Do I need rehab?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 4
Do I need rehab?
New to this whole thing. Long story....I have been a habitual user of alcohol and it has gotten to the point where I drink every day. I wake up at night dry heaving and need to drink to get back to sleep. I've torn my esophagus throwing up. I recently got a new job and my performance has suffered. I really feel that I need to get treatment inpatient and as long as I am employed I am eligible to receive that help BUT I do not know how to go about asking for it. Do I go to HR? I don't know anything about our short term disability and don't want to ask without looking fishy or suspicious. My life these past few years has been out of control and I've switched jobs twice since 2013 - on good terms both times, getting a new, better position. My family is telling me I cannot possibly go to rehab because I will lose my job and I need to suck this up and just deal with it. I've been going to AA (but obviously I keep slipping) and everyone there is telling me I need inpatient for a while to get me on my feet. My family no longer trusts me and they are angry at me for NOT taking their advice. Their advice now is to NOT seek inpatient treatment....but to just deal with this on my own. My job is the most important thing in my life they say.... I'm so torn right now, I don't know what to do. Thanks.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR.
If you have the chance to go to rehab, do so. While employed. If you don't, and your job performance continues to suffer, you might get laid off. Then where will you be? An unemployed alcoholic with a big, fat reason to drink.
Go see your company's HR person.
If you have the chance to go to rehab, do so. While employed. If you don't, and your job performance continues to suffer, you might get laid off. Then where will you be? An unemployed alcoholic with a big, fat reason to drink.
Go see your company's HR person.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome to SR, BostonGirl.
Is there an Employee Assistance Program at work? You can call them and remain anonymous.
Many companies have their employee manual available to employees either digitally or in hard form; could simply ask where to find a copy.
Have you spoken to your doctor about your drinking? He may be able to help you put an effective plan in place.
If the people in AA are suggesting inpatient rehab, they may be onto something. If a group of alcoholics feel that you are in over your head . . . .
Glad you found SR.
Is there an Employee Assistance Program at work? You can call them and remain anonymous.
Many companies have their employee manual available to employees either digitally or in hard form; could simply ask where to find a copy.
Have you spoken to your doctor about your drinking? He may be able to help you put an effective plan in place.
If the people in AA are suggesting inpatient rehab, they may be onto something. If a group of alcoholics feel that you are in over your head . . . .
Glad you found SR.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
bostongirl, why do you think rehab is the only option? I suggest you talk to your doctor about the various options available to you. Many As fail repeatedly to stop drinking until they reach a point where it gets too painful to continue. Then something clicks.
You don't say how much you're drinking, whether you drink all day. A lot depends on your circumstances, but see your doctor to start a discussion. Don't be shy, and tell your doctor the truth about your intake.
You don't say how much you're drinking, whether you drink all day. A lot depends on your circumstances, but see your doctor to start a discussion. Don't be shy, and tell your doctor the truth about your intake.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
I think you should step away from your family's advice so that you can figure out what is right for you.
If Inpatient rehab is something that you could do, then it could be a good idea. But, you don't 'need' rehab in order to step drinking. Talking to your company about their employee assistance and to your dr would probably be a good place to start.
If Inpatient rehab is something that you could do, then it could be a good idea. But, you don't 'need' rehab in order to step drinking. Talking to your company about their employee assistance and to your dr would probably be a good place to start.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
It was explained to me that if I
had continued to drink and have
an addiction to alcohol, not only
would I loose a job, family, car,
house, all that material stuff that
can be replaced, but if I die, I loose
everything. EVERYTHING.
No job. No family. No money. No
house, NO LIFE NO NOTHING.
Family intervened on me when
I just wanted to call it quits on life
and everything that came with it,
never giving a second thought about
the effects of my actions would have
on my family, my little ones.
Selfishly and under the influence
and addiction I wanted to escape.
Thank God my family stepped in
with action, intervention, getting
me help I desperately needed at
that time in my life.
I had tried so many times to stop
the insanity that comes with addiction.
That roller coaster ride that won't let
me off.
I spent 28 days in a rehab facility
scared and worried more about my
little family. I knew I had family to
take care of my little ones, but they
were not me. I had to let go of all
that worry and concentrate on learning
about my addiction and how it affects
my mind, body and soul as well as
others around me.
Once I returned home and to daily
life as a mom and wife, I also had
to work on living a sober life using
all the knowledge and tools taught
to me to live a sober, happy, healthy,
honest life for a many one days at a
time down the road.
I had to learn to take care of me first,
to get healthy before I could take care
of anything else.
Recovery is a journey in life incorporating
steps and tools to guide us each day. Eventually
the promises that are granted to us in living
this sober life will and can come true.
Listen, Learn, Absorb , Apply.
had continued to drink and have
an addiction to alcohol, not only
would I loose a job, family, car,
house, all that material stuff that
can be replaced, but if I die, I loose
everything. EVERYTHING.
No job. No family. No money. No
house, NO LIFE NO NOTHING.
Family intervened on me when
I just wanted to call it quits on life
and everything that came with it,
never giving a second thought about
the effects of my actions would have
on my family, my little ones.
Selfishly and under the influence
and addiction I wanted to escape.
Thank God my family stepped in
with action, intervention, getting
me help I desperately needed at
that time in my life.
I had tried so many times to stop
the insanity that comes with addiction.
That roller coaster ride that won't let
me off.
I spent 28 days in a rehab facility
scared and worried more about my
little family. I knew I had family to
take care of my little ones, but they
were not me. I had to let go of all
that worry and concentrate on learning
about my addiction and how it affects
my mind, body and soul as well as
others around me.
Once I returned home and to daily
life as a mom and wife, I also had
to work on living a sober life using
all the knowledge and tools taught
to me to live a sober, happy, healthy,
honest life for a many one days at a
time down the road.
I had to learn to take care of me first,
to get healthy before I could take care
of anything else.
Recovery is a journey in life incorporating
steps and tools to guide us each day. Eventually
the promises that are granted to us in living
this sober life will and can come true.
Listen, Learn, Absorb , Apply.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 4
Thanks all. We do have documents on the intranet but nothing about short term disability of EAP. I emailed HR re: EAP - just asking if we had a plan in place, details etc. very generic so as not to rouse suspicion. Has anyone here been to rehab? Experience? This is a long weekend and I plan to detox myself (and let my PCP know what is going on - I just called and left a message). I injured my leg and am staying with a family member as I cannot drive right now (interestingly enough I was sober when I injured myself....go figure) and cannot move back home for a few more weeks. I would love to hear from others who have been to rehab or done this on their own. I want to live and the way I have been living is NO WAY to live!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I did it on my own, but if the rehab option would have been available, I would have went without a doubt.
You get help, support, techniques, and TIME to just concentrate on sobriety. Go for it!
You get help, support, techniques, and TIME to just concentrate on sobriety. Go for it!
11.30.14
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: California
Posts: 401
I would not advise going to HR and give them details of your situation. HR's allegiance resides with the company. The information you give them will be documented in your HR record. Work directly with your doctor and keep things confidential. You just need to tell your employer that you're going out on medical leave.
You made the right decision. Good luck to you on the start of your journey to sobriety.
You made the right decision. Good luck to you on the start of your journey to sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hi there. I did rehab. Called my supervisor and told her I needed to go. It was a great experience for me. I would say follow the above advice for eap. I work for a government body and had been with the same employer for 12 years at the time.
I would advise taking a step back from your family and their advice. If you can't do it alone, you can't. If you continue as you are going you will not have a job to worry about losing. Get the help now. You do not want to get fired for cause which could happen if you show up smelling of alcohol. Or are absent too much. First things first. There are other jobs out there. There is only one you. Take care of you. Take care of you.
I would advise taking a step back from your family and their advice. If you can't do it alone, you can't. If you continue as you are going you will not have a job to worry about losing. Get the help now. You do not want to get fired for cause which could happen if you show up smelling of alcohol. Or are absent too much. First things first. There are other jobs out there. There is only one you. Take care of you. Take care of you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I also just want to say do whatever you can with what you can. A dear friend of mine, also a drinker, went into cardiac arrest and died on the operating table as surgeons were working to repair her torn esophagus. That was the second time her esophagus had torn and she didnt stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
If your company has an EAP, it should be confidential. They should know about the short term disability in your state and the details about the one your employer may have in place. If you can, inpatient might be best. All you have to worry about is getting well. 24-7 support and you'll learn more about alcoholism/addiction. I went and have never regretted it. Be sure and do the aftercare too!
Love from Lenina
Love from Lenina
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Bostongirl,
I went to a six week inpatient rehab in December 2009, and recently celebrated 5 years sobriety. I know people who have managed to get sober through AA alone, but I seriously doubt I would have succeeded without inpatient. From what you have posted, I would say you have tried it on your own and it hasn't worked. Therefore - you need to try something different and more comprehensive. Inpatient would definitely fit the bill.
I have to call out this section below from your original post.
Have any of these well intentioned family members been to inpatient rehab? Are any of them in recovery at all? I don't doubt that they believe what they are saying, and are giving the advice in good faith, but your life is at stake here. Alcoholism gets harder to recover from the longer you've been in its clutches. You have been fortunate to have progressed in your career after the point that you recognized alcohol is a problem and have relapsed during that timeframe. But consider that luck, not skill. You won't be able to keep your job (much less move up the ladder) if you continue to relapse. Whatever embarrassments or inconveniences your drinking has bestowed thus far are only the beginning. And the crazy thing is, the decline gets steeper over time, and harder to get out of.
So yes, I absolutely think you are right to think rehab is the way to go. But don't kid yourself that it will be 100% different once you return. Rehab will give you time and space to heal and learn how to stay sober, which is easy enough to do when you are surrounded by recovery every minute of your day. It's when you return that the rubber meets the road. AA is great - I went to a meeting a day for my first year, worked with a sponsor, did all the stuff I was asked to do. But I also worked with a psychiatrist, my girlfriend (now wife) quit drinking, I changed who I associated and where I spent my free time. That's what I had to do. Your needs will be different - but it is your responsibility to do whatever it takes to avoid the first drink, consequences be damned. My family (back in Boston, coincidentally) didn't see me for a year - they drink, I couldn't handle being around it. I am able to do family stuff now but for awhile I had to keep my distance. I dialed back my career aspirations to avoid putting myself in a job where stress, travel, entertainment of customers, and time demands would have crowded out my recovery work.
In the end, all of those things kept me sober. Could I have done it with less effort? Maybe... but I wasn't willing and remain unwilling to bet my life on it. This is YOUR gig, nobody elses. There's a lot of life left to live, but you have to take care of first things first. And the rest, I assure you, will be beyond what you ever expected.
Keep up the good work, and keep us posted!
I went to a six week inpatient rehab in December 2009, and recently celebrated 5 years sobriety. I know people who have managed to get sober through AA alone, but I seriously doubt I would have succeeded without inpatient. From what you have posted, I would say you have tried it on your own and it hasn't worked. Therefore - you need to try something different and more comprehensive. Inpatient would definitely fit the bill.
I have to call out this section below from your original post.
Originally Posted by Bostongirl1980 
My family no longer trusts me and they are angry at me for NOT taking their advice. Their advice now is to NOT seek inpatient treatment....but to just deal with this on my own. My job is the most important thing in my life they say.... I'm so torn right now, I don't know what to do. Thanks.
So yes, I absolutely think you are right to think rehab is the way to go. But don't kid yourself that it will be 100% different once you return. Rehab will give you time and space to heal and learn how to stay sober, which is easy enough to do when you are surrounded by recovery every minute of your day. It's when you return that the rubber meets the road. AA is great - I went to a meeting a day for my first year, worked with a sponsor, did all the stuff I was asked to do. But I also worked with a psychiatrist, my girlfriend (now wife) quit drinking, I changed who I associated and where I spent my free time. That's what I had to do. Your needs will be different - but it is your responsibility to do whatever it takes to avoid the first drink, consequences be damned. My family (back in Boston, coincidentally) didn't see me for a year - they drink, I couldn't handle being around it. I am able to do family stuff now but for awhile I had to keep my distance. I dialed back my career aspirations to avoid putting myself in a job where stress, travel, entertainment of customers, and time demands would have crowded out my recovery work.
In the end, all of those things kept me sober. Could I have done it with less effort? Maybe... but I wasn't willing and remain unwilling to bet my life on it. This is YOUR gig, nobody elses. There's a lot of life left to live, but you have to take care of first things first. And the rest, I assure you, will be beyond what you ever expected.
Keep up the good work, and keep us posted!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 4
Update: I went to detox and am now in a rehab facility in New Hampshire where I will stay for one month. Things are going well and I am 8 days sober today! YAY! I feel so much better and I am starting to actually enjoy life again. I went to HR and they are allowing me to keep my job - holding it for me until I get back. I am so grateful. Thank you God. Thanks for the advice all!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Bostongirl1980
Update: I went to detox and am now in a rehab facility in New Hampshire where I will stay for one month. Things are going well and I am 8 days sober today! YAY! I feel so much better and I am starting to actually enjoy life again. I went to HR and they are allowing me to keep my job - holding it for me until I get back. I am so grateful. Thank you God. Thanks for the advice all!
Hi Bostongirl this is amazing im so happy for you congrats on making a lifechanging decision well done on 8 days im over the moon for you i really am will you keep updating this is really really inspiring & beautiful news
Way to go Bostongirl
Ya**!
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Canada! wtf eh?
Posts: 1,123
Originally Posted by Bostongirl1980
Update: I went to detox and am now in a rehab facility in New Hampshire where I will stay for one month. Things are going well and I am 8 days sober today! YAY! I feel so much better and I am starting to actually enjoy life again. I went to HR and they are allowing me to keep my job - holding it for me until I get back. I am so grateful. Thank you God. Thanks for the advice all!
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