Densol

I'm on day 10 now ! 12 pounds weight loss and $100 saved !! I feel so great :-)

However I hope it's ok to post these nasty things that happened when I was drunk ! I need a reminder and this is the only safe place to store them :-

1. Falling over in public places - especially when dancing
2. Getting so drunk I couldn't recall the night ( or the man ) the next morning
3. Getting so drunk - I didn't protect my drinks and got spiked with Ketamine
4. From the above getting assaulted in a club and involved the police
5. Arguing with various friends and losing friendships
6. Posting nasty stuff on Facebook and sending abusive texts
7. Bullying my young boyfriend and being argumentative
8. Arguing with my family
9. Putting on 50 pounds in weight in a year
10. The WORST and the trigger to change MY life forever ... Screaming abuse at my boyfriend and his family at a New Years Eve party - apart from boyfriend they won't ever speak to me again

So a timely reminder when I get those rose tinted glasses over drinking and think one won't hurt - I'm foul and evil when drunk - but sober Im actually a pretty nice and decent person lol

Thanks

Weasel1966

Welcome to SR Densol.

Lots of bad things happen when we drink don't they. Glad you are here and starting to make thing right for yourself.

K

Soberwolf

Well done on day 10 Densol

Keep up the good work

N3p3nth3

Congrats on your progress Densol. I always told myself that alcohol didn't have much of an effect on my life. But looking back, many negative things were tied to my drinking habits in some way. It's nice to feel like I'm on a path toward being a kinder better person.

Tang

By the way, there are a lot of people willing to forgive especially if they find out you are sober.

BernieE

It's good to have a list to review when the alcoholic amnesia hits and we start to convince ourselves it wasn't that bad. I also recorded my worst memories for two reasons, one to remember but two, so I didn't have to keep reviewing them in my head. The AV can strike hard when I beat myself up with remorse and shame over past antics.

Great job on 10 days!

JanieJ

Congratulations on day 10 Densol.

Yeah, I fell over a lot too. And drove drunk all the time.The more I think back the more things I realise I did.

You are doing awesome

IfYouCanDream

Densol, thank you for posting this. I also tend to get aggressive when drunk (except for those times when I pass out) and can relate to a lot of things on your list.

Rooting for you. We can do this.

qbee223

I can relate to all of those. I am horrendous, horny and inconsiderate when drunk. I also think I look like a supermodel. I have made most of those mistakes, but this is my day 1, again. And awesome job on day ten! Thats great! Keep up the good work!

MelindaFlowers

Keep that list handy. It's easy to forget. Trust me, I've done nine of those. We need daily reminders.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!

Posting is always good as a record to check back on, if you forget and feel the urge to drink, reading my old posts are always a great resource!!

Wastinglife

I am a male version of you Densol. I used to be a happy, fun drunk through college and my mid 20's. Then as my drinking progressed and my tolerance rose, something changed. I would drink myself into stupors where I would transform into a mean, aggressive drunk. I would argue and fight with family, friends, and complete strangers. If I went home with a girl from the bar, I was usually too drunk to 'perform' and would just pass out.

I hate who I become when I drink yet for so many years I continued the pattern despite all the consequences and shameful things I did. Family and friends have distanced themselves. I can also relate to being shunned by a partner's family.

I am sober almost a year but still have trouble with guilt and shame. Take away the booze and we are good people, right? We all know what to do here to end the madness. No alcohol period!

SDH73

I was never one to try and get involved in life when I was drinking, so no drunk texts, calls, Facebook posts or anything like that.

One instance that stands out in my memory, though, was hanging out with a friend at a bar and I was lubed up enough to start talking crap about a friend of his that I didn't like. He just got up while I was in mid-sentence and left. We're still lukewarm at best. Like I need to lose any more friends...

I've said a lot of things when drinking to a lot of people that probably shouldn't have been said. Still dealing with remorse about that.

This is perhaps TMI, but in blackout state (which was fairly frequently) I would sometimes pee wherever. Destroyed a few rugs. At home, of course, not in public because I did most of my really HEAVY drinking alone at home. One hungover morning I grabbed a beer and my bottle of vodka and went to my easy chair to drink some more and play on my Xbox 360. It wouldn't turn on. Upon inspection of the console I came to the conclusion that at some point the night before I had peed on it! Don't remember doing it, don't know if I was frustrated with the game or just so out of it that it seemed like a good place to pee.

Anyway, I got in my car and drove to Target, bought a new one (expensive!), got it home and continued on with my day. Drinking and playing video games.

Oh, the ridiculousness of it all.

Densol

Thank you everyone - it's good to know I'm not the only one. I'm just so glad I've taken the decision not to drink again - it was like drinking fruit juice in the end as my tolerance got so big and then suddenly I was drunk and in a stupor.

least

Welcome to the family! Ten days sober is a good start to a better life.

saudades

Densol, I'm almost 10 for 10 on that list as well. I've been flirting with quitting for the last several weeks and I am starting again today (and I intend to make it my last time!) As some others have said, I also started out as a fun, happy drunk back in college. But I think as I started to go through some hard times in life, I turned to alcohol to numb things out instead of just having fun at parties. And that's when I stopped being fun and became just outright nasty. It's bad enough to do something to embarrass yourself, but when I think about the nasty things I have said and done to people I love, I am just so ashamed. I am lucky enough to have awesome friends who have forgiven me, but I know that if I keep this up, there's going to come a point when I'll do something unforgivable. Congrats on 10 days (and the 12 pounds, I've gotta lose some weight for my wedding so that's encouraging too!