117 days today!
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,327
117 days today!
Reading Buggirl's post made me realize, I haven't counted up my sober days in awhile and I'm at 117 days today. Keeping count of the days is important for me; I'm also pleased to see, too, that I'm losing track of the sober days as well as I work towards building a new sober life.
I thank all of you at SR for your support. You have been, and continue to be, a true blessing in my life.
I thank all of you at SR for your support. You have been, and continue to be, a true blessing in my life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,327
Physically, I'm sleeping like a baby: no more waking up in the middle of the night with night sweats and a beating heart. I have a lot more energy and a lot better focus. And although I never thought I had horrible hangovers, I realize that they were definitely taking a toll on me and how my day would go.
Mentally is where I've really noticed the changes. While I drank to relieve anxiety, it was only when I quit drinking that I really realized how much anxiety my drinking was causing. I still get anxious and stressed, but feel much less so now that I'm sober. Part of that is from not drinking, but part of it is also from a shift I've made in my life. I used to work myself to exhaustion in the office and at home and then would drink to check out or reward. No more. If I want to remain sober, I have to take better care of myself, and that means saying no when I need to and also really getting in touch with what I'm able (and more importantly, willing) to do with my precious time. The great thing is that I can do so much more now that I'm sober in terms of efficiency, so I'm still accomplishing a lot, just more selectively. I also give myself a lot of treats and just generally try to take better care of myself.
This has been my big epiphany: quitting drinking is step one. An important step, for sure, but just the first one. To remain sober, I have to change a lot of things in my life, take good care of myself and deal with demons, past and present.
And perhaps the biggest change is that for the first time in years I feel joy. I drank to mitigate a lot of negative feelings; the downside of that was that, much like an antibiotic, it killed all the good with the bad and left me hollow.
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