What do I do with his stuff
aboutdone
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midwest
Posts: 191
What do I do with his stuff
I packed all his crap in garbage bags. Now what? If I gotta move the crap it needs to go to the trash. Been gone almost a week and visited twice and hust stepped over it. Not my problem, right? But I want it out of my house! Yes Im bitter!
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,866
What you can legally do depends on your individual situation. Are you married? Do you own your home (together) or do you rent (is his name on the lease?). It might be a good idea to seek legal counsel as the laws are different between the states.
I'm sorry you are going through this. (((HUGS)))
I'm sorry you are going through this. (((HUGS)))
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
I wouldn't know all the legal implications of it either, but do you have a garage you can put it in? It wouldn't be totally out of the way, but you wouldn't have to sit and look at it. And..if he decided to come get it, you wouln't have to look at him, you could just raise the garage door and let him get his stuff!
aboutdone
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midwest
Posts: 191
Lol. I could or just deliver it, but to me that is just doing more for him that ge is perfectly, grown and capable.to do on his own. Here is the thing, when we went through this in 2009, he left like everything, and didn't care at all. Never did pick up his stuff. I packed it up and moved it like 3 times. Finally packed it in the can he left behind then, and the can was finally towed.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 665
Personally I would put it somewhere out of your way, and let it sit there till he gets his act together to collect it.
Although I must say having a bonfire sounds more fun!
My mum's method of getting rid of my drunk, womanising dad's stuff when he couldn't be bothered to collect it was rather good too, she shredded all his clothes into small pieces and left them in the middle of the lawn!
Although I must say having a bonfire sounds more fun!
My mum's method of getting rid of my drunk, womanising dad's stuff when he couldn't be bothered to collect it was rather good too, she shredded all his clothes into small pieces and left them in the middle of the lawn!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
You could text him it is on the porch and headed for the curb in 24 hours
or you could rent small a storage locker for one month, and drop off the key to his place or leave it with the rental manager
with his name on it and text him where it is.
If you are concerned about him "getting back" at you or legal issues for throwing away his things,
or you don't want him near your property, I'd most likely do the latter and eat the twenty or thirty bucks for rental and small lock to have a clean break.
He doesn't pick it up, he loses it anyway.
Just a thought
P.S. Either way, you don't have any face time or direct communication with him.
That's why I think many people leave their junk. So the other person is forced to engage them.
Not if you don't choose to. . .
or you could rent small a storage locker for one month, and drop off the key to his place or leave it with the rental manager
with his name on it and text him where it is.
If you are concerned about him "getting back" at you or legal issues for throwing away his things,
or you don't want him near your property, I'd most likely do the latter and eat the twenty or thirty bucks for rental and small lock to have a clean break.
He doesn't pick it up, he loses it anyway.
Just a thought
P.S. Either way, you don't have any face time or direct communication with him.
That's why I think many people leave their junk. So the other person is forced to engage them.
Not if you don't choose to. . .
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Personally? I'd deliver it.
I get your point about his being able to retrieve it for himself, but for me, this would be a matter of MY taking care of MYSELF by removing the items in a way that will not make me responsible for their storage.
If you keep it, you will have it hanging around in the back of your mind for the days/weeks/months (years?) to come--"What do I do with his stuff?" The legalities of simply disposing of it vary from one state to another. I'd go for the instant relief of getting it back to him so it's no longer my problem.
I get your point about his being able to retrieve it for himself, but for me, this would be a matter of MY taking care of MYSELF by removing the items in a way that will not make me responsible for their storage.
If you keep it, you will have it hanging around in the back of your mind for the days/weeks/months (years?) to come--"What do I do with his stuff?" The legalities of simply disposing of it vary from one state to another. I'd go for the instant relief of getting it back to him so it's no longer my problem.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
Personally? I'd deliver it.
I get your point about his being able to retrieve it for himself, but for me, this would be a matter of MY taking care of MYSELF by removing the items in a way that will not make me responsible for their storage.
If you keep it, you will have it hanging around in the back of your mind for the days/weeks/months (years?) to come--"What do I do with his stuff?" The legalities of simply disposing of it vary from one state to another. I'd go for the instant relief of getting it back to him so it's no longer my problem.
I get your point about his being able to retrieve it for himself, but for me, this would be a matter of MY taking care of MYSELF by removing the items in a way that will not make me responsible for their storage.
If you keep it, you will have it hanging around in the back of your mind for the days/weeks/months (years?) to come--"What do I do with his stuff?" The legalities of simply disposing of it vary from one state to another. I'd go for the instant relief of getting it back to him so it's no longer my problem.
aboutdone
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midwest
Posts: 191
Lots of great advice! In our relationship, he was incredibly irresponsible. If anything was to get done, it was either I nagged for days, let it go, or did it myself. I guess that is why I feel like not doing a single thing to enable him on that level. Experience tells me he wants me to take charge and play Mommy or whatever, so he can be resentful and dislike that I am mothering him. This past week he told me I needed to just let him fall on his face, which is probably one of the most truest statements he has made in a life of lies. So, I just feel more like sticking it on the curb. I just have a hangup about helping him in any way shape or form at this point.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
Originally Posted by aboutdone
Lots of great advice! In our relationship, he was incredibly irresponsible. If anything was to get done, it was either I nagged for days, let it go, or did it myself. I guess that is why I feel like not doing a single thing to enable him on that level. Experience tells me he wants me to take charge and play Mommy or whatever, so he can be resentful and dislike that I am mothering him. This past week he told me I needed to just let him fall on his face, which is probably one of the most truest statements he has made in a life of lies. So, I just feel more like sticking it on the curb. I just have a hangup about helping him in any way shape or form at this point.
The point we are (mostly) making is that as long as you have his stuff
there is a kind of "connection" maintained.
That's what needs to be severed. Are you maintaining it for yourself
or to make your point? If you want to move on, get rid of the stuff today
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: hot as heck, az
Posts: 142
Back in the day I had an ex who left her stuff behind. I made efforts to get her to come get it but it got to the point where I had to move from that house and did not want to pay to move her stuff too. I had a garage sale, sold it all and paid my mover's fee with it.
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