TinyVoice

Well I feel that I am now being blackmailed by my ASO so that I won't leave him. He has concocted some situation in his head that rationalizes why I asked him to leave so that he doesn't have to think about his drinking being the issue. He is jealous. Thinks I am into some other guy. I asked him to leave and he won't. Says he'll ruin this poor innocent guy's life if I don't confess things that aren't even true.

I have been on this forum in the past under a different name. I had to change my user account as he snoops on my PC and I am afraid of being "caught" on here. I hate living in fear. I can't do anything right now as he threatens to ruin this poor young man's life and his life's passion. I'm scared. I'm confused. I'm manipulated. This is so surreal.

I don't know what to do. I feel like my SO is insane. He is scaring me. I was so worried about him beating me but I see now that he is too smart for that. He is just into mind games and mental abuse. I just don't know what to do. I'm beyond despair. I can't believe I am in this situation.

and I'm sorry. I don't want to go into details for fear that he will get on here and recognize the situation and go ballistic becuase I am on some forum spilling my guts. I feel so terrorized and afraid and helpless. HE is also jeopardizing my job.

journeygal

(((((((TV))))))

Since he won't leave, can you leave? If he's threatening you and your friend, document everything and go to the police. Get a restraining order if necessary. You should not have to live in fear.

Don't worry about the details. Just keep posting and let us know you're ok.

Be careful!

splendra

Tinyvoice-

I am concerned for you!!! You need to reach out somehow in your community. It is my understanding that if you feel terrorized even if you are not being phyiscally hit you are living in violence.... We cannot tollerate violence of any kind in our homes. It sounds like you need to have him removed with the help of the police. I am sure that all counties have shelters and counselors for women living in violence. It sounds like itr is just a matter of time before your S/O blows his cork. Please get help with this today!!!

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi Tinyvoice.

Are you able to contact a spouse abuse center in your area? The counselors there may have some advice for you. One might speculate that if he's not being violent with you he won't be with this young man either, but I would get some advice from a pro about who needs warning, in what depth and if the police should be advised. It's not unusual for substance abusers to point fingers at anything and everything else, but if you're afraid trust your fear and get some local backup. Safety first.

Hugs,
Smoke

TinyVoice

I don't know who to go to?? I can't even think straight. I can't leave. Sorry - cant go into detail. I am afriad for my kids. As long as I tell him I love him everything is OK. How long can I fake it? My kid's life is ruined. I may take them and run. But then I will lose my job and everything. I'm just so scared.

I am not sure where to turn. He is going to ruin my life. I didn't know he had it in him to be so cruel. If this is love I won't no part of it ever again.

splendra

TV-

Do you have a phone book?

TinyVoice

im calling a shelter right now.

TinyVoice

what kind of abuse shelter doesn't answser the phone?? I got a recording.

boudrette

Is there a current physical threat to you now?

splendra

then make sure you leave a message. Violence is a big problem!! Or keep calling back until someone answers.

splendra

Also look in the Government section of your phone book under domestic violence they may have other numbers or resources...

osier59

OR you can call the local law - 911 or the sheriff or whomever. If you have a job, does your employer offer employee assistance? sometimes they have numbers for shelters etc, and if you let them know whats going on they can often be supportive and helpful... and its much more likely that you wont lose your job as a result of something stupid that HE does.

Hugs. Take care of yourself

givingup

Tiny Voice - If you are in the house right now with this man, leave immediately with your kids. Go to the shelter or call from a safe place. You are not safe. Let that tiny voice lead you to do what you know you must.

I will pray for your safety.

eveie

((((((((( tiny voice)))))))))) your in my prayers and I agree with the others on what they said, I am in no position to give advice on this one, and I can understand that sometimes a shelter seems scarier too, but I agree with the person who suggested u talk to your job, they may understand and help you! Take a chance! What about your friend, this person you spoke of? Does he have family or friends you can stay with? someone your S/O doesnt know? Your in my prayers!!!!!!!

TinyVoice

I may file for a protective order. He has an outstanding warrant for his arrest out now so they will find that.

redrose0729

TV
I don't know how the laws work where you live but where I live you can file for a protection order and also for a divorce( or separation) depends on what you want and ask for the house and custody of the kids and he would be removed and will not be allowed to come back around untill the hearing. I do not know a judge that would force a mother and children out of their home. You may have to stay at a shelter untill all of this takes place. In anyway I believe you should contact an attorney first thing after you get out.
Good Luck and Best Wishes

redrose0729

I don't know your money situation but when i was going through my divorce my attorney let me make payments. Keep safe!!!

givingup

Tiny Voice - do you know how to delete the history on your computer so that your AH doesn't know which sites you've been on?