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Cravings here too

Old 01-14-2015, 03:02 PM
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Cravings here too

I need to be talked down.

Right now, I'm only remembering the "benefits" of alcohol. I mostly drank alone and when I didn't, yes, I made a mess of things, embarrassed myself and the list goes on.

This is day five for me. I didn't go through any major withdrawal (this is common for me) so I don't have that scaring me off. Don't get me wrong, I don't want withdrawals, but I don't have that ammo in my pocket.

Mostly when I drank, the kids were in bed and it would be me, my vodka and my hobbies. Internet and tv. I didn't harm anyone (i'm not talking about physical effects which remains to be seen). I just had a good time. My thoughts would be more creative, I'd feel numbed from the world and it just felt good.

I don't mean this to trigger anyone. I'm just trying to make sure I don't make light of this.
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Old 01-14-2015, 03:18 PM
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Hi NGST try this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
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Old 01-14-2015, 03:19 PM
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Hey Hun I'm on day 4 and have had some horrible cravings on and off today but keep thinking of my why!!
Even if there was no harm done now it's progressive and would only get worse...it's inevitable!
God I miss that feeling too but eventually you need more and more to get the same effect and then things start getting dangerous.
I used to start drinking when my daughter was in bed but then it was earlier and earlier. Started to think how is this going to effect her, a teen in a few years thinking it's normal to see mum with a glass of wine in her hand every night. You'll start taking more and more risks too.
Also our kids need us healthy and well.
I have written a list of all the reasons I'm giving up and look at it when things get really tough. Maybe that would be an idea for you? Good luck x
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Old 01-14-2015, 04:28 PM
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Hi there. I have something for you. I'm a mom of 4 who would drink alone and mostly when putting them to bed/ or they were in bed and after only (lol) 9 years of drinking some wine and 2 shots or so of vodka a night I have damaged my liver and can't get lie insurance. I may not see my kids grow old and graduate or get married. I hope I do and my liver can recover but I won't know for about a year. That's scary - think about that. Look at your kids and imagen how much you'll miss.

If you need more, think of how you're poisoning your body. You deserve more then that - you deserve to be loved and cared for and not poisoned.
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Old 01-14-2015, 05:07 PM
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Originally Posted by notgonnastoptry View Post
Mostly when I drank, the kids were in bed and it would be me, my vodka and my hobbies. Internet and tv. I didn't harm anyone (i'm not talking about physical effects which remains to be seen). I just had a good time. My thoughts would be more creative, I'd feel numbed from the world and it just felt good.
I've thought about this a lot, and it even came up at an AA meeting I went to tonight, because the speaker had what's called a "high bottom" -- he hadn't lost anything or harmed anyone seriously.

First, I think a lot of us believe that we're more creative when we drink -- at first. But my guess is, either our supposed creativity is just something we perceive because we stay isolated with it (it's easy to sound like a genius to yourself), or it's just displayed to a bunch of drunks -- not a very critical audience LOL. In my experience, alcohol helped me filter out a lot of unwanted stimulation so I thought I could focus better -- it quieted down the anxiety that kept me from focusing on creative pursuits. It did those things successfully because it's a depressant. However, and it's a big however, because it's a depressant, there was invariably a letdown from every single "creative" burst.

Also, you say you didn't harm anyone. Are you including yourself? And I don't just mean physically... I mean in terms of wasted potential. I don't bother anymore to regret my past, but I'd be a fool not to recognize that I could have had a more interesting and memorable life if I hadn't stayed drunk for several decades!

I don't see any benefits to drinking. In sobriety my mind is sharper and more playful than it ever was when I was drunk, and I can use it the next day. And I'm not slowly killing myself.

I hope you stick with sobriety now. There's never any better time to quit than now!
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Old 01-14-2015, 05:32 PM
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You stopped for a reason, correct? Tell us that reason. I know there was a reason because you have stopped and you are asking for help not to drink tonight. Play out the evening and where you will end up tonight when you stumble to bed, wakng up tomorrow wondering why you did this to yourself.

I can give you some reasons not to get drunk tonight.

What if an emergency happens with the kids?

What if something happens to a family member and you need to get somewhere on your own?

What if you wake up 20 years from now and you life is in shambles because, "I just had a good time. My thoughts would be more creative, I'd feel numbed from the world and it just felt good." ?

I want to go back to the easy way of feeling good, but I have too many reasons not too. So do you and I encourage you with unending support to do so.

Eat some ice cream, seriously. Or anything that you like that has sugar, and do your hobbies. The internet and TV don't go away because you aren't drinking. At some point this won't be enough, but tonight it is.

Fight! You can get past this challenge. You are stronger than it, and you know this.
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Old 01-14-2015, 05:46 PM
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notgonnastoptry, I never suffered physical withdrawal either, and I feel very fortunate for that.

What it comes down to is staying focused. Remember, as Mikie said, the reason why you are choosing sobriety. Be mindful of your thoughts and how your body is reacting to them. When you tense up, try to relax. The links soberwolf posted are very helpful in this process I have found.

Hang in there!
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Old 01-14-2015, 06:37 PM
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Ice Cream Cures Cravings. It's a proven coping strategy. You'll see it mentioned all over SR.

Get some.
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Old 01-14-2015, 08:08 PM
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Thanks!

I did not drink. I don't even have access to it. I don't dare keep any in the house. I was on the "I'm just going to buy a half pint" (um, three times a day) kick at the end. So no booze here. And I wasn't going to go out to get it. I like my sobriety a lot at this point and don't want to ruin it, but it is hard.

thanks for the suggestions of ice cream. I'll never understand people's love of it! Now, give me a huge bowl of carbs- any carb-and I'll be happy as pie.
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Old 01-14-2015, 08:14 PM
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Good Ice cream is just the easy way to feel content. It is sugar, it is cold, it fills you up. A full stomach does wonders for the cravings, no matter the food of choice.

A good plan is needed to move on from all of this, and there are many here. As you eat your food of choice, rejoice in the fact you aren't drinking your carbs, or sugar in my case. Tday, food is a pacifier while you work out the rest of it. Day to day does get easier after a bit of time, there is nothing wrong with a crutch right now, ya know?
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Old 01-14-2015, 08:19 PM
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You withdrew into your own world and numbed your brain to the outside world. The numbing was in fact poisoning every fibre of your body and destroying you brain. If you continue, your kids will not have a mum for they will have a trembling, hollow shell of a drunk that they used to know and call mum. That reason enough of you, because thats where drinking vodka (or any other alcoholic drink) alone ends?
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Old 01-14-2015, 08:35 PM
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Hiya not, just to add my twopenneth, I wasted a lot of years losing myself in booze mixed with tv and Internet, thought I was having a marvellous time, I can jiz it up but, as Mikie says, what could you have done, what years have we wasted. Yeah a learning curve, but a pretty darn hard one.
Love ice cream, lol.
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Old 01-14-2015, 09:14 PM
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Make a list of all the benefits of sobriety. I bet it will be longer than a list of reasons to drink.
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