I cant cope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 47
I cant cope
Almost a month, I have fallen badley, one glass of wine was all it took- turned into a bottle, I feel awful, on the floor, so pissed off at myself. I don't know what to do- my confidence has been so knocked, been through so much crap. I know this makes no sense at all, but I'm standing here crying, longing for an end to it all... I need help!!
Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Lexylou I understand it. I've been there and I know what it's like to doubt myself, feel defeated, wondering if I can really beat this thing.
But you have you dig deep down and pull out every thing you've got. You need to look inside yourself.
Can you remember what you were feeling when you drank?
But you have you dig deep down and pull out every thing you've got. You need to look inside yourself.
Can you remember what you were feeling when you drank?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 47
I feel in such a mess, thanks for the replies, my mind is too foggy to think straight, I don't cry often, but I'm sat here sobbing, I just can't do life at the moment... Gonna go to sleep and hope I feel better tomorrow! I have no idea what the answer is, but I know alcohol is not!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,364
Many many of us have faltered a time or two Lexylou - you fell, but you can get up again and get back on track 
Like others have suggested try and discern what led you back to that 'one glass', and then think about what other things you could add to what you've been doing to stay sober
D
Like others have suggested try and discern what led you back to that 'one glass', and then think about what other things you could add to what you've been doing to stay sober
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I relapsed many times before I was finally able to make it stick. Identify the triggers, avoid environments that will present temptations in the first few months, get support, eat well and exercise.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,524
Lexy - I'm glad you wanted to talk about it. You're among friends who understand how you're feeling.
I had 3 yrs. sober and convinced myself I could have a glass of wine. It led me back to a terrible place - and it took years to get back my sober life. (But I now have 7 yrs. sober.) You came here for help - you didn't let it turn into a binge. Be patient with yourself - let's try this again.
I had 3 yrs. sober and convinced myself I could have a glass of wine. It led me back to a terrible place - and it took years to get back my sober life. (But I now have 7 yrs. sober.) You came here for help - you didn't let it turn into a binge. Be patient with yourself - let's try this again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Newcastle, WA
Posts: 51
Lexy, I have cried many times at the end of one of those wretched bottles of wine, which used to be my specialty. I found SR after a couple days off, and I know I can't go back . I'm brand new here, and still scared, but I want to see others like you make it, too. Onwards and upwards, hun !
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 47
Thanks for all your input. Throughout my sober time I had started a new job and got feedback this week that I'm doing really really well I've been exercising, eating well and feeling confident.
Last night I went for dinner with an ex who contacted me a while back, we have been out twice before but I've made it dates that don't need to include drinking.
Last night we went for dinner, he made it clear that the reason we were out was just as friends. My confidence was shattered. As we sat having
dinner I was planning stopping and getting more wine. I already had a glass in the restaurant
I've woken up feeling like rubbish, tonight I'm meant to be out with a friend, although I offered to drive she has arranged is a lift so we can have drinks!! How do I do this sober thing still going out socialising and not drinking?? I'm trying so hard, do I just tell everyone??
I've been exercising, eating well and feeling confident.Last night I went for dinner with an ex who contacted me a while back, we have been out twice before but I've made it dates that don't need to include drinking.
Last night we went for dinner, he made it clear that the reason we were out was just as friends. My confidence was shattered. As we sat having
dinner I was planning stopping and getting more wine. I already had a glass in the restaurant
I've woken up feeling like rubbish, tonight I'm meant to be out with a friend, although I offered to drive she has arranged is a lift so we can have drinks!! How do I do this sober thing still going out socialising and not drinking?? I'm trying so hard, do I just tell everyone??
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Lexy, you have loads of things in your head, just calm down, slow down and take these one at a time:
1. You realise you have a drinking problem and you have come to a site that can offer great support. Thats great. Some people destroy their entire life before they reach that stage.
2. You stayed dry almost a month. Thats great, now you know that not drinking will not kill you.
3. You drank and feel bad about it. So you need stronger and more tools to analyse you failed. We all have triggers and we all need to learn how to combat them. Lexy, I drank non stop for 27 years and then quit for the FIRST time 62 days ago. In that time I drank once which was 34 days ago on my day 28. I was really down when that happened but I realised what made me do it and promised myself that I would not do it again. I now have 34 days. You can do the same. Let the relapse strengthen your toolkit and resolve not weaken it.
4. You have stopped it becoming a binge, great
5. You do not need to tell anyone that you have quit and you do not have to stop socialising. Tell who you want to tell and nobody else and go where you want to go. It may be wise to avoid any situation that may trigger a desire to drink for a while. I avoid bars now at the moment and I stay really busy between 5pm and 8pm which is a danger zone for me....find your danger places and avoid them. I simply tell people that I am trying to get healthier at the start of the year and am off the booze for a little while. If they push I simply say no and if they ask how long I am going to not drink I say I don't know. If anybody pushes it further I just say jokingly, but seriously, "look there is nothing you can do or say to get me to drink".
1. You realise you have a drinking problem and you have come to a site that can offer great support. Thats great. Some people destroy their entire life before they reach that stage.
2. You stayed dry almost a month. Thats great, now you know that not drinking will not kill you.
3. You drank and feel bad about it. So you need stronger and more tools to analyse you failed. We all have triggers and we all need to learn how to combat them. Lexy, I drank non stop for 27 years and then quit for the FIRST time 62 days ago. In that time I drank once which was 34 days ago on my day 28. I was really down when that happened but I realised what made me do it and promised myself that I would not do it again. I now have 34 days. You can do the same. Let the relapse strengthen your toolkit and resolve not weaken it.
4. You have stopped it becoming a binge, great
5. You do not need to tell anyone that you have quit and you do not have to stop socialising. Tell who you want to tell and nobody else and go where you want to go. It may be wise to avoid any situation that may trigger a desire to drink for a while. I avoid bars now at the moment and I stay really busy between 5pm and 8pm which is a danger zone for me....find your danger places and avoid them. I simply tell people that I am trying to get healthier at the start of the year and am off the booze for a little while. If they push I simply say no and if they ask how long I am going to not drink I say I don't know. If anybody pushes it further I just say jokingly, but seriously, "look there is nothing you can do or say to get me to drink".
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