Feeling like crud in more ways than one
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
Feeling like crud in more ways than one
It's bad enough with all that is going on with my spouse and the fact he isn't home, but now it appears I have one son with the flu and I feel the symptoms coming on... :-( This stinks.
I have a doc appointment soon and hope they will take a look at me while I'm there with my son.
Thankfully I put dinner on and it will be ready when the others get home from school...I pray they can find a ride home.
On the positive side, my AH hasn't really been around most of our marriage for things like this anyway, so in a lot of ways its no different. He is always here physically, just always checked out and doesn't want the responsibility of the hard stuff.
On another note, my youngest son is grounded. I really could use a true husband/father; that would be SOOOO nice! He is young, has a girlfriend, and he is getting too frisky for my comfort and for the comfort of the young lady's mother. Her mom called me yesterday to make me aware of some things the two were planning. It's just not appropriate. I've had to take his phone. I talked with him about it and tried to treat him in a mature way since he is thinking "mature" thoughts, tho he is no where truly mature enough to take on that responsibility and the emotional side of things and neither is the girl. So we talked, and unfortunately, I broke down in tears. Not really because of him, but just with everything going on -- a husband gone in relapse, a sick kid, I'm getting sick, and now this, I just couldn't contain my tears and broke down. I feel awful that I made him feel so awful. He started crying and apologized for doing this to me when I'm under so much pressure from his dad and cried saying it was so unfair to me and how selfish he was to do this...blah, blah, blah... Sweet boy. I assured him I was ok, that he didn't "do" this or anything to me, and would be ok and that my tears were not his responsibility and there is nothing in the world he could do to ever make me not love him. Oh my goodness. I'm just so tired and I think that's why I broke down. Poor boy. But he is good now.
Ok. I'm feeling awful...aches coming on, headache, cough, tired and I have to wake my sick son and take him to the doctor.
Thanks for listening to my mess.
I have a doc appointment soon and hope they will take a look at me while I'm there with my son.
Thankfully I put dinner on and it will be ready when the others get home from school...I pray they can find a ride home.
On the positive side, my AH hasn't really been around most of our marriage for things like this anyway, so in a lot of ways its no different. He is always here physically, just always checked out and doesn't want the responsibility of the hard stuff.
On another note, my youngest son is grounded. I really could use a true husband/father; that would be SOOOO nice! He is young, has a girlfriend, and he is getting too frisky for my comfort and for the comfort of the young lady's mother. Her mom called me yesterday to make me aware of some things the two were planning. It's just not appropriate. I've had to take his phone. I talked with him about it and tried to treat him in a mature way since he is thinking "mature" thoughts, tho he is no where truly mature enough to take on that responsibility and the emotional side of things and neither is the girl. So we talked, and unfortunately, I broke down in tears. Not really because of him, but just with everything going on -- a husband gone in relapse, a sick kid, I'm getting sick, and now this, I just couldn't contain my tears and broke down. I feel awful that I made him feel so awful. He started crying and apologized for doing this to me when I'm under so much pressure from his dad and cried saying it was so unfair to me and how selfish he was to do this...blah, blah, blah... Sweet boy. I assured him I was ok, that he didn't "do" this or anything to me, and would be ok and that my tears were not his responsibility and there is nothing in the world he could do to ever make me not love him. Oh my goodness. I'm just so tired and I think that's why I broke down. Poor boy. But he is good now.
Ok. I'm feeling awful...aches coming on, headache, cough, tired and I have to wake my sick son and take him to the doctor.
Thanks for listening to my mess.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
You've heard that saying "I try to take life one day at a time, but lately I feel like several days have attacked me at once"?
Yeah. That.
I'm sorry. It does seem like things tend to pile up -- or maybe it's that when we're feeling emotionally stressed, other things feel more horrible than they would otherwise do. Either way, I think you handled things with your son great. I also think that letting him see you cry and be overwhelmed isn't a bad thing. That's one thing my kids' therapist chastised me for -- always keeping up a smiling front to the kids no matter how bad things got. She said "how do you expect them to learn that feelings are OK and that you can deal with them when they've never had that modeled for them?"
So yay for crying in front of the kids.
And I hope it's not the flu you have -- and that they can give you some antivirals if they determine it is!!!
Yeah. That.
I'm sorry. It does seem like things tend to pile up -- or maybe it's that when we're feeling emotionally stressed, other things feel more horrible than they would otherwise do. Either way, I think you handled things with your son great. I also think that letting him see you cry and be overwhelmed isn't a bad thing. That's one thing my kids' therapist chastised me for -- always keeping up a smiling front to the kids no matter how bad things got. She said "how do you expect them to learn that feelings are OK and that you can deal with them when they've never had that modeled for them?"
So yay for crying in front of the kids.
And I hope it's not the flu you have -- and that they can give you some antivirals if they determine it is!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Oh Katchie, thinking of you. I agree with Lillamy and headcase - its ok, and even beneficial for your kids to see you cry.
We grew up in a house where none of us kids EVER saw our parents cry. We never saw them argue. We never saw them stress out about money or anything really. We all grew up with a warped sense of reality, and how to handle emotion because of it.Nobody's world is perfect, and kids should not think that anyone's should be!
(((BIGHUG)))
We grew up in a house where none of us kids EVER saw our parents cry. We never saw them argue. We never saw them stress out about money or anything really. We all grew up with a warped sense of reality, and how to handle emotion because of it.Nobody's world is perfect, and kids should not think that anyone's should be!
(((BIGHUG)))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: The planet Earth, or at least that's what I've been told.
Posts: 130
Katchie -
So sorry you're feeling bad! My past week was pretty crappy too. Got the flu, problems at work, problems with family, etc.
Try to focus on each issue one at a time. The first thing of course is your physical health! I was able to recover pretty quickly from the flu by eating tons of fruits and veggies. The best way is by making smoothies. Here are two of my favorites:
Banana Berry Smoothie
-1 banana
-frozen strawberries and blue berries
-soy ice cream
-rice milk
-molasses (for flavor, postassium and iron)
Orange/Carrot/Beet Smoothie
-Boil 1/2 beet and 1 carrot until soft
-Blend with fresh squeezed or organic orange juice
Once you're feeling better physically, you'll have the energy to tackly everything else.
Hugs
So sorry you're feeling bad! My past week was pretty crappy too. Got the flu, problems at work, problems with family, etc.
Try to focus on each issue one at a time. The first thing of course is your physical health! I was able to recover pretty quickly from the flu by eating tons of fruits and veggies. The best way is by making smoothies. Here are two of my favorites:
Banana Berry Smoothie
-1 banana
-frozen strawberries and blue berries
-soy ice cream
-rice milk
-molasses (for flavor, postassium and iron)
Orange/Carrot/Beet Smoothie
-Boil 1/2 beet and 1 carrot until soft
-Blend with fresh squeezed or organic orange juice
Once you're feeling better physically, you'll have the energy to tackly everything else.
Hugs
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Big hug from me, too. (Just because it's a cyber-hug--not sure I'd risk the germs if you were standing in front of me.)
I agree, you handled the issue with your son just fine. I'm sorry you don't have a supportive partner to help you with this sort of thing--especially when you're feeling so sucky--but you're doing the best you can and it IS good enough for your kiddos.
Take some extra Vitamin C--couldn't hoit.
I agree, you handled the issue with your son just fine. I'm sorry you don't have a supportive partner to help you with this sort of thing--especially when you're feeling so sucky--but you're doing the best you can and it IS good enough for your kiddos.
Take some extra Vitamin C--couldn't hoit.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
Oh katchie- we could be TWINS!! I threw up this morning- I don't really know why, but I feel like dirt. My daughter just got over being sick and so did my son, so I'm sure that's where I got it.
I ALSO grounded my eldest daughter (14)..Oh boy she pissed me off sooooo bad. I cried too. My 13 year old son was walking home from school (just a couple blocks away) and my daughter and her friend were getting a ride from her friends older sister. They were on their way to our house because my daughter was just grabbing some clothes to stay the night with her friend and then go to a b-ball game in the morning. So she came running in- grabbed clothes and took off.
My son walks in the house ready to burst into tears. I asked him what was wrong and he said that his sister and her friend passed by him while he was walking. They stopped the car, BACKED up, rolled down the window, called him a fagg0t and drove off. Oh I was furious beyond WORDS!!!! Her phone is taken away and she is grounded for a week. This is the daughter who refuses to go to family day at rehab, won't talk to AH, and the list goes on. She goes in for counseling tomorrow. I'm so sick of her verbal abuse to the other kids. AHHHH!
One tip for being sick, and I'm sure you already know this but lots and lots and lot of vitamin C. I take that emergent C stuff at the first HINT of a sniffle. Helps a BUNCH.
Hugs girlie! I know kids can be rough. Yours sounds a lot sweeter than mine right now!
I ALSO grounded my eldest daughter (14)..Oh boy she pissed me off sooooo bad. I cried too. My 13 year old son was walking home from school (just a couple blocks away) and my daughter and her friend were getting a ride from her friends older sister. They were on their way to our house because my daughter was just grabbing some clothes to stay the night with her friend and then go to a b-ball game in the morning. So she came running in- grabbed clothes and took off.
My son walks in the house ready to burst into tears. I asked him what was wrong and he said that his sister and her friend passed by him while he was walking. They stopped the car, BACKED up, rolled down the window, called him a fagg0t and drove off. Oh I was furious beyond WORDS!!!! Her phone is taken away and she is grounded for a week. This is the daughter who refuses to go to family day at rehab, won't talk to AH, and the list goes on. She goes in for counseling tomorrow. I'm so sick of her verbal abuse to the other kids. AHHHH!
One tip for being sick, and I'm sure you already know this but lots and lots and lot of vitamin C. I take that emergent C stuff at the first HINT of a sniffle. Helps a BUNCH.
Hugs girlie! I know kids can be rough. Yours sounds a lot sweeter than mine right now!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
Thanks for your perspectives. It's always helpful.
I forgot to add...my hairdresser informed me Sunday night that my hair is thinning...what the crud! I've always had thick hair! I feel like I'm falling to pieces
I forgot to add...my hairdresser informed me Sunday night that my hair is thinning...what the crud! I've always had thick hair! I feel like I'm falling to pieces
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Katchie....one of the most difficult situations that I can think of is to be a "single parent" of 4 teen aged boys. (I think all of yours are teen or near teen?). Even a married mother can be essentially "single" mother.
We women can be mothers...and we can do good--even great job of being MOM. But we cannot be dad because our boys instinctively look to males as the role m odel for their gender (just as girls look to women).
Katchie, what I learned as a mother of boys is that it is just as important to provide boys with experiences with positive strong males to show them how to be male. This is a heavy responsibility for mothers. I so realize how difficult your job is.
I hope that you always reach out for the help that you need. You are not superhuman no matter how hard you try to be a good m o ther.
I have tons of empathy for you.
dandylion
We women can be mothers...and we can do good--even great job of being MOM. But we cannot be dad because our boys instinctively look to males as the role m odel for their gender (just as girls look to women).
Katchie, what I learned as a mother of boys is that it is just as important to provide boys with experiences with positive strong males to show them how to be male. This is a heavy responsibility for mothers. I so realize how difficult your job is.
I hope that you always reach out for the help that you need. You are not superhuman no matter how hard you try to be a good m o ther.
I have tons of empathy for you.
dandylion
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
((((HUGS))))) Biotin for your hair - many women's multi-vitamins have it in the mix so if yours doesn't it might be worth switching. This has been a concern for me too - my hair thinned a bit last year but my thyroid was whacked too.... now that my meds are adjusted & I'm taking my vits regularly I'm noticing an improvement.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: The planet Earth, or at least that's what I've been told.
Posts: 130
Originally Posted by Katchie 
I forgot to add...my hairdresser informed me Sunday night that my hair is thinning...what the crud! I've always had thick hair! I feel like I'm falling to pieces
In my case it was poor nutrition. You can try taking a multi-vitamin and getting more good fat in your diet. A lot of times when people try to lose weight, the eliminate ALL fat from their diet which is a mistake. You need fat in your diet for healthy skin and hair.
Some foods with good fat for healthy skin and hair - avocados, eggs, nuts (almonds, walnuts, etc), fish, and olive oil. Zinc and vitamin A are also really good for your skin and scalp which will effect hair growth.
Hope this helps!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 865
Originally Posted by Katchie
Thanks for your perspectives. It's always helpful.
I forgot to add...my hairdresser informed me Sunday night that my hair is thinning...what the crud! I've always had thick hair! I feel like I'm falling to pieces
I forgot to add...my hairdresser informed me Sunday night that my hair is thinning...what the crud! I've always had thick hair! I feel like I'm falling to pieces
Hope you feel better soon! Take care of YOU and your beautiful family!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Oh Katchie, I am sorry and hope you get to feeling better. I have had stupid sinus and cold issues for the past two weeks...yuck.
I remember when I broke my leg over the summer not so long after me and XAH split. It was hard b/c I could not do much for myself at first, esp being in a split level house with lots of steps.
On the bright side, my kids helped lots, I was given the opportunity to really appreciate them. And they saw me during a hard time and I think that was good for them to know I am human and need help too.
Life can be rough, take it a day at a time.
Tight hugs!
I remember when I broke my leg over the summer not so long after me and XAH split. It was hard b/c I could not do much for myself at first, esp being in a split level house with lots of steps.
On the bright side, my kids helped lots, I was given the opportunity to really appreciate them. And they saw me during a hard time and I think that was good for them to know I am human and need help too.
Life can be rough, take it a day at a time.
Tight hugs!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 565
Oh honey, I'm sorry you're sick, on top of the usual joys of parenting teens (I have two, 13 and 17!).
I feel like I am just barely dodging that flu bullet lately -
Hang in there, tons of fluids, tons of rest,rest,rest.
xo
I feel like I am just barely dodging that flu bullet lately -
Hang in there, tons of fluids, tons of rest,rest,rest.
xo
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Hugs Katchie. I have one teenage son to manage. I cannot imagine four. I suspect I would have run away from home by now. Plus the flu. I've heard this bug going around lately is especially nasty. I've had all sorts of exotic illnesses so I'm hoping to skip this one, but wish in one hand, poo in the other, as they say.
I'd tell you to stay strong, etc., but you are already the queen of "intestinal fortitude" (guts) as we like to call it in the Army, so I will just wish you a speedy recovery and hope that your enthusiastic son grows a "common sense" gland soon. If not, have him wait on you hand and foot while you are sick and tell him that's what it's like to have a baby in the house, except a baby can't make it to the toilet.
Did I mention hugs? Take care.
I'd tell you to stay strong, etc., but you are already the queen of "intestinal fortitude" (guts) as we like to call it in the Army, so I will just wish you a speedy recovery and hope that your enthusiastic son grows a "common sense" gland soon. If not, have him wait on you hand and foot while you are sick and tell him that's what it's like to have a baby in the house, except a baby can't make it to the toilet.
Did I mention hugs? Take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
Thanks for asking. I have the flu as does one of my son's and now Ah too (he is still staying in a hotel, that must stink extra when you're sick). I'm drinking tons of fluids and hot broths mingled with lots cat naps. I hate this cough, it hurts my head. Hopefully I'll be done with it in another day or two.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
