looking for advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: scotland
Posts: 84
looking for advice
Hello this is my first post on here but after reading some previous posts I wanted to get advice from people who may have experienced what I am going through.
I had been drinking since I was say sixteen and I am now in my 30s I have given up drinking as I took a panic attack and for weeks suffered from anxiety and depression I can honestly say it was the worst weeks of my life.
I drank say 4 days a week at my worst this included ever Friday and Saturday. I never thought I had a problem but I drank because that was my thing and I enjoyed it, I would be active as I drank like fix things , tidy and cook I never sat around and drank I was always busy.
I have not drank or smoked cigarettes since November 2014 and I take a 20mg (AD) every morning and I think it is working but I have a great fear sometimes I will start to feel the way I did at the start and this can come on at any time and I try my best to out it out my mind and keep busy and occupied.
I have days where I think I may have a drink again in the future but there is a day where I feel sad and emotional and think if I did drink it would make me feel worse. I think I am adjusting to a sober life now but as I said there is always the fear that I will get the horrible down, sad emotional feelings again and this seems to be the thing that comes over me again and again.
It has been say 14 weeks since I last drank and I feel sometime empty as if there is something missing well there is and as it was a big part of my life I wondered how others adjusted and dealt with there feelings ?
I had been drinking since I was say sixteen and I am now in my 30s I have given up drinking as I took a panic attack and for weeks suffered from anxiety and depression I can honestly say it was the worst weeks of my life.
I drank say 4 days a week at my worst this included ever Friday and Saturday. I never thought I had a problem but I drank because that was my thing and I enjoyed it, I would be active as I drank like fix things , tidy and cook I never sat around and drank I was always busy.
I have not drank or smoked cigarettes since November 2014 and I take a 20mg (AD) every morning and I think it is working but I have a great fear sometimes I will start to feel the way I did at the start and this can come on at any time and I try my best to out it out my mind and keep busy and occupied.
I have days where I think I may have a drink again in the future but there is a day where I feel sad and emotional and think if I did drink it would make me feel worse. I think I am adjusting to a sober life now but as I said there is always the fear that I will get the horrible down, sad emotional feelings again and this seems to be the thing that comes over me again and again.
It has been say 14 weeks since I last drank and I feel sometime empty as if there is something missing well there is and as it was a big part of my life I wondered how others adjusted and dealt with there feelings ?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
hi and welcome,
I recommend seeing a therapist or counselor - who prescribed the 20mg AD?
good that you gave up drinking, one thing is that you are still adjusting to it.
I don't know how much you drank, but after a steady period of some dose of a alcohol, it will take some time for your body (including brain) to normalize
good luck
I recommend seeing a therapist or counselor - who prescribed the 20mg AD?
good that you gave up drinking, one thing is that you are still adjusting to it.
I don't know how much you drank, but after a steady period of some dose of a alcohol, it will take some time for your body (including brain) to normalize
good luck
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR.
Sounds to me like you are experiencing just what a lot of folks do in early recovery--mourning the loss of alcohol and their "old" life.
Successful sobriety is more than putting down the bottle. There is a lot of change that has to occur, such as adjusting to a sober life, but also doing the things that bring meaning to your new life. I think a lot of the fear you feel might be fear of change.
Sounds to me like you are experiencing just what a lot of folks do in early recovery--mourning the loss of alcohol and their "old" life.
Successful sobriety is more than putting down the bottle. There is a lot of change that has to occur, such as adjusting to a sober life, but also doing the things that bring meaning to your new life. I think a lot of the fear you feel might be fear of change.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
I think you are starting to realize the sobriety is so much more than just not drinking. I know that I often drank to cover up a lot of feelings and emotions that I had that I didn't want to experience. You are perhaps experiencing feelings now that you aren't used to. Alcohol is a depressant and it may have been masking your anxiety. I'm a believer that medication can be good but it really should be accompanied with counseling of some type. Glad you are posting here....great site for support!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
Hi Aldo,
Welcome and well done on 14 weeks - that's great.
I'm sober near enough 7 months now and it took time for low feelings to settle. I still have off days but they're far better than any day I had drinking.
I had to work on recovery, attend AA, seen an alcohol counsellor etc. Drinking made me miserable so I try to hang onto those thoughts.
Wishing you well.
Welcome and well done on 14 weeks - that's great.
I'm sober near enough 7 months now and it took time for low feelings to settle. I still have off days but they're far better than any day I had drinking.
I had to work on recovery, attend AA, seen an alcohol counsellor etc. Drinking made me miserable so I try to hang onto those thoughts.
Wishing you well.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 49
[QUOTE="aldo1981;5139097"have given up drinking as I took a panic attack and for weeks suffered from anxiety and depression I can honestly say it was the worst weeks of my life. [/QUOTE]
Well first of all congratulations on 14 weeks!!! I just hit 14 days and felt like that was a huge accomplishment- can't wait to hit that same milestone you have.
So obviously I don't have a ton of time but wanted to say that I also suffer from a lot of anxiety and occasional panic attacks and they were 100x worse when alcohol was involved. It has started to get better but I do experience it still. Have done some research and alcohol actually makes your anxiety worse-part of the withdrawal symptoms. I think it depends on how long/much you had been drinking before that relates to how severe your withdrawal symptoms are. I think they can last 6 months but usually are less common the more sobriety you get under your belt.
Have you tried exercising, breathing techniques or relaxing CDS to help with your anxiety? Exercise helps me a TON! Also I need something to get my mind off of it which usually means watching some good movies! Find something that makes you feel calm and happy and do that! Good job again on your accomplishment!
Well first of all congratulations on 14 weeks!!! I just hit 14 days and felt like that was a huge accomplishment- can't wait to hit that same milestone you have.
So obviously I don't have a ton of time but wanted to say that I also suffer from a lot of anxiety and occasional panic attacks and they were 100x worse when alcohol was involved. It has started to get better but I do experience it still. Have done some research and alcohol actually makes your anxiety worse-part of the withdrawal symptoms. I think it depends on how long/much you had been drinking before that relates to how severe your withdrawal symptoms are. I think they can last 6 months but usually are less common the more sobriety you get under your belt.
Have you tried exercising, breathing techniques or relaxing CDS to help with your anxiety? Exercise helps me a TON! Also I need something to get my mind off of it which usually means watching some good movies! Find something that makes you feel calm and happy and do that! Good job again on your accomplishment!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Aldo, congratulations on 14 weeks of sobriety.
Have you made other changes in your life besides stopping drinking? Stopping drinking is just the beginning of the journey. Most of us need to deal with the underlying issues in our lives that brought us to alcoholism. Have you started up new hobbies, activities, sports, volunteer work, etc.? Those kinds of things could help you to feel positive about your life.
Have you made other changes in your life besides stopping drinking? Stopping drinking is just the beginning of the journey. Most of us need to deal with the underlying issues in our lives that brought us to alcoholism. Have you started up new hobbies, activities, sports, volunteer work, etc.? Those kinds of things could help you to feel positive about your life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: scotland
Posts: 84
Many thanks for the words of support ,, I have seen a counsellor and found it ok I think my next move will be addressing the anxiety with classes . It's good to know there are people who can understand how I feel that is a feeling I can use when feeling low ,, again many thanks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: scotland
Posts: 84
Originally Posted by LBrain 
hi and welcome,
I recommend seeing a therapist or counselor - who prescribed the 20mg AD?
good that you gave up drinking, one thing is that you are still adjusting to it.
I don't know how much you drank, but after a steady period of some dose of a alcohol, it will take some time for your body (including brain) to normalize
good luck
I recommend seeing a therapist or counselor - who prescribed the 20mg AD?
good that you gave up drinking, one thing is that you are still adjusting to it.
I don't know how much you drank, but after a steady period of some dose of a alcohol, it will take some time for your body (including brain) to normalize
good luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: scotland
Posts: 84
weekend is here ???
Weekends are particularly hard as iam sure you all can understand,, one thing I have came to realize after reading some of the kind reply’s is feeling out of place and anxious is really because every other weekend I would be in my routine of drinking and now I’m not its kind of like learning something new and just settling to the fact that being sober is not what is annoying me it is just the feeling of being normal (what ever that is) actually feels like.
I would in the past at weekends be up early arrange all the things I had to do and make sure they where done as early as possible then I felt I had achieved what I set out to do and it was time for a drink in my mind it was a reward I had earned after a long week at work or mid week if I had a bad or even sometimes good day.
Anyway I will get thought it I made it through xmas and that was a challenge but to be honest I really didn’t want to drink I was more afraid of the depressing / anxiety feelings coming back that is what kept me strong and focused on getting better
So the question I am asking is how long has others taken to feel normal and function and not gets the strange feelings because they are not drinking??
I would in the past at weekends be up early arrange all the things I had to do and make sure they where done as early as possible then I felt I had achieved what I set out to do and it was time for a drink in my mind it was a reward I had earned after a long week at work or mid week if I had a bad or even sometimes good day.
Anyway I will get thought it I made it through xmas and that was a challenge but to be honest I really didn’t want to drink I was more afraid of the depressing / anxiety feelings coming back that is what kept me strong and focused on getting better
So the question I am asking is how long has others taken to feel normal and function and not gets the strange feelings because they are not drinking??
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Welcome 
I think it's different for everyone Aldo - I had to completely change my life because my old life was all about drinking.
At the 90 day mark I felt like things were shifting towards a good place...if you're not feeling that yourself at 14 weeks I wonder what other changes you have made besides just not drinking?
D
I think it's different for everyone Aldo - I had to completely change my life because my old life was all about drinking.
At the 90 day mark I felt like things were shifting towards a good place...if you're not feeling that yourself at 14 weeks I wonder what other changes you have made besides just not drinking?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: scotland
Posts: 84
weekend
Thanks Dee
I have made a lot of changes like exercise and reading and think I am getting used to it but maybe I am expecting to much to soon ? . It has been hard but I expect the worst has been and gone. As I have said in previous posts I am just scared that the bad feelings start again and that can set me off thinking the worst and all,, I need to keep telling myself what I am feeling is normal and other people with issues or not experience days when they feel bad or low,,, I make myself feel worse sometimes its silly.
I have made a lot of changes like exercise and reading and think I am getting used to it but maybe I am expecting to much to soon ? . It has been hard but I expect the worst has been and gone. As I have said in previous posts I am just scared that the bad feelings start again and that can set me off thinking the worst and all,, I need to keep telling myself what I am feeling is normal and other people with issues or not experience days when they feel bad or low,,, I make myself feel worse sometimes its silly.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
"Don't let a bad day give you the impression you have a bad life"
I read that once and it rings true. Hard times or a hard day give us a negative vibe and I know for me, I take it to extremes. Break a nail and all of my nails look bad!
Gratitude lists or thoughts helps with this. At least I have a finger, a hand, an arm.
Sounds extreme but it does work. If I take the time to think of all the things I do have and feel grateful for them, then one bad thing does not seem so big.
Feelings, good and bad, come and go. They are not always facts, they are just what we are giving our attention to at that specific time so they seem true and they feel real.
I had to learn to ride the emotional rollercoaster. I just hung on, didn't drink and made it over the hill.
My sponsor told me two things in early sobriety that helped me then and I still lean on them today. "this to, shall pass" and "you are right were you are supposed to be".
Everything is going to be okay
I read that once and it rings true. Hard times or a hard day give us a negative vibe and I know for me, I take it to extremes. Break a nail and all of my nails look bad!
Gratitude lists or thoughts helps with this. At least I have a finger, a hand, an arm.
Sounds extreme but it does work. If I take the time to think of all the things I do have and feel grateful for them, then one bad thing does not seem so big.
Feelings, good and bad, come and go. They are not always facts, they are just what we are giving our attention to at that specific time so they seem true and they feel real.
I had to learn to ride the emotional rollercoaster. I just hung on, didn't drink and made it over the hill.
My sponsor told me two things in early sobriety that helped me then and I still lean on them today. "this to, shall pass" and "you are right were you are supposed to be".
Everything is going to be okay
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: scotland
Posts: 84
Thank you very , I understand what you mean talking to people like you is also something I have started to do and I can honestly say I feel it is helping. It is so nice not to feel alone and to know people like you have made it. As I said my biggest fear is feeling bad and not having anything or one to help me but I have learned a lot from this site and feel it can and will help me to get there,,,
Many thanks
Many thanks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: scotland
Posts: 84
Hi (FG)
I know what you mean drinking did make me feel bad in more ways than being hungover . I am trying each day to get on with life its almost like learning to do something new where you get some fear of the un known ,,
But I am getting better it is just taking tome to do it so I keep telling myself it’s a marathon not a race…
Take care
I know what you mean drinking did make me feel bad in more ways than being hungover . I am trying each day to get on with life its almost like learning to do something new where you get some fear of the un known ,,
But I am getting better it is just taking tome to do it so I keep telling myself it’s a marathon not a race…
Take care
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
Originally Posted by aldo1981
Hi (FG)
I know what you mean drinking did make me feel bad in more ways than being hungover . I am trying each day to get on with life its almost like learning to do something new where you get some fear of the un known ,,
But I am getting better it is just taking tome to do it so I keep telling myself it’s a marathon not a race…
Take care
I know what you mean drinking did make me feel bad in more ways than being hungover . I am trying each day to get on with life its almost like learning to do something new where you get some fear of the un known ,,
But I am getting better it is just taking tome to do it so I keep telling myself it’s a marathon not a race…
Take care
Dealing with my weekends were the hardest, I was an out every weekend gal, drinking constantly. My whole life had to change (not to scare you) but I mean the drinking aspect which was my whole life I guess.
Just take it a day at a time, have you thought about AA? The thought of that used scare me but I really found great support there and there are many meetings all over Scotland. But get a support system in place, you really will need one.
As the weeks and months go on you'll find life is 100% better. I never thought Id get there but it can be done.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: scotland
Posts: 84
I have thought about the AA meetings but I am trying to get through it and I feel that I will but as you said one day at a time thanks I will defo consider the meetings in the near future as a support but I have never spoke about my life before I found this site and this has made me feel better about things one day one step ,,, thanks
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