feathersandhope

Hello kind people, I've been struggling with alcoholism for about 20 years; I am almost 38. I never really recognized it as a problem until my 30s. About 3 years ago, it was very clear that it was a problem - a big problem. My husband and family have strongly encouraged me to stop over the years. My younger sister faced up to being an alcoholic several years ago. She went to AA and got sober. She took me to my first AA meeting. By what seemed a miracle from God I was able to get sober and stay sober for 5 months. Getting sober was one of the most difficult and life changing things I have ever done. And 5 months, I was feeling amazing. Then.... I slipped back. Insanity. And ever since then it's been fits and starts to get back on track - I am really struggling. I can't continue this anymore and am ready to live my truth. I don't want to ruin my life. I don't want to die or do something awful I'll regret while intoxicated. I want to have a beautiful and full life. I know the only way I can do this is through rigorous honesty and a good support system... Which is why I am here. I am scared and a little fragile right now, and humbly ask for your support in this journey - I will support you, too. ~feathersandhope

OnMyWay7

I feathersandhope. Welcome and I'll do what I can to support you. I had a time of recovery in2011 and I think like you need to "really" do it this time.

I hope your family continues to support you - hugs to you.

CaseyW

Welcome! Your story sounds a whole lot like mine. This board can be a great resource for support as you walk the sober path. Look forward to hearing more from you!

Kg1015

Hi, feathersandhope. I too am new here, and have also been able to quit for several months at a time in the past. We can do this. I'm here to support you!

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR!

Congratulations on your decision to live a sober life!

mns1

Hi feathersandhope you've come to a good place.

Hang in there you can find a way through this!

JanieJ

Welcome Feathers, good to meet you

feathersandhope

Thank you all for your replies! I was nervous to introduce myself, but I'm ready to come out of the closet. Look forward to connecting with like-minded people.

My experiences with drinking has been up and down. In high school, it was a magical potion that made my anxiety and inhibitions go away. I was a painfully shy kid and suffered anxiety and depression through adolescence and into adulthood. Drinking became my anesthetic. From there it just became normal for me to drink regularly and I tended to socialize with other heavy drinkers. Drinking was my hobby. Wine was my best friend.

I have come close to completely ruining my life several times now, I have done things I am not proud of while intoxicated, and what kills me is how quickly I forget all of this and think maybe it's ok if I drink.

I need to remind myself this is a chronic disease. Even when I feel good and strong again, I can fall back again so easily.

Talking and connecting with other people who understand this mind boggling disease really helps a lot! Thank you all! Look forward to chatting more on this site.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Feathersandhope!!

Soberwolf

Nice to meet you F&H

Welcome

SoberLeigh

Welcome, feathersandhope, to SR. Thank you for your offer of support; we thrive on support around here.

Are you thinking about going back to AA?

Glad you found SR.

Findingtheway

Hello Feathersandhope,

Like you i have experienced the good things that sobriety can offer us, and like you i have slipped along the path.

I'm glad to meet you. You are NOT alone in your experiences.

I use SR alot for support. I hope to see you around.