Mylaststraw

My husband never came home last night. He got off work at 6pm and his cell phone seemed shut off. He has dissappeared once before. He is using our only auto and I need to take one of the kids to the Dr. tomorrow. I called the local hospital and sheriff office and he is not there. Don't know what else I can do?

hopeful4

Ugh. I am so sorry. That stinks.

Can you report him missing? Do you know where he normally goes? Could someone help you check those places?

Tight hugsXXX

Jupiters

would he be at a co-workers place? a buddy? hotel?

Katchie

MLS, sorry to hear that. Why do they do such selfish things..ugh. I'll pray he turns up so you can take your kid to the doc tomorrow. If not, do you have a backup plan for the doc?

Mylaststraw

There is a seedy hotel strip that he sometimes hangs out at. I suspect there is more than just drinking going on at these times. The police stated that he has to be missing for at least a full 24hours before a report can even be made.

hopeful4

Well, that does not sound safe at all. If you go past there and have the keys, just take the car. You cannot get in trouble for taking your own vehicle. This is alarming addict behavior.

knowthetriggers

Mylaststraw - sending prayers your way. Be safe and I hope you or someone can find him soon.

FireSprite

Has he done this before?

Hammer

Outstanding Katchie.

On to the practical. A+

Since the kids are what matters . . . not so much the A . . . (right? I mean A's tend to be like Bumbles.* They can take care of themselves.)

And the kids need at least ONE sane parent . . . (that would be YOU, in the starring role), what is the Plan for getting the kiddo the doc?

===============

*Bumbles Bounce!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDFoEZfXDVk

amy55

Mls,

You said he did this before. Mine disappeared many times. I gave up even being concerned after the 4th disappearance. Mine headed down to Atlantic City.

Did you check your credit card? might give you a clue as to where he is.

The phone is turned off. Well that was done on purpose. (Someone shut it off)

Where did he say he disappeared to the last time he ran away from home?

If this isn't the case, then I am sorry that you are going through all of this worry. I'm sorry that he would put you through this worry.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))
amy

Timeiskey

Big hugs. I hope it all works out. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Gonnachange

Sorry to read about what you're going through. Do you know any of his buddies that may know his whereabouts? Someone mentioned your credit cards; even if you don't have online access you can call the company to find out if there are any recent charges.

SpouseRecovery

I am so sorry to hear about this. Unfortunately there is only one priority for him, and often, you and the kids are completely out of line of sight in times like these. My AH fortunately had one spot he went to, making it easy to locate him, and he's proved old habits die hard. I know it's easier said than done, but if there is a way you can go about what you need to do for you and your kids right now, do that and try to not to waste too much energy worrying about him right now. He obviously is not worrying about you. I have done it all before--checked his online bank account, our credit card, driven past where I knew he would be, and all it did was confirm my suspicions, but it didn't do anything to make me feel better.

SoberLeigh

(((mylaststraw))). I am sorry that this is happening.

Catherine628

Sorry you are going through this. My A used to pull disappearing acts too. I agree with all of Spouse Recovery's advice above.

I know it's extremely difficult to do but try to focus on you and the kids. I used to drive around looking for AH and it only increased my anxiety. I already knew what he was doing anyway.

changeneeded

Gosh, I had an ex bf that would do this with my car. I would borrow a car to drive around and look; Just like Catherine628.

This is awful news, and it is so hard to focus on anything when he is out either partying or missing.

Sending you (((hugs))) and prayers.

CodeJob

let go and let God.

Work on transport to the MD and let God deal with the AH.

The first time I really knew I was getting it was in his early recovery, My H insisted on driving his bike to catch my son and I at the last leg of our trip. There was a derecho storm possibility and I suggested he alter his plans. Nope. So that early evening it hit. It was not quite a derecho, but it was an absolute deluge and those TV storm chasers were all lined up and waiting for the twisters to fall from the sky on his route.

I got kid and I safely to hotel, we got cleaned up and got dinner then retreated back to the hotel as a second storm wave rolled through. That one never stopped. Constant rain and lightning. I fell asleep rather than worry and freak over my idiot H out in a motorcycle. Let go and let God. It was one of my first 100% times I just grasped that I had no control over the situation and stayed in my Hulu hoop enough to even sleep! Amen!

Hammer

CJ.

You have a pretty good Hula Hoop.

What does it look like?

It is one a multicolor or sparkly, light-up one?

Or Bright color(s)?

Or solid colors, go to work, dependable?

Whatever it is, I like it.

-----------------------------------

Mylaststraw -- maybe get a Hula Hoop?

You know about that?

CJ can probably explain it better than I can.

dandylion

There is an old saying that I have heard in recovery circles: "it is hard to loose an alcoholic".

dandylion

CodeJob

Eh Hammer me thinks Straw is a bit angry and not ready to hula hoop. She's angry and she's going to lash out this time. But I could be wrong. Of course, I've never really found my anger enough to fire at will. In a sense, I'm absolutely green with envy.

Sparkly. It is pink and sparkly.