Day 18 and wish I had the pink cloud
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 113
Day 18 and wish I had the pink cloud
No pink cloud for this girl. Resentments are so dangerous. I was going through some financial messiness with my ex and I literally was thinking about going to the liquor store after work. I went to a meeting, called my sponsor and reached out to the women from AA and am feeling much better now. The craving has gone down to a dull passing thought. I know that it won't make anything better and in fact will make things worse especially considering what just happened my last relapse. I don't know if I would be able to stop if I start or where it's going to take me.
Alcoholism is so scary but it doesn't help that I feel so awful so it's not making sobriety seem all that shiny and great. I need to keep doing the next right action, one day at a time and know that my HP is looking out for me or whatever that spiritual being is that I feel. I'm so scared I am not strong enough to keep fighting this. I'm scared I'm not going to make it.
I hope things get better. I'm thinking pizza night with some chick flicks for me. Treat myself a bit.
Alcoholism is so scary but it doesn't help that I feel so awful so it's not making sobriety seem all that shiny and great. I need to keep doing the next right action, one day at a time and know that my HP is looking out for me or whatever that spiritual being is that I feel. I'm so scared I am not strong enough to keep fighting this. I'm scared I'm not going to make it.
I hope things get better. I'm thinking pizza night with some chick flicks for me. Treat myself a bit.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
I didn't have a pink cloud either Janis...but little by little things got better and I found happiness - I know you will too.
Dealing with an ex, and money, is always going to be stressful - for anyone, alcoholic or not - you can get through this though
just keep leaning on the support you have
D
Dealing with an ex, and money, is always going to be stressful - for anyone, alcoholic or not - you can get through this though
just keep leaning on the support you have
D
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi Janis well done on 18 days sober dont worry about pink clouds
I think your dealing with a stressful set of circumstances and in time little by little youl start to feel better
Pizza & chick flicks is a nice treat
i think you done great reaching out it really is one of the most useful tools in sobriety
I think your dealing with a stressful set of circumstances and in time little by little youl start to feel better
Pizza & chick flicks is a nice treat
i think you done great reaching out it really is one of the most useful tools in sobriety
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Janis, I didn't have a pink cloud either, and I'm kind of glad.
My improvement was slow but steady. Each day, each week got a bit better. Of course there were moments, but all in all it worked for me.
My improvement was slow but steady. Each day, each week got a bit better. Of course there were moments, but all in all it worked for me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Do you mean you're not aware that you're feeling better? Can you perhaps join in with one of the gratitude lists on this Forum - that might give you a fresh perspective on how things are going. I find when I do the gratitude list, my mood stablises.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 374
Way to go on day 18 ! And kudos to you for reaching out to a support system, and treating yourself. You sound as though you are doing all the right things ! I don't think I ever had a pink cloud either...which is fine since it's not my favourite colour anyway 
keep it up !
keep it up !
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 83
I understand about wishing for a pink cloud. Me too many times. But you did the right things-Congrats!!!!! NONE of the stressful crap you are going thru would be helped by drinking. IN FACT--will make everything worse. Girlfriends and pizza sounds awesome--maybe even some chocolate? One day, one hour, one minute at a time--your worth it. hugs,
Cause no harm
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 596
Janis,
Pink clouds are nice, but they can bring a false positive. It is better to remain in the level for the majority of time. And when the pc comes, enjoy it while it is there and let it go when its gone. They are, however, much more enjoyable than black clouds, which, as we all know, will inevitably show up at times as well. BTW, don't hold on to them, either.
Pink clouds are nice, but they can bring a false positive. It is better to remain in the level for the majority of time. And when the pc comes, enjoy it while it is there and let it go when its gone. They are, however, much more enjoyable than black clouds, which, as we all know, will inevitably show up at times as well. BTW, don't hold on to them, either.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 113
Just checking in to say I made it!! Day 19 and I feel better today. By the grace of something greater than me I was given some relief. I slept and I don't feel so horrible. I'm very thankful I didn't pick up!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Thanks you for the flashbacks of what it used to be like for me.
After the fog lifted the mental obsession was pretty strong.
A couple things kept me fighting.
Fear of what would happen if a drank.
And trust in those that went before me telling me it will get better if I work for it.
Many days/ nights the serenity prayer was said overandoverandoverandover.it was the inky prayer I knew ad can't be worn out. Also stated working then at the practice of turning my attention to something more useful.
And herei am a few years later. Sober and not fighting it.
It WILL happen for you,too IF ya work for it!
Don't give up 10 seconds before the miracle happens.
Don't be afraid to call your sponsor and others and read the big book.
After the fog lifted the mental obsession was pretty strong.
A couple things kept me fighting.
Fear of what would happen if a drank.
And trust in those that went before me telling me it will get better if I work for it.
Many days/ nights the serenity prayer was said overandoverandoverandover.it was the inky prayer I knew ad can't be worn out. Also stated working then at the practice of turning my attention to something more useful.
And herei am a few years later. Sober and not fighting it.
It WILL happen for you,too IF ya work for it!
Don't give up 10 seconds before the miracle happens.
Don't be afraid to call your sponsor and others and read the big book.
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