saving my marriage
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: MObile,
Posts: 1
saving my marriage
Good morning to each of you and thank you for allowing me to join this group. My husband has gotten himself a crack problem, I have no idea how to help him. I moved out because I do not like the person he has become. I love him but do not like him at this point. HOW DO I HELP HIM GET HIS LIFE BACK ON TRACK? He admitted he has a problem and has quit, I know you can not quit in one day. We are about to lose everything....any advice
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,423
You can't "help" him cure his addiction.
Unfortunately, he has to want to help himself.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this but I think moving out was the right step.
Some addicts have to hit bottom before they think about quitting.
Are your finances such as bank accounts and credit cards seperated?
They should be if not, because crack addicts will often steal and sell anything, including assets of family members to support their habit.
I suggest you go to the Friends and Family of Substance Abusers section and maybe post there--perhaps the mods will move this thread as you can get more help from people who have direct experience with your situation.
Here is a link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/
Best to you and welcome to SR
Unfortunately, he has to want to help himself.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this but I think moving out was the right step.
Some addicts have to hit bottom before they think about quitting.
Are your finances such as bank accounts and credit cards seperated?
They should be if not, because crack addicts will often steal and sell anything, including assets of family members to support their habit.
I suggest you go to the Friends and Family of Substance Abusers section and maybe post there--perhaps the mods will move this thread as you can get more help from people who have direct experience with your situation.
Here is a link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/
Best to you and welcome to SR
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Unfortunately you can't "Make" him get his life back on track. You can certainly be supportive of his efforts, but at the end of the day only he can do the work and make the effort to quit and stay sober.
You can seek help for yourself, Narc-anon is a group that helps spouses and partners of those with substance abuse problems. The forum suggested by Hawkeye might be of help too, there are many others in your situation there you can talk with.
You can seek help for yourself, Narc-anon is a group that helps spouses and partners of those with substance abuse problems. The forum suggested by Hawkeye might be of help too, there are many others in your situation there you can talk with.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome MattieJo youl find a ton of support here try these links
Nar-Anon Family Groups
NEW! 12-Step Support for Friends and Family - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information NEW! Secular Connections for Friends and Family - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Nar-Anon Family Groups
NEW! 12-Step Support for Friends and Family - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information NEW! Secular Connections for Friends and Family - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
You are not going to save him he has to save himself. You can help by getting phone numbers to NA, a doctor, and treatment centers.
If he makes the call it will the first step towards recovery. If not you have done what you can
If he makes the call it will the first step towards recovery. If not you have done what you can
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hi Mattie. Welcome to SR. What a timely topic. I am sorry you are dealing with this but you are in the right place. My husband is a crack addict/alcoholic and recently relapsed again. We've been married ten years this week and he has cycled in and out of sobriety that entire time.
First off. He has to want to quit. You can give him numbers to call but he has to do the work.
If you are out of the house and he is still using, stay out and take care of yourself. If he was at the point of stealing your stuff despite you hiding it and pawning things and you never knew where he is, I know you are exhausted. Staying out will give you a safe place to actually bteath and think. If he promises to get sober and to get help, still stay out of the house. Crack addicts are extremely manipulative. He will sweet talk you into wanting to hope things will get better. They do it until the heat is off.
Focus on you. I cannot say that too many times. . I will check back here later. Im typing on my phone and its terrible. I wanted to let you know I've been through it and understand. You can get through this.
First off. He has to want to quit. You can give him numbers to call but he has to do the work.
If you are out of the house and he is still using, stay out and take care of yourself. If he was at the point of stealing your stuff despite you hiding it and pawning things and you never knew where he is, I know you are exhausted. Staying out will give you a safe place to actually bteath and think. If he promises to get sober and to get help, still stay out of the house. Crack addicts are extremely manipulative. He will sweet talk you into wanting to hope things will get better. They do it until the heat is off.
Focus on you. I cannot say that too many times. . I will check back here later. Im typing on my phone and its terrible. I wanted to let you know I've been through it and understand. You can get through this.
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