Pity party for one
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 261
Pity party for one
Well its been 13 days sober here and i am bored beyond belief. There is nothing to do at night where i live. Everything closes by 5 pm during the week except the stores. I did go to an AA meeting last night and it was a joke. Everyone there is court ordered to go and most everyone left afterward and went to the store to buy beer. Nobody hung out afterwards and talked they just left. I'm trapped in town because I haven't had a license in 16 years. My nights are spent alone either trying to read or just watching the clock until it gets late enough to go to bed. I don't have any real friends because of my past, most normal people I've found don't like hanging out with a felon. All i had were drinking buddies and now i don't even have that. So yeah booo hooo for me , ok I'm done with my pity party now back to your scheduled programming.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 33
Please don't give up. Keep coming back to this site if nothing else - I'm new here too but I'm starting to realize that there is a lot of support available here.
Be proud of your 13 days, that is an achievement.
You can get through this.
Be proud of your 13 days, that is an achievement.
You can get through this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Orting, Washington
Posts: 18
It's a very real thing! I find myself doing the same thing... On a night after work by myself.. I joined a gym but that's still me being with myself. So don't belittle those feelings- they are a HUGE part as to why I have a problem. You aren't alone is the loneliness
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
There are always crayons. Hobbies? I thought I read you were going to build a bike.
I don't have a lot of suggestions. I come home from work and stay at home chasing kids. Go to bed, get up and repeat. My life is actually pretty boring. I get my social interaction during the day, at work.
Are there any other AA meetings around or is that one it? I know that it's a problem when people are court ordered to AA. They distract from the program unless they actually want to stop drinking and not just get the courts off their backs.
Thirteen days is great. I'm sorry you are bored but it has actually only been 13 days. That seems like an eternity in the beginning but it isn't. Hang in there. Boredom is not a reason to drink. (Not that you said you were going to, I just threw that in. I used to drink over it).
I don't have a lot of suggestions. I come home from work and stay at home chasing kids. Go to bed, get up and repeat. My life is actually pretty boring. I get my social interaction during the day, at work.
Are there any other AA meetings around or is that one it? I know that it's a problem when people are court ordered to AA. They distract from the program unless they actually want to stop drinking and not just get the courts off their backs.
Thirteen days is great. I'm sorry you are bored but it has actually only been 13 days. That seems like an eternity in the beginning but it isn't. Hang in there. Boredom is not a reason to drink. (Not that you said you were going to, I just threw that in. I used to drink over it).
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 261
Originally Posted by Carlotta 
Also have you considered volunteering? It s a good way to make new friends who have interests other than drinking and drugging
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 261
Originally Posted by Ruby2
There are always crayons. Hobbies? I thought I read you were going to build a bike.
I don't have a lot of suggestions. I come home from work and stay at home chasing kids. Go to bed, get up and repeat. My life is actually pretty boring. I get my social interaction during the day, at work.
Are there any other AA meetings around or is that one it? I know that it's a problem when people are court ordered to AA. They distract from the program unless they actually want to stop drinking and not just get the courts off their backs.
Thirteen days is great. I'm sorry you are bored but it has actually only been 13 days. That seems like an eternity in the beginning but it isn't. Hang in there. Boredom is not a reason to drink. (Not that you said you were going to, I just threw that in. I used to drink over it).
I don't have a lot of suggestions. I come home from work and stay at home chasing kids. Go to bed, get up and repeat. My life is actually pretty boring. I get my social interaction during the day, at work.
Are there any other AA meetings around or is that one it? I know that it's a problem when people are court ordered to AA. They distract from the program unless they actually want to stop drinking and not just get the courts off their backs.
Thirteen days is great. I'm sorry you are bored but it has actually only been 13 days. That seems like an eternity in the beginning but it isn't. Hang in there. Boredom is not a reason to drink. (Not that you said you were going to, I just threw that in. I used to drink over it).
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Try this 2WheelTerror and have you checked out Avrt if aa isnt for you ?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
Well done on day 13
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
Well done on day 13
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
It is pretty difficult to build a sober community when you are out in the boonies.
I don't know what is keeping you where you are, but it might not be the right place for you. It sounds as if you live alone.
I also live in a rural community. I like our AA group here, but yes, the little town just shuts down at night, except for the bars. I have a job I value, so I'm committed here for a couple of years yet, but barring my finding my true love, I have no intention of remaining here, this alone and sober, long-term.
You're in the very beginning of your sobriety, but that doesn't mean you can't start thinking about what sort of a life you actually want. You don't sound happy, and although some of that has to do with the transition away from alcohol, it may also be that you fundamentally aren't happy inside the life you've built.
If you hate where you live and don't have connections in the community then taking up a new hobby might not be enough.
We have to create our whole lives. For some of us, it is the first time we've ever even contemplated doing that on purpose, with intention. When we are drunkards, life just sort of happens to us. And then we quit drinking, and so life stops happening.
I don't know what is keeping you where you are, but it might not be the right place for you. It sounds as if you live alone.
I also live in a rural community. I like our AA group here, but yes, the little town just shuts down at night, except for the bars. I have a job I value, so I'm committed here for a couple of years yet, but barring my finding my true love, I have no intention of remaining here, this alone and sober, long-term.
You're in the very beginning of your sobriety, but that doesn't mean you can't start thinking about what sort of a life you actually want. You don't sound happy, and although some of that has to do with the transition away from alcohol, it may also be that you fundamentally aren't happy inside the life you've built.
If you hate where you live and don't have connections in the community then taking up a new hobby might not be enough.
We have to create our whole lives. For some of us, it is the first time we've ever even contemplated doing that on purpose, with intention. When we are drunkards, life just sort of happens to us. And then we quit drinking, and so life stops happening.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
What heartcore said. If hobbies are not enough... Would you like to explore a new career somewhere else perhaps? Or just a new job? You could start planning that. Take up some online training, for example, if not for a job, something you are interested in learning. That would require more involvement and commitment than simply doing things for fun, and it's quite incompatible with drinking.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
If there's nothing to volunteer for, the AA meetings all suck and there's nothing you're interested in that you could start right away...why not dedicate a couple of hours here each night - share your story, help others?
There's an never ending demand for a strong shoulder and a kind ear here
D
There's an never ending demand for a strong shoulder and a kind ear here
D
Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
2WheelTerror do you play any musical instruments?
Nine years ago I was housebound for several months recovering from illness and I took up the piano. Now it is something I regularly use to channel pent up energy, which is in my personal opinion what boredom essentially is.
And it's a great way to socialize when you befriend other musicians!
Nine years ago I was housebound for several months recovering from illness and I took up the piano. Now it is something I regularly use to channel pent up energy, which is in my personal opinion what boredom essentially is.
And it's a great way to socialize when you befriend other musicians!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 425
I know the feeling. I'm not 100% sure WHY I drank the way I did. I haven't figured that out, but I"m still early in, it will come to me, eventually. I feel alone tonight. Yet I have no excuse, I live in a major city and I have a lot of friends. But that doesn't matter. There will always be nights where you will be alone. My point is, I think the key is being happy and comfortable with yourself. Learn to be comfortable with being alone. I'm not saying that I am, I'm feeling similar to you tonight, but I know that it would take me less than 10 mins to leave my apartment and get back with 10 "friends", that would just leave me high and dry in the morning (quite literally) So I will be alone tonight, and that is ok.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Orting, Washington
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by Serper2014
I know the feeling. I'm not 100% sure WHY I drank the way I did. I haven't figured that out, but I"m still early in, it will come to me, eventually. I feel alone tonight. Yet I have no excuse, I live in a major city and I have a lot of friends. But that doesn't matter. There will always be nights where you will be alone. My point is, I think the key is being happy and comfortable with yourself. Learn to be comfortable with being alone. I'm not saying that I am, I'm feeling similar to you tonight, but I know that it would take me less than 10 mins to leave my apartment and get back with 10 "friends", that would just leave me high and dry in the morning (quite literally) So I will be alone tonight, and that is ok.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Staffordshire, UK
Posts: 712
Is there anyone you could talk to at AA, maybe the person who runs it? I am sorry to hear of your situation and just echo the fact that there is always someone on here to chat with. Please keep coming back!
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