son recovered from addiction but grandson addicted.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: SAN DIEGO, CA
Posts: 7
son recovered from addiction but grandson addicted.
Hi: This is my first post on this board. Although my son is recovered, he is going through the pain of the addiction of his son. It was very painful for me to have him blame me for his problems and addictions.
One night when he had been on the street for quite a while we met up and he wanted to come and stay with me. As painful as it was, I did not let him do that because I knew what would happen. It would only enable him and he would continue to be abusive to me. I took him back to the part of town he lived in(or the street) and let him out. It was so painful for me to do that, I still cry about it. He did not speak to me for about 4 or 5 years until he was recovered and began growing up, but by that time his child, my dear grandson, had become a juvenile delinquent and drug abuser.
The last I talked to my son he told me that my grandson had used again and was going back to detention. No surprise ,that even though the parents have straightened up from their addictions, the damage to my grandson had already been done.
Anyway, my son and I for a period of time, were able to talk and show respect for one another, but the other day it all fell apart. Even though we managed to talk with each other without judgment and anger, I know he still blames me. But the biggest thing is, I see the hurt he is going through with his son, the same hurt I've gone through with him. Although my son is recovered, I still see his pain from his losses and the death of a woman he loved from her addiction, and now the addiction of his own son.
How do you deal with the pain of seeing your child and grandson hurt and in pain. I have cried so much.
I did go to to Alanon for sometime which helped somewhat, but the biggest thing is the pain I feel when I see my son's pain. I feel so helpless, it has just brought me down again, after thinking we finally had the mother son relationship again.
First thing I did the next day was post a prayer request for both of them at my church, then cried for a couple of days, then I came here, I have been crying again. However, some of the crying I needed to do to help me grieve and release some of the pain. Then I came here, now I am going to start turning over, seriously to God. I am going to start trying to find some alanon groups.
It is so painful to see a child in pain and wish for him not to be this way, and in another way, I guess it's selfish because as long as they are in pain, you are too. So if they were not in pain, you would not be either.
Anyway, this is the best I can do to show where I am at right now and ask your help.
Thank you for your kindness.
gc
One night when he had been on the street for quite a while we met up and he wanted to come and stay with me. As painful as it was, I did not let him do that because I knew what would happen. It would only enable him and he would continue to be abusive to me. I took him back to the part of town he lived in(or the street) and let him out. It was so painful for me to do that, I still cry about it. He did not speak to me for about 4 or 5 years until he was recovered and began growing up, but by that time his child, my dear grandson, had become a juvenile delinquent and drug abuser.
The last I talked to my son he told me that my grandson had used again and was going back to detention. No surprise ,that even though the parents have straightened up from their addictions, the damage to my grandson had already been done.
Anyway, my son and I for a period of time, were able to talk and show respect for one another, but the other day it all fell apart. Even though we managed to talk with each other without judgment and anger, I know he still blames me. But the biggest thing is, I see the hurt he is going through with his son, the same hurt I've gone through with him. Although my son is recovered, I still see his pain from his losses and the death of a woman he loved from her addiction, and now the addiction of his own son.
How do you deal with the pain of seeing your child and grandson hurt and in pain. I have cried so much.
I did go to to Alanon for sometime which helped somewhat, but the biggest thing is the pain I feel when I see my son's pain. I feel so helpless, it has just brought me down again, after thinking we finally had the mother son relationship again.
First thing I did the next day was post a prayer request for both of them at my church, then cried for a couple of days, then I came here, I have been crying again. However, some of the crying I needed to do to help me grieve and release some of the pain. Then I came here, now I am going to start turning over, seriously to God. I am going to start trying to find some alanon groups.
It is so painful to see a child in pain and wish for him not to be this way, and in another way, I guess it's selfish because as long as they are in pain, you are too. So if they were not in pain, you would not be either.
Anyway, this is the best I can do to show where I am at right now and ask your help.
Thank you for your kindness.
gc
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
GC
My son is also an addict and I know your pain. Sadly, as you have already learned there is nothing we can do for them except pray and work a program to keep ourelves sane.
My heart goes out to you, along with my prayers for your family.
Hugs
Ann
My son is also an addict and I know your pain. Sadly, as you have already learned there is nothing we can do for them except pray and work a program to keep ourelves sane.
My heart goes out to you, along with my prayers for your family.
Hugs
Ann
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: SAN DIEGO, CA
Posts: 7
son recovered but grandson addicted
Dear Ann:
I gratefully accept your hug! Thank you for responding to me, and I guess you also know the feeling of gratitude when someone on the board cares and responds to you.
I am praying for all of us.
Love,
gc
I gratefully accept your hug! Thank you for responding to me, and I guess you also know the feeling of gratitude when someone on the board cares and responds to you.
I am praying for all of us.
Love,
gc
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Heart of Dixie
Posts: 168
GC
I can understand some of your pain I watch my mother as her heart breaks for my brother and my sister. It seems like life is constant drama for her and she is on medication for her nerves. The stress is about to take its toll on her. I also watch my boyfriend battle his addictions and what he goes through and its very hard to deal with. Lots of hugs and prayers for you and your family .
Rose
I can understand some of your pain I watch my mother as her heart breaks for my brother and my sister. It seems like life is constant drama for her and she is on medication for her nerves. The stress is about to take its toll on her. I also watch my boyfriend battle his addictions and what he goes through and its very hard to deal with. Lots of hugs and prayers for you and your family .
Rose
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