Depression
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 699
Depression
Been to GP and had the citalopram increased to 40 mg as of Wednesday just gone. Don't feel any better and I would say that I've had about 2 ok-ish days in the last 4 weeks which is putting me on a massive downer in itself.
I'm walking around in a daze. I feel like a complete observer who has stepped out of my body and has lost all connection with it.
I played in my band tonight and I may as well have not been there, felt really isolated and was not really taking anything anyone said in.
Things feel very dark at this current time. People are trying, I can sense that and I appreciate they care I really do. The saddest thing is that I feel nothing right now, I have a very poor quality of day and am nowhere near ready to return to work.
I'm afraid it looks like more changes in meds as this one is not working- 4 weeks in I'd expect at least some glimmers of improvement- but nothing.
84 days sober today and I should be over the moon. Instead I'm at the bottom of the pile, down in the dumps.
I'm walking around in a daze. I feel like a complete observer who has stepped out of my body and has lost all connection with it.
I played in my band tonight and I may as well have not been there, felt really isolated and was not really taking anything anyone said in.
Things feel very dark at this current time. People are trying, I can sense that and I appreciate they care I really do. The saddest thing is that I feel nothing right now, I have a very poor quality of day and am nowhere near ready to return to work.
I'm afraid it looks like more changes in meds as this one is not working- 4 weeks in I'd expect at least some glimmers of improvement- but nothing.
84 days sober today and I should be over the moon. Instead I'm at the bottom of the pile, down in the dumps.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
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Stewy, I'm sorry you're going through this. As someone who struggled to find the right medication, I know how frustrating it is. I'm glad you went back to your dr. Don't give up.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
Sorry to hear you aren't feeling well Stewy. What do you play in your band? As a home musician I admire those who are confident and skilled enough to play in public.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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Thanks guys,
Family are getting fed up of me now and you can tell they are willing me to snap out of it. Seems so easy when you say it like that.
I know myself though and I'm nowhere near where I need to be
Family are getting fed up of me now and you can tell they are willing me to snap out of it. Seems so easy when you say it like that.
I know myself though and I'm nowhere near where I need to be
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
You aren't alone fighting a bout of depression Stewy.
I was in your shoes last year. It did take my meds about another 10 days to kick in after a dosage increase. Hard to be patient when you feel so disconnected I know. You just want to feel like a part of life's fabric again.
This might seem counterintuitive, but emotionally this last time I did a lot of internal mind work. I went down and down deep. Had a counselor, and just kept going backwards to unravel some FOO issues.
Depression is a fog that has come and gone throughout my life. When I'm in that fog, I am so fearful it will never lift. I wish you could get a weather report on when it will lift.
Be patient. Work on you. There are people who know that feeling who can empathize. It will lift.
I was in your shoes last year. It did take my meds about another 10 days to kick in after a dosage increase. Hard to be patient when you feel so disconnected I know. You just want to feel like a part of life's fabric again.
This might seem counterintuitive, but emotionally this last time I did a lot of internal mind work. I went down and down deep. Had a counselor, and just kept going backwards to unravel some FOO issues.
Depression is a fog that has come and gone throughout my life. When I'm in that fog, I am so fearful it will never lift. I wish you could get a weather report on when it will lift.
Be patient. Work on you. There are people who know that feeling who can empathize. It will lift.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: North East Scotland
Posts: 487
Hey Stewy
It's a nightmare getting onto meds.....
I've been there ..... I'm taking Sertraline .... took about 6 - 8 weeks for them to start taking effect. Everytime Dr increased the dose - the damn side effects would get worse.
I felt even worse for the 6 - 8 weeks when I started the meds before I started to feel better. I thought about stopping them - but glad I didn't.
The feeling of de-personalisation is one of the worst side effects I had of starting meds ...
Well done on 84 days sober - that's fantastic.....
Hang in there. It'll get better.
x
It's a nightmare getting onto meds.....
I've been there ..... I'm taking Sertraline .... took about 6 - 8 weeks for them to start taking effect. Everytime Dr increased the dose - the damn side effects would get worse.
I felt even worse for the 6 - 8 weeks when I started the meds before I started to feel better. I thought about stopping them - but glad I didn't.
The feeling of de-personalisation is one of the worst side effects I had of starting meds ...
Well done on 84 days sober - that's fantastic.....
Hang in there. It'll get better.
x
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Originally Posted by soberwolf
Hi Stewy at 84 days sober your doing a lot better than you would be drinking Depression can be so destructive to the person and i understand how you feel Stwey have you considered Councelling or CBT ?
I've been put on the waiting list for CBT, fingers crossed the wait isn't too long
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Originally Posted by ShenzyT
Hey Stewy It's a nightmare getting onto meds..... I've been there ..... I'm taking Sertraline .... took about 6 - 8 weeks for them to start taking effect. Everytime Dr increased the dose - the damn side effects would get worse. I felt even worse for the 6 - 8 weeks when I started the meds before I started to feel better. I thought about stopping them - but glad I didn't. The feeling of de-personalisation is one of the worst side effects I had of starting meds ... Well done on 84 days sober - that's fantastic..... Hang in there. It'll get better. x
I feel in a very dark place at the moment
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 525
Originally Posted by Stewy84
I'm walking around in a daze. I feel like a complete observer who has stepped out of my body and has lost all connection with it.
...Things feel very dark at this current time. People are trying, I can sense that and I appreciate they care I really do. The saddest thing is that I feel nothing right now, I have a very poor quality of day and am nowhere near ready to return to work.
84 days sober today and I should be over the moon.
...Things feel very dark at this current time. People are trying, I can sense that and I appreciate they care I really do. The saddest thing is that I feel nothing right now, I have a very poor quality of day and am nowhere near ready to return to work.
84 days sober today and I should be over the moon.
That's frustrating. And it sounds like you were using alcohol to medicate the feelings youre experiencing now. But the problem is that alcohol provides such short term relief for a few hours, but then the mental problems come back stronger afterwards. The long term good news is that you've discovered a strong reason why you drank in the past, to have these feelings go away. The bad news is that it may take some time to find the right meds to effectively treat your problems. And, alcohol does change our brain chemistry a bit, so stopping sooner means less time for the brain to rewire itself.
It's tough to hear "hang in there". But alcohol won't work the way it worked when you were younger, so that really isn't an option anymore. but hang in there, you're handling your situation in the most effective way you can.
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Stewy, hang in there.
Something that might help is to go do something new. Something you haven't done. As simple as walking through the mall or hiking a local trail if you haven't done it before can refresh the mind.
Something that might help is to go do something new. Something you haven't done. As simple as walking through the mall or hiking a local trail if you haven't done it before can refresh the mind.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by Stewy84
B
I'm walking around in a daze. I feel like a complete observer who has stepped out of my body and has lost all connection with it.
I played in my band tonight and I may as well have not been there, felt really isolated and was not really taking anything anyone said in.
Things feel very dark at this current time. People are trying, I can sense that and I appreciate they care I really do. The saddest thing is that I feel nothing right now, I have a very poor quality of day and am nowhere near ready to return to work.
I'm afraid it looks like more changes in meds as this one is not working- 4 weeks in I'd expect at least some glimmers of improvement- but nothing.
84 days sober today and I should be over the moon. Instead I'm at the bottom of the pile, down in the dumps.
I'm walking around in a daze. I feel like a complete observer who has stepped out of my body and has lost all connection with it.
I played in my band tonight and I may as well have not been there, felt really isolated and was not really taking anything anyone said in.
Things feel very dark at this current time. People are trying, I can sense that and I appreciate they care I really do. The saddest thing is that I feel nothing right now, I have a very poor quality of day and am nowhere near ready to return to work.
I'm afraid it looks like more changes in meds as this one is not working- 4 weeks in I'd expect at least some glimmers of improvement- but nothing.
84 days sober today and I should be over the moon. Instead I'm at the bottom of the pile, down in the dumps.
You're going to get through it. The PAWS (Protracted Acute Withdrawal Syndrome) symptoms can come and go and make it feel like they bring us down back to square one. It is amazing how long the PAWS can last, but the good news is that the PAWS is a sign that things are getting better.
It has been my experience that the symptoms come back when you least expect them, but they should lessen, and if you think hard about what it was like when you first quit, then you would probably agree that you are in a much better place now.
84 days is a great accomplishment, keep going!!!
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
I was coming up on 8 months sober - and going through a vicious depression. I decided to drink because I felt like why bother being sober since I felt so crappy. It only made things worse. So staying sober will only keep things from getting worse. Your depression has nothing to do with being sober or not drinking. Need to get to the root of what is causing your feelings - it takes time and serious self reflection.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Stewy84
I feel terrible almost worse than when it all started!
I've been put on the waiting list for CBT, fingers crossed the wait isn't too long
I've been put on the waiting list for CBT, fingers crossed the wait isn't too long
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Stewy84
I feel terrible almost worse than when it all started!
I've been put on the waiting list for CBT, fingers crossed the wait isn't too long
I've been put on the waiting list for CBT, fingers crossed the wait isn't too long
ive got friends who have had CBT and they said it really helps
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I have had my girlfriend shouting at me today. She doesn't think I'm putting enough effort in and waiting around too much.
Maybe she's right....
I keep going back to the stupid meds not working as the reason my progress is stunted though.
Think I'm going to have to drag myself out of this
Maybe she's right....
I keep going back to the stupid meds not working as the reason my progress is stunted though.
Think I'm going to have to drag myself out of this
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