Katchie

I'm truly enjoying the fact he hasn't been home for 7 days now. I do have a niggling in the back of my mind wondering about him, but nothing too bad.

I'm pretty sure he didn't talk to his mom about his addiction by the way she interacted with us, but I'm not surprised. He said he would, but I always knew he wouldn't follow through. Just like last year when he said he would talk to the boys and didn't. He has a real problem with this sort of thing. I think it must be pretty hard to be him right now. But this doesn't excuse lots of things for me.

When it comes to separating, his actions, like showing up to greet his mother when he had obviously been drinking (obvious to me anyway), are helping me see clearer and clearer that it is the right path. Now, he is making me think that in the long run we will end up divorcing. Maybe he will prove me wrong. We'll see. Not holding my breath. I want to give it a year, unless he spirals out of control worse. I just want to get on with my life in a NORMAL fashion, either with a sober husband or w/o him, but normal is key.

My grandmothers home needs a lot of work and it isn't on the best side of town, as most older neighborhoods tend to become, but I'm still thinking it may be the best that I move over there even though he has offered to do that instead. It's a little further from my kids school and its perhaps a little more than 1/2 the size of the home I'm in now, which poses a little problem for the boys, but its the only thing that is mine. I've heard, but haven't confirmed with a lawyer, that if I allow him to live there, even tho the home doesn't have his name on it, that in the event we divorce it will show intent and will be considered marital property. I just can't allow that. I have a lot of work to do this week.

Thanks for reading. I have a lot of thoughts swirling around my head today.

atalose

Is your name on your grandmothers home? If yes I would still check with an attorney on how a divorce would impact that before you make any major decisions.

freetosmile

I really can relate with the wanting to wait thing. I mean, I WANT to leave so bad. But for me, I think I NEED to get healthier first. I am wanting to detach from his alcoholism and abuse and gain strength so that when the time comes to leave, I KNOW that I can without caving...I don't know if this is the right way to do it or not. But I can relate for sure.

I think you did an outstanding job with MIL and all that. Good on ya Katchie. Keep it up girlie. I'm so proud of you!

dandylion

freetosmile...(sorry to interrupt katchie's thread)...I will just briefly say to freetosmile--I think your reasoning is sound except for the ONE thing...abuse can knock that reasoning on it's caboose. Living in daily abuse doesn't get a person stronger.

dandylion

please forgive me....!

CodeJob

Keep knocking out the details Katchie. It will fall into place with or without him.

Katchie

Yes, my name and that of two of my siblings have our names on the home. It is our inheritance. My siblings hope to keep it in the family and are fine with me living there. I may, when I'm able, pay them their portion of the homes value so that its mine solely. I know they are just happy it is in the family and being put to good use. I originally thought I would give it to my eldest son, or whichever son needed it the most, to help out. Its nice that the home is paid for.