands.
BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 478
Thanks, everyone. I wish I would've crafted the post with more clarity. I am not sure some "high bottom" Newcomers get a grasp on this--I know didn't. I believed I was stronger than that. Very eye opening to see how that progression list grew over the years. As far down that I got, I remained "high functioning" and if you asked anyone that knows me, they would say "no way, not her--she really has it together" HA. The part that scares me the most is the invisible line you eventually cross over....the one you can't come back from. No one knows when that will be in the progression chart. You wake up, you have wet brain, you're cooked. You wake up, you have Cirrhosis--your liver didn't even hurt! You were living life just fine! To me, this is the scariest part. It's like saying if you continue to drink, all may seem okay, but one day, you will find you have a terminal illness and a short time left to live. And you had absolutely no clue.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi -- very good summary. I've been through most of what you listed for 20's, 30's, and 40's, in my late 20's and throughout my 30's. Quit at 40, thank God. I plan to keep it this way permanently. It was good to read the later phases I had not experienced YET, as a reminder of what I will never want to know.
Thank you
Thank you
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