SoberAndy94

Hi guys,

Only my third post. Things were going really well for a while. My parents finally let me back in the house because they knew I was a changed man. The only condition of me staying there was not to have a drink. Did I have a drink you're wandering? No, however, I did have a very old small empty scotch bottle in my safe which had been in there for about 3 months. I never use the safe and I completely forgot it was in there. Cut to yesterday, my mum found it, was convinced i'd been drinking which I hadn't. All that family peace and love and trust which had been built up over the past few weeks has been completely shattered in a matter of seconds. I called my sister and she was so understanding (I love my sister to bits). Parents kicked me out for the weekend so now i'm sat here writing this in a hotel room. And guess what? I was nearly 1 month sober. Not now, the first thing I did was buy a bottle of wine, which led to 2, which led to 3, you get the gist. So yeah I wasn't drinking and an accusation of me drinking led me to drink again? How frigin crazy is that?!?!?!

mavrick

Get yourself sober and give it another try.

SoberAndy94

I know I have to get sober, I just feel like such a failure though :'(

Anna

I think you made a decision that made the situation worse than it already was.

It's understandable that those around us are easily convinced that we are drinking again. After all, we have lied to them before countless times. Of course, as time goes by, that will change.

I hope that you decide to stop drinking again. We're here for you.

mavrick

You're not a failure Andy you're probably a great bloke. But when you put alcohol inside you it make you feel like a failure.

SoberAndy94

Thank you so much. At the end of the day I can't really blame my parents for not believing me because I've lied to them so many times before

Anewyear

You are not a failure! A month sober is outstanding!
Your mom not believing you and kicking you out triggered you.
Now you know as you restart sobriety how to handle a situation like that if it happens.
Get sober again now and go forward. Believe in yourself you can do this!!!

Peter_819

You're never a failure untill you give up trying. It sucks to be wrongfully accused of something, especially when it can be so tough to stay sober in the first place. If you still have any alcohol left I'd dump it and restart now.

Nofearnobeer

If you came home and there was a dent on your car that someone else put there, and your parents said "Look Andy , ya wrecked your car" , would you then go out and total your car to prove them right???

If not , then why wreck yourself...

Chuck the bottle out , give the parents some room to make some mis-judgements based on past history...

No drinking and open communication with your parents is key here...

Stick with it ..!!

upminer

It's common... Similar for me would be when my wife offered me a drink a few weeks ago. In my mind I know I could have just one however she would always throw it in my face from then on and the "if they are thinking I'm a drinker I might as well be one" takes over... Abstinence it the only answer. Start over its all you can do. It takes time to rebuild trust.

lulukat

A new beginning for you. What do you think you will do differently when facing a stressful situation in the future? Your experience shows all of us how easy a 'trigger' can get out of hand--and makes me now think through an 'emergency plan to have ready if a problem comes out of the blue. Take care. Remember its always one day at a time.

hayley86

Sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time. You are not a failure. Get rid of the alcohol and start your recovery again. People will see the positive changes... it just takes time. We are here to support you. Best wishes.

Sasha4

Could you go stay with your sister for a while until things settle down?

Get back to no drinking as quick as you can.

Trust can take time to regain.

Its probably been handled this way out of concern for you too. If they didn't care about you, they would not have reacted in the way they did. However, they probably reacted in the wrong way, but then again, they are not perfect either.

I wish you the best xx

Lancashire

The best thing to do is get rid of the empty bottles and any part used bottles, if they exist. Have a shower, brush teeth and go to bed. Tomorrow is your new Day 1.

Put all this behind you.

Just for reference, if you were accused of Murder and you hadn't done it, would you then go off and kill someone, because of the false accusation.

Tomorrow is a new day, treat it accordingly and remember we are here for you, but you have to be there for yourself too.

You can do this.

Tonks

Well, I'm sorry to hear how your family falsely accused you but they weren't entirely without premise. And it didn't lead you to drink... You Chose to drink. We can find excuses anywhere if we look for them.

I hope you further choose to call it quits and dump the rest out man. You deserve better than this crap.

suki44883

I guess you showed them, eh? I don't mean that in a mean way. It's how we think. I'm sure you aren't the only alcoholic who figured if we're going to be accused of something, we might as well do it; even if it's detrimental to us.

It's good you see your faulty thinking. What happened can't be changed, but it can be a learning point. In this particular situation, you didn't hurt anyone by drinking other than yourself.

SoberLife90

Pick yourself up and try again. Learn from this mistake and do it better the next time!

SoberAndy94

Thank you so much guys, it's really helped me and you are all absolutely right. My parents need to trust me again, I understand that because I have put them through hell. But at the end of the day they didn't put a funnel down my neck and force me to drink, it was my decision

Lancashire

Excellent attitude. Now start your new day 1. The first day of the rest of your new life. That old life is all done with, it wants to drag you back to misery and resentment, prevent it. Come up with reasons not to drink. Write them down, tell me, us, tell the world and tell your parents.

Put postick notes over the house with encouraging messages to yourself, not only will keep the AV in check, but your parents will see your really trying hard and give you a little rope.

Keep pushing forward a day at a time, thats how you beat this illness.

Just be careful, your Addictive Voice will soon realise it cannot defeat your resolve under normal circumstances, so it will wait for you have a bad day, get into an argument, death in the family or any weakness it needs to get into your head and persuade you that having a drink is the best possible way to deal with life and its problems. Be aware, your most deadly enemy is not anyone in the world, its a little voice that sounds like the voice reading this post, using the power of suggestion.

hayley86

Hope you're ok today, Andy. Keep moving forward!