Janis

So I'm on day 17 and my background is trying to get sober for almost two years. This last time I lost my live in boyfriend and home. Luckily I have a good job and was able to find a place to live which I did in short order right after I dove back into AA. I'm now pulling the pieces of my life back together, moved in, meetings everyday along with the stress and anxiety of all the problems that I had which are manifesting in the worst ways. I was pretty sick in the stomach yesterday, not sleeping and I'm feeling very out of sorts with boxes everywhere. If it was up to me I would be taking a couple days to unpack and buy furniture. All I have is a bed that I bought currently and two tables I took with me.

Anyway, the whole mantra that my sponsor keeps telling me is to put sobriety first. This is the first time in the two years that I'm doing this and let me tell you it's hard! It's hard for me to make sure to make my nightly meetings especially how tired I am. I get up, go to work and then go to AA which with traveling to the meetings and back I'm not getting home until like 8pm or later. It's hard but I'm doing it. I do want to say that there is this voice that's creeping in telling me if I'm this miserable doing all this then why am I? Aren't I supposed to be feeling some relief with being sober? I know this is my alcoholic brain talking because I am a prime example of self will run riot.

I'm just posting to put my struggle out there and my thinking. I want this time to be different and so I'm taking different action but it's not always easy and doesn't always feel good. I hope that I can really put together some real sober time. It gets better right? This is just the early sobriety adjustment? It will become my norm and I will feel better?

Soberwolf

I think your doing really well Janis congrats on day 17 that is awesome

your sponser is right sobriety comes first

I know its hard in the begining but your doing great

Figure out a balance that makes you happy for mtns some go every day some every other some do 2-3 mtns pw some once a week once a month etc

find the balance that keeps you content & sober

were all here for you janis

IOAA2

Hi.

Tell us where it says early sobriety is going to be a fairy tale wonderful time. It can be better when we get a positive attitude and face life on life terms

Something that helps me to this day many years later that I study and answer as honestly as I can.



Alcoholics Anonymous is
a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.


I chuckled when you mentioned you don’t get home till 8 after a meeting. When I came around most meetings started at 8-8:30 and ended at 10.

BE WELL

Ruby2

Fellow Chicagoan! Early sobriety for me was very much like what you are describing. Busy, busy, busy, meetings meetings meetings, work, work, work. I think your sponsor is right. Put sobriety first. For me, if I had taken a few days to relax, unpack boxes, shop for furniture, my brain would have been telling me that a drink wouldn't be amiss. I needed that rigid routine and I needed to exhaust my body and my brain, every day. I did ninety meetings in ninety days. Six a.m. meetings, home, get the kids ready for school and out the door, get me ready for work and out the door, home by 6:30ish, kids to bed, start all over again the next morning.

It really helped retrain my brain to do it like that. I stayed sober for ten and a half months like that but relapsed because I stopped the routine. I've got a year now. Doing what I was supposed to do the first time. Early sobriety isn't easy. It certainly didn't always feel good. In fact, I was miserable and tired sometimes, but it did get easier. It will get easier. Honest!

IOAA2

WOOPS ment this also:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,The courage to change the things I can,And the wisdom to know the difference.

BE WELL

Foolsgold186

Welcome Janis and well done on 17 days.

I go to meetings when I can. Some days I can't go due to other commitments but I work on my sobriety in other ways.

Believe me it's really worth it!

Keep at it.

Wishing you well.

Thepatman

You are doing great!

If you need to install yourself in your new place, I doubt missing a meeting or 2 would be catastrophic. Stress and exhaustion is a bad combo in early recovery.

Keep rocking!

Anna

I'm not in AA, but I definitely put my recovery first. In the early days it felt right and easy to do that and I still continue to keep recovery at the forefront of my life.

I hope you feel better.

Janis

Thanks!! I needed to hear your feedback and comments. Makes me feel much better to air what's on my mind instead of keeping it to myself.

I'm actually getting a release today because after writing that I feel much better today.

SoberLeigh

Congratulations on 17 days, Janis. Well done.

Let a few minor things slide in order to keep sobriety priority.